Comedy

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Re: Comedy

Postby Meno_ » Fri Feb 28, 2020 3:54 am

Ultimate bad luck:

When the plane crashes into a sinking ship!


Ouch.
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Re: Comedy - intelligence

Postby Meno_ » Mon Mar 16, 2020 3:24 am

https://youtu.be/OcCRZkeqFY8

{Do You think ferrets are intelligent?}>>>>

Actually, ferrets are quite smart. It all depends on how you view a measure of intelligence. If you consider problem solving as intelligence, as many animal behaviorists do, then ferrets rank above cats and dogs, and into the range of small primates. ... Ferrets aren't dumb, they just do things differently.


{E5ven funnier & true sign of human intelligence } : >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><>>>>><>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>><<<<<><><><>>> :

Trump ‘offers large sums’ for exclusive access to coronavirus vaccine

German government tries to fight off aggressive takeover bid by US, say reports



The Trump administration has offered a German medical company “large sums of money” for exclusive access to a Covid-19 vaccine, German media have reported.

The German government is trying to fight off what it sees as an aggressive takeover bid by the US, the broadsheet Die Welt reports, citing German government circles.

The US president had offered the Tübingen-based biopharmaceutical company CureVac “large sums of money” to gain exclusive access to their work, wrote Die Wel

Show

According to an anonymous source quoted in the newspaper, Trump was doing everything to secure a vaccine against the coronavirus for the US, “but for the US only”.

The German government was reportedly offering its own financial incentives for the vaccine to stay in the country.

The German health minister Jens Spahn said that a takeover of the CureVac company by the Trump administration was “off the table”. CureVac would only develop vaccine “for the whole world”, Spahn said, “not for individual countries”.

Earlier, when approached about the report by the Guardian, the German health ministry would only confirm the accuracy of the quotes attributed to one of its spokespersons in the article.

“The federal government is very interested in vaccines and antiviral agents against the novel coronavirus being developed in Germany and Europe,” the spokesperson quoted in the original article had said. “In this regard the government is in an intensive exchange with the company CureVac.”

The German health ministry spokesperson declined the opportunity to correct any inaccuracies in Die Welt’s account.

With its headquarters in the south-western German city of Tübingen, CureVac also has sites in Frankfurt and Boston in the US. Linked with the German health ministry, it works closely with the Paul Ehrlich Institute, a research institution and medical regulatory body that is subordinate to the German health ministry.

On 11 March, CureVac released a statement that its CEO, the US citizen Daniel Menichella, was unexpectedly leaving the firm and would be replaced by the company’s founder, Ingmar Hoerr.

At the start of the month, Menichella was invited to the White House in Washington to discuss strategy for the rapid development and production of a coronavirus vaccine with Trump, the vice-president, Mike Pence, and members of the White House coronavirus task force.

The White House has been contacted for comment.



© 2020 Guardian News & Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved.
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Re: Comedy

Postby Meno_ » Wed Mar 18, 2020 2:24 am

{Translated from Hungarian}

American Medical Association
----------------------------
The American Medical Association has stated that it is for medical purposes
spending is not going in the right direction. In the last few years, well
a greater amount was spent on plastic surgery silicone
implants and Viagra as a cure for Alzheimer's disease
research.
As a result, it is estimated that by 2030 some 70 million people will be affected
running around the world with big boobs and erectile genitalia,
while not remembering what to do with them.

{Is there a loss from the translation?}
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Re: Comedy

Postby promethean75 » Tue Mar 24, 2020 11:46 pm

Finland just closed its borders. You know what that means. No one will be crossing the finish line.

What do you call panic-buying of sausage and cheese in Germany? The wurst kase scenario.

I ran out of toilet paper and had to start using old newspapers. Times are rough.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.father ... jokes/amp/
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Re: Comedy

Postby Tab » Wed Mar 25, 2020 6:28 am

Lol.

I saw a corona news article about how people could repurpose the corpses of once enthusiastic, but now dead farmers to remove the kitchen smells caused by cooking. It said they made great ex-tractor-fans.
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Re: Comedy

Postby Chakra Superstar » Mon Mar 30, 2020 1:24 pm

I asked the librarian if she had a book on Pavlov’s Dog and Schrodinger’s cat.
She said it rang a bell but wasn’t sure if it was there or not.
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Re: Comedy

Postby Chakra Superstar » Mon Mar 30, 2020 1:28 pm

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Re: Comedy

Postby promethean75 » Mon Mar 30, 2020 1:37 pm

asked the librarian if she had a book on Pavlov’s Dog and Schrodinger’s cat.
She said it rang a bell but wasn’t sure if it was there or not.


Ohhhhhhhhhh

(this guy's on fire)
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Re: Comedy

Postby Chakra Superstar » Sun Apr 05, 2020 11:16 am

A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. Now listen very, very, closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"
.
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Re: Comedy

Postby MagsJ » Sun Apr 05, 2020 11:53 am

Lololol
The possibility of anything we can imagine existing is endless and infinite.. - MagsJ

I haven't got the time to spend the time reading something that is telling me nothing, as I will never be able to get back that time, and I may need it for something at some point in time.. Wait, What! - MagsJ

You’re suggestions and I, just simply don’t mix.. like oil on water, or a really bad DJ - MagsJ
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Re: Comedy

Postby promethean75 » Wed Apr 08, 2020 12:17 am

professor sarty pants wrote:In circus world contexts, the top of the victim hierarchy heap would be an obese, black, transsexual, lesbian, single mother of ten female paraplegic who is also a midget, mentally retarded and missing her right arm, blind and deaf - and still a Jew would have victim superiority...
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Re: Comedy

Postby MagsJ » Fri Jun 12, 2020 6:49 pm

Heard on an ad for Blaze TV, just now..

