at least one constitutive difference between men and women

[Pedro I Rengel]

I have a friend who is a transsexual. I met him after many years of being a guy, though biologically he was a girl. We would have long conversations, they were fun. But beyond that, the reason they were fun is that he was fast on the pick-up. We would wander from one subject to another, one topic to another, all the while observing our surroundings.

After years of knowing him, he began hormone treatment, testosterone. To the point where he has a beard thicker than mine. Now, we don't have conversations. He is like a missile. His attention can only be on one thing at a time, and it is never on the moment. He is always fretting about some thing to achieve, a deal there, a chore here. His attention is very difficult to hold. Like in all instances of "attention deficit," it is not because he has little attention, but because he has a lot of attention on one all consuming thing inside him. He has some goal, some mission. He is attracted in the outside world only by things that reflect the mechanics of obsession and the tools it requires, harsh things, dirty jokes, nice cars, hard riding.

A single minded being.

The point of this is not to say that all men are a certain way, or that all women are a certain way, but that there is a clear chemical difference in how men and women perceive the world. Men aren't assholes, or they are, but they can't help it, or it takes a lot of training to help it somewhat.

Women are much more sensitive, which simply means a lot more present. A lot more in the moment. They are aware of a million things at once, they are receptive to their environments. They also don't project to the future as much.

You can sit with a woman for many hours, and talk about a million things, and nothing be decided. Even if you think it's decided.

You can sit with a man for a few seconds, share only very slight head movements, not even look in each other's direction, and be committed to the death to a certain thing.

A woman and a man can be standing in the same room, the woman be aware of a million intricacies of the situation, and the man not find out about a single one.

This is not a cultural thing, it is not a collection of conventions, it is chemical.

[Pedro I Rengel]

This is also why women are so enthralled by weddings, and why men were so clever to come up with them.

What you are doing is presenting a present moment, punctuated by the pomp and the ceremony, that creates lifetime commitment as a circumstance of the surroundings instead of a decision.

A man doesn't need a ceremony, he just makes a decision in a moment and he is committed for life. This doesn't mean he isn't an asshole, or won't do all sorts of things to displease his woman, including by the way engaging in affairs with other women and even starting parallel families with them, often being just as married as with the first one. But the commitment, a decision, is real. Even after whatever the man might do, however many families he has, he will be heartbroken by losing the family, which is the same thing as the woman. In the case of a polygamist, by any given one. This is why, in reality, only women can leave men.

For a woman it's not a decision, it is a reality. That is the "trap." I believe the ceremonies of birds of paradise follow a similar logic. Creating an enthralling present that creates commitment as a reality, not a choice. A woman, however in love, and however much a decision has been discussed, can at any point, if the marriage ceases to exist as a simple fact of reality, just walk away. Consider a time when divorce was in the hands of men only. They were very rare. Only when divorce was put in the hands of women as well did it become a common occurrence.

A man can never leave his wife, in his heart, because the decision was made. Unless the decision wasn't made, and it was a trick, which happens.

[Peter Kropotkin]

just another kid babbling about things he has no idea about......

Kropotkin

[Pedro I Rengel]

I had a friend who used to say that if a woman was suddenly flooded with the amount of testosterone a man walks around with, she would go crazy and kill everything in the vicinity.

My friend possibly proved that this wasn't true to that exact extent. But, on the other hand, he had been practicing for years, mimicking the outward behaviors that reflected the inner mechanisms of men which have been developed for millions of years, and the treatment was gradual. I like to think that if they had just flooded him with the full amount straight away, he would have gone crazy.

[Pedro I Rengel]

This is also why men are so bad at doing nice things for a marriage, for their wives. In their minds, the decision was made, there is nothing left to do. But for a woman, the reality needs to be constantly recreated, the circumstances have to be upkept for the institution to be real. If she doesn't see it, it's not there.

These are just observations, based on chemistry.

Cultural traditions and social norms, far from creating these differences, are what make variance possible.

I am able to notice more than one thing at once. A woman is able to make a decision. We were each culturally trained, we read books, our fancy brains gave us options, subtleties.

