Films you'd like to see made

[Jakob]

Throw out your synopses and treatises and any dialogue you might have written, let's get a movie kickstarted or I'll just steal your idea and make a script out of it.

[Jakob]

some ideas

"Die Hard in the Electric Chair"

"True Romance in the Bronx"

"The Avengers but with Native American Gods"

"Free Willy but with a transsexual" (instead of the Orca)

"Lethal Weapon 5"

"Sex and the City meets Blair Witch"

[Meno_]

"The true story of Meno_"

Patented.No unauthorized right of reprint or intellectual production in any form without expressed approval of author .

[Meno_]

"The true story of Meno_"

Patented.No unauthorized right of reprint or intellectual production in any form without expressed approval of author .

I was.just kidding.


A real movie that could work a screenplay entitled : " Hollyweird stranger then fiction: Day when Schwab's drugstore moved to Golden Cup and why Lana Turner would not get discovered there even in drag.

Or, the Stampede is now a Jewish Mortuary,. and other fallacious tales.

[Jakob]

How about

"The Men Who Eat Salted Herring For Breakfast"
(An arthouse film with no intelligible dialogue and a lot fish eating and some explicit sex, where the sounds of fish eating and copulating are artistically mixed together in provocative ways)

or

"Castaway 2: The Weinstein Sabbatical"
(like The Hangover but more offensive)

[Jakob]

"The Burt Reynolds Chronicles"
(A double feature by Tarantino and Kathryn Bigelow)

"Em, Racecar Me"
(A film about a lesser known Mathers spawn who raps in palindromes and tries to get his kin to get him a contract, but ends up in a Mexican standoff in a warehouse in LA)

[Jakob]

"Men Who Think"
(Whitnail And I set in a DC think-tank)

"Grease For Peace"
(A story of a young hustler with a heart of literal gold, which gets stolen by the secret service of a small country)

[Meno_]

The inside.scoop of.Her Highness, Douches of.Kent , Ms.
Markel, at a ball on the arms of Trump, as Melanio looks on with disfavor.

Astralian media mogul at same party talking in hushed murmur to Inquirer magnate and Trump affectionate , "I told You he got a twisted tongue"

and the same answers, "Yeah, but you ain't seen nuttin' yet, wait until Dr.Strangelove's heir appears ridin' a nuke. Said to be new good will ambassador to Hanoi."

"Commin' here with Jane Fonda to give it more emphasis."

"Right. I thought Sandra Burnhard got the part.'

"Shhhhh. Markel could overhear and she'd burn the palace down for some thing like that. Would make the Reichstag dire look like kid's stuff."

[Jakob]

"Groundhog Night"
(A story about a successful comedic film actor who goes home after shooting to deal with a complicated relationship)

"Dirt Alley"
(A story of a console-gaming addict who meets a sexual partner via an in-console chat app. The movie is woven around a series of artistically rendered encounters (like Akira Kurosawa's Dreams) during lunchbreaks on a nightshift at an undefined and incomprehensible, Kafkaesque tech company)

[Jakob]

"She Wears Pink And Beats You Purple"
A feminist coming of age noir

"Saucers from Kenya"
A conspiracy sci-fi

"Out Of America"
A story about Swedish-American clan from Minnesota who move to Canada to avoid the effects of global warming, but get stuck in an Ontario customs office which looks like a crossing between a mental ward in an Ingmar Bergman film and the grocery store in Clerks.

[Meno_]

Sequel to 'Sailor Song' where the extras become understudies and
Hedda Hopper signals a major migration of Latina starlets to Alaska from Hollywood.

They dress up to the hilt, only to find local talent has replaced them.
They are given one way tickets back to Bollywood.

[Jakob]

"King of Africa"
(A story about Ghadaffi being successfully cloned right before the first Rafale sorties, showing how the Real Ghadaffi, through a network of tunnels built by the Chinese, ties together a network of power while forging a pan-African currency from various precious metals. Iron coins, bronze, coins, nickel, zinc, silver, gold, all of that is being forged and stored underground to prepare for a kickstart of a New African Century. Meanwhile however the Americans have gotten wind that there is something rotten under Zimbabwe, and are now exploring, through a series of touchy-feely diplomatic encounters in class A theme-park facilities, the possibility of a cooperation with the Russians to infiltrate the underground of Africa. Think Matrix 3 but without the shitty kung fu.)

