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#Me Too! - thoughts on the subject

PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2018 11:46 am
by Bob
There are a lot of people writing about the "me too" movement that encourages women to speak out about mistreatment in all sorts of environments, but especially sexual mistreatment in places of work.

This is an area in which I have always been careful to behave correctly, having been brought up by a mother who often gave up my bed to house unwed mothers and who installed in me an understanding that all people, men and women, black and white, should be respected. It also helps that I work in a typically women's vocation and have often been the only man on duty. Later, as I went into management, it was obvious that caution had to be taken and my behaviour had to be exemplary.

During this time there have been numerous female workmates who my wife has deemed as being "interested" and even "flaunting" in my presence. I have never been one to notice this, and so there were occasions when I disappointed the hopes that female workmates were having, and even scenes when I was accused by ladies in tears of "not seeing" what these ladies had done to attract me.

It all makes me wonder whether we all need some instruction about what happens to us when we reach puberty. It is as though our bodies are charged with feelings that move us in ways that we hadn't known until then and turns men into a gene-producing machine and women into selective mates, intent on contributing, or receiving the material with which the reproductive cycle sets into motion.

All our intelligence and thoughtfulness seems pushed aside when this happens, and we have to learn to cope with this, or face being young fathers or mothers to children we are not prepared for. Fortunately, we do have structures that do contain us to some degree, and we have standards of behaviour that often, even if not always, prevent the worst case happening when two people feel attracted to one another.

So far, so good. However, we are as a society in the process of weakening these structures and protection mechanisms. The constraints are often seen as too restrictive and "liberal" behaviour is accepted - in some cases expected by young people. They want to be free to live as they want, dress as they want, sleep with who they want and do what they want. But here is where "sexuality finds a way" and the biological processes are allowed to become unfettered for a short time, only to be put back in place when it is fitting.

The problem is that this doesn't always work. It is especially problematic, when young women do not realise how far a young man gone down the process and whether he has the ability to cease immediately at request. It can, of course, be expected from men that they are able to control themselves. The problem arises when the portrayal of women, with which some women make a living, suggests to young men that they will not have to control themselves and stop on request. It is here that the "No!" of a young woman can come too late.

In addition to this, I see a lot of young people who seem absolutely oblivious to the need for any kind of restraints and believe that the world is a garden of Eden and who are completely shocked when their family or neighbourhood disappoints this daydream.

Unfortunately, those who have promoted the structures and protection mechanisms in place, and perhaps even extended the measures to be taken "to be quite sure", have done a disservice by moralising the whole process. The so called "sexual revolution" was an attempt to break out of confined space, mostly the moral question, but it achieved instead promiscuity, which in turn brought numerous problems with it - among other, health problems. At the same time, there are still a huge number of women who have not won anything out of this "revolution", but in fact find themselves under more pressure than before. Hence the rise of the "Me too!" protest.

Disregarding who has the most blame for such behaviour, it is important for us to first of all know that this is the biological programming we all have. It is a fact of life that our minds have to come to terms with - and control. It isn't just the amount of abuse that occurs, but also the amount of dissatisfaction linked to the sex-lives of especially women. Our bodies are geared up to reproduce, but our minds should be in control of our bodies and say when.

Any thoughts?