[Pedro I Rengel]

Plus, obviously, there are more chemicals and hormones in the body than just testosterone. But this is one clear difference.

[obsrvr524]

This is not a cultural thing, it is not a collection of conventions, it is chemical.

And I think largely responsible for the survival of the species.

• That seemingly aggressive tunneled focus is what allows the male to pursue and acquire the prey - farsightedness - goal - construction oriented.
• The lack of it is what allows the female to be extra alert to her immediate dangers - nearsightedness - safety - cleanliness and beauty oriented.
• The combination of the two makes a superlative team - brutish offense and sensitive defense in harmony - reproducing.

[Pedro I Rengel]

But we must admit, it makes men a bit idiots, and women a bit flaky.

[Pedro I Rengel]

You will never hear a woman go "oh no what did I do, how did this happen?"

They don't feel regret.

They feel pain. Maybe more than men, probably more than men, but not regret.

Possibly guilt, I believe they feel guilt. But it is all the worse for them, because they feel guilt without regret. They don't feel they could have done otherwise. It is a kind of eternal condemnation.

[obsrvr524]

But we must admit, it makes men a bit idiots, and women a bit flaky.

I would never disagree with that - but nature does that in all creatures - so maybe there is something to it (much like why Mr Trump was exactly what was needed despite his oddities).

I think both males and females are idiots in their own way - and at times really genius in their own way. It has never been about who is superior - merely who is best suited for which purpose.

When they are combined into the same person - we get less of both (1+1 = 0.7).

[Pedro I Rengel]

Life is too fantastic to have a purpose.

[WendyDarling]

Life is too fantastic to have a purpose.

Love to contemplate this even though I need constant convincing that it’s okay to coast.

[Pedro I Rengel]

Hey, who's got the time?

[Pedro I Rengel]

Here's a philosophical question for ya: is it better to fuck up or do nothing?

[Berkley Babes]

Here's a philosophical question for ya: is it better to fuck up or do nothing?

do nothing.

In war time, it is better retreat three yards than advance an inch.

As to your OP, it might not be a chemical change in the person, just a regular change that you attributed to their sex change. People change over the course of their life time, just in general.

[Pedro I Rengel]

Here's a philosophical question for ya: is it better to fuck up or do nothing?

do nothing.

In war time, it is better retreat three yards than advance an inch.

As to your OP, it might not be a chemical change in the person, just a regular change that you attributed to their sex change. People change over the course of their life time, just in general.

Baby, I can tell you never met anyone went through testosterone treatment.

[Pedro I Rengel]

Also, if you asked them, they never changed their sex.

[Mr Reasonable]

Hey, who's got the time?

me

[Pedro I Rengel]

Oh, right, the drug dealer who wants bigger government because there's hateful people.

[Pedro I Rengel]

And is self-righteous about higher taxes that he doesn't plan to pay, unless he plans to voluntarily pay taxes on the drugs the government put him in jail for selling.

[Berkley Babes]

Here's a philosophical question for ya: is it better to fuck up or do nothing?

do nothing.

In war time, it is better retreat three yards than advance an inch.

As to your OP, it might not be a chemical change in the person, just a regular change that you attributed to their sex change. People change over the course of their life time, just in general.

Baby, I can tell you never met anyone went through testosterone treatment.

You're right, Pedro I Pretzel, I only knew a guy who cut off his own dick.

[Pedro I Rengel]

do nothing.

In war time, it is better retreat three yards than advance an inch.

As to your OP, it might not be a chemical change in the person, just a regular change that you attributed to their sex change. People change over the course of their life time, just in general.

Baby, I can tell you never met anyone went through testosterone treatment.

You're right, Pedro I Pretzel, I only knew a guy who cut off his own dick.

You know what, I doubt it, but it makes some kind of strange sense.

[Mr Reasonable]

And is self-righteous about higher taxes that he doesn't plan to pay, unless he plans to voluntarily pay taxes on the drugs the government put him in jail for selling.

I didn't go to prison.

[Pedro I Rengel]

Ah, my mistake then.

[Mr Reasonable]

its cool