[Jakob]

[B]ack to Bollywood.

Very tantalizing.

[Jakob]

"Bad Taste 2: The Most Expensive Movie Never Made"
(Peter Jackson goes back to his roots with a budget)

"Dude, Where's My Goldfish?" or "Dude, Where's My Eagle?"
(A Zack Galiafianakis vehicle)

"Citizen Bane"
(the daring venture of the action-thriller genre into the psychology of resentment and its dark antidote, narcissism)

[barbarianhorde]

"Grunts in Space"
It is the year 2111, spacewar is a reality now and of course that means bootcamps, drill instructors, jarheads in outer space. Much material for several franchises of which GIP is the most notable, foremost tranche.

"Whiskeys for the Birds"
A kind of hyped up "Lost in Translation", where rather than little continuity and meaning there is none and the setting is not Tokyo, Japan, but a hayfield in the middle of nowhere.

[promethean75]

'saving ryan's privates'

During ww2, allied forces receive word that Ryan, an infantry soldier deployed with the third regiment somewhere in Italy, has been killed in action. Incidentally, the american president's nephew needs a testicle transplant, and Ryan is the only person who testicles are compatible. The generals then organize a special team of operatives to infiltrate enemy lines, find Ryan, and recover his testicles before it's too late.

[barbarianhorde]

Good one, though likely unpopular with the execs. They'll go "who is gonna take his girlfriend to watch a movie about balls?"

"Hulk Bitchin'"
say no more

"Ted Talk: Interrupted"
A Ted talk about DMT -the spirit molecule- goes south when it turns out the dealer of the guy who's tedtalking is in the audience and giving out free samples of DMT -the spirit molecule- and slowly the auditorium is turning into an intergalactic vessel and the audience understands itself as time traveling beings and in the end they just leave like in Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

[barbarianhorde]

"The smell of Gorgonzola in the Morning"
Two high school sweethearts who broke up when the man was drafted for some unspecified war and who are now in their 80s meet in the supermarket, and decide to spend a week together in a cabin in Saskatchewan (whoa did I just spell that right spontaneously??) where they enjoy various dairy products together.

[barbarianhorde]

"Me, Briséis (too)"
A moral examination of the Iliad, lived from the perspective of queen Briséis, who is repeatedly being victimized by dominant male toxicity. Release on video.

"Smoke Em If U Got Em"
Seth Rogen, Joe Rogan and Snoop Dogg are trapped in the same limousine as the end of the world breaks out. This is the story of male bonding in the face of adversity and despair.

[Exuberant Teleportation]

They should have made a Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic movie. The scenic vantage points of space shift dynamics, astrophysics, reinventing the game of life, and commanding the Force are all noble aspirations and things that I would have liked to see.

[Karpel Tunnel]

"Smoke Em If U Got Em"
Seth Rogen, Joe Rogan and Snoop Dogg are trapped in the same limousine as the end of the world breaks out. This is the story of male bonding in the face of adversity and despair.

They've come close to this....

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_Is_the_End

[barbarianhorde]

"Smoke Em If U Got Em"
Seth Rogen, Joe Rogan and Snoop Dogg are trapped in the same limousine as the end of the world breaks out. This is the story of male bonding in the face of adversity and despair.

They've come close to this....

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_Is_the_End

Right right. I tried that. To watch it. Perfectly impossible.

Im hoping Joe Rogan and Snoop Dogg will make for a better experience.

[barbarianhorde]

They should have made a Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic movie. The scenic vantage points of space shift dynamics, astrophysics, reinventing the game of life, and commanding the Force are all noble aspirations and things that I would have liked to see.

Yeah but precisely the things cinema cant show you.
Cinema relies on suggestion for storytelling. It is all fake.
These technologies you'd like to see don't actually exist, so we can use them as characters in fiction films but we cant put their mechanics on display. Because there are none.

[Fixed Cross]

Avengers vs Transformers

[Pedro I Rengel]

"Saucers from Kenya"
A conspiracy sci-fi

I straight-up pledge $100 for this.