“The truth is out there, just don’t go looking for it.“

Sounds ominous :shock:
The possibility of anything we can imagine existing is endless and infinite.. - MagsJ

I haven't got the time to spend the time reading something that is telling me nothing, as I will never be able to get back that time, and I may need it for something at some point in time.. Wait, What! - MagsJ

You’re suggestions and I, just simply don’t mix.. like oil on water, or a really bad DJ - MagsJ
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Re: Comedy

Postby MagsJ » Sat Jun 13, 2020 2:58 pm

Her to him: If you decide to join Pets, find me and buy me, then I’ll find you and buy you, then we can own each other..

Him to her: That’s hot..

Her to him: Hot people say hot things..

Him to her: True..
The possibility of anything we can imagine existing is endless and infinite.. - MagsJ

I haven't got the time to spend the time reading something that is telling me nothing, as I will never be able to get back that time, and I may need it for something at some point in time.. Wait, What! - MagsJ

You’re suggestions and I, just simply don’t mix.. like oil on water, or a really bad DJ - MagsJ
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Re: Comedy

Postby MagsJ » Mon Jun 15, 2020 2:15 pm

-
LMAO.. the Tik Tok dances to this vid are hilarious.

The possibility of anything we can imagine existing is endless and infinite.. - MagsJ

I haven't got the time to spend the time reading something that is telling me nothing, as I will never be able to get back that time, and I may need it for something at some point in time.. Wait, What! - MagsJ

You’re suggestions and I, just simply don’t mix.. like oil on water, or a really bad DJ - MagsJ
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Re: Comedy

Postby MagsJ » Mon Jun 15, 2020 11:04 pm

-
7EA6FB51-AFEA-4C2C-9AC6-5816918C0126.jpeg
7EA6FB51-AFEA-4C2C-9AC6-5816918C0126.jpeg (39.61 KiB) Viewed 1232 times
The possibility of anything we can imagine existing is endless and infinite.. - MagsJ

I haven't got the time to spend the time reading something that is telling me nothing, as I will never be able to get back that time, and I may need it for something at some point in time.. Wait, What! - MagsJ

You’re suggestions and I, just simply don’t mix.. like oil on water, or a really bad DJ - MagsJ
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That time of year again, America: 4th of July

Postby MagsJ » Sat Jul 04, 2020 2:51 pm

-
Image

Image

:lol:
The possibility of anything we can imagine existing is endless and infinite.. - MagsJ

I haven't got the time to spend the time reading something that is telling me nothing, as I will never be able to get back that time, and I may need it for something at some point in time.. Wait, What! - MagsJ

You’re suggestions and I, just simply don’t mix.. like oil on water, or a really bad DJ - MagsJ
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Re: Comedy

Postby promethean75 » Sun Jul 05, 2020 3:21 pm

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Re: Comedy

Postby MagsJ » Sun Jul 05, 2020 4:02 pm

That was funny :lol:

The thing about Caribbeans is.. we just say we’re Caribbean.. makes life a whole lot easier.. which suits our laidback demeanour, as a Carib ain’t got time for none of That.. hence the Jamaicans in that video identifying as Jamaican.

Black Caribbean.. me a Caribbean, seen
White Caribbean.. me Caribbean, ok
Chinese Caribbean.. me Caribbean, u nuh
Indian Caribbean.. when’s the roti ready?
Mixed Caribbean.. stop asking me stu-pidness! :lol:
The possibility of anything we can imagine existing is endless and infinite.. - MagsJ

I haven't got the time to spend the time reading something that is telling me nothing, as I will never be able to get back that time, and I may need it for something at some point in time.. Wait, What! - MagsJ

You’re suggestions and I, just simply don’t mix.. like oil on water, or a really bad DJ - MagsJ
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Re: Comedy

Postby promethean75 » Mon Jul 27, 2020 2:19 am

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Re: Comedy

Postby promethean75 » Sat Aug 08, 2020 2:50 pm

https://youtu.be/dtkJCSk-u0A

New sources say Russian bounty conspiracy result of a simple misunderstanding.
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Re: Comedy

Postby promethean75 » Sat Aug 08, 2020 3:30 pm

Trump admits to not knowing who Hydroxychloroquine is, despite what the fake news says.

https://youtu.be/VpGzW_HJ9N8
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Re: Comedy

Postby promethean75 » Sat Aug 08, 2020 3:45 pm

What's so brilliant about this guy is - aside from his physical ability to impersonate and sound like - how he is able to improvise the lines around the basic theme he has before hand. He knows the joke he has in mind before he starts, but he doesn't have a plan to deliver it; he not reading from script, in other words. So he's got to be able to carry us through at least two minutes on the fly while he sets up. This is difficult, but for him it's some of the richest moments of perfect impersonation. When he's having to think quickly he's able to almost instinctually intuit what trump would have said.... this is why he never fucks up and does it so well. These are the greatest comedians- the parodists - in my opinion.
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Re: Comedy

Postby promethean75 » Sat Aug 08, 2020 3:50 pm

The delicate and precise art of extracting behavioral nuance from extremely difficult places. The littlest things - a sudden dive in tonality, the brief pause, stuttering, use and resuse of signature words and phrases at the right time... etc.
Last edited by promethean75 on Sat Aug 08, 2020 3:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Comedy

Postby promethean75 » Sat Aug 08, 2020 3:51 pm

I wonder if impersonators have more mirror neurons.
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Re: Comedy

Postby promethean75 » Sat Aug 08, 2020 4:10 pm

https://vocaroo.com/5byXU96rmd7

My theory of the transdialogical reification and dissolution of the private self through the representative parody.
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