If two kids “age out” together (become old aged), but one or both remain children, or they remain children in different (perhaps complementary … enabling … symbiotic … ) ways, whose fault is it?
What does it mean to grow? What does it mean not to mature? If we don’t possess/cultivate every single gift that is possible for a person(ality) to possess, are we not a whole person? What about cultures that are not fully developed? What does a fully developed culture look like? A bunch of very rich people and a bunch of very poor people, or an intermingling of gifts?
Is adulthood merely functioning in a broken society the way the shot callers deem helpful? Do they hold themselves to the same standard?
Is it merely gossiping with the right people? Dressing the way they do? Exploiting/tricking people the way they do? Virtue signaling the way they do?
If you’re not growing, is it a sign of immaturity? What about God? Does he have room to improve? Should he be dissatisfied & ashamed staying at his level of — whatever level he is at? Last time I checked, the only way for him to (in a manner of speaking) “change” his level was to come down to ours and show us what it really means to (self-) rule or be mature. When the rich man asked him how to be perfect, Jesus told him to sell everything he had and give it to the poor. Now, is that your standard of responsibility or perfection?
So. What is your standard of measure for maturity?
Who are you wielding it against? Have you asked them what their standard is? Perhaps you don’t measure up to theirs? Who is right and who is wrong?
Do you know any young mature people? Do you know any old immature people?
I think there’s a lot of taste in deciding what maturity is. I know for example that some people consider maturity having a kind of flat emotional line. That just doesn’t work for me. But tastes differ.
Maturity to me means things like:
you know your weaknesses and strengths and can keep this in mind in work, social life and free time activities.
you’re able to deal with cognitive dissonance and sit with it
you’re able to notice when you fuck up and admit it to appropriate others
you use self-reflection in learning
you can admit ignorance when appropriate
you can gauge the degree of exceptionalness of a given event or person - iow not just any old opportunity gets you to sell your property and change your life.
you have a diverse set of communicative approaches
you can deal with a lot of different types of people
you don’t procrastinate - and cause yourself or others harm
you know your own values and also your own contradictions, at least a lot more than you did earlier
you’re still learning and curious and exploratory
I’m not sure how well I do. I’m more mature than I was 20 years ago.
“In each of my friends,” Lewis wrote, “there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets.”
“But for [Lewis’] interest and unceasing eagerness for more,” Tolkien said, “I should never have brought The L. of the R. to a conclusion.”
