why do people get married?

This is the main board for discussing philosophy - formal, informal and in between.

why do people get married?

Postby nomen nescio » Tue Jul 30, 2002 11:35 am

Apart from economic reasons. I can't figure it out. And religion mostly doesn't demand it. So how about some ideas from all of you.
nomen nescio
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Sun Jul 21, 2002 2:05 pm
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Postby Magius » Tue Jul 30, 2002 7:02 pm

Well from what I know. Marriage started out as a means to make the job of taking a concencus easier. As kingdoms grew so did the population and it became harder and harder to keep count of all the inhabitants. So, whenever a couple had a baby they would be told that they must get married according to God. So they did. But into the institution of marriage was the marriage contract which had to be filed at the castle. So that, it was now upto the people to do all the work instead of the concensus takers. (Can you imagine we have to pay for a marriage certificate now! Does this boggle anyone elses mind?) The concencus takers still had lots to do, but this made their job easier. Throughout the early medieval times many people were against this contract and didn't see a point to it, since nowhere in the bible does it say that people must get married. So the government at the time instilled the concept of marriage as a celebration of love.
But I don't think that is exactly what you were looking for as an answer, so I will attempt to answer. I think it is from not wishing to be apart from the norm. Since, everyone's parents are or were married. It's only naturally fitting to do the same. It is even used by some as a societal stance and position. I know one girl who was engaged only because she was so bored and had such a lack of other options, that she almost got married to a guy for just that. Some others just want others to accept them and see them as something that really..they are not.
Worst of all, some do it for attention. A party, their the center of attention, the presents, the planning, etc. etc.

What's your take?
User avatar
Magius
Magnanimous
 
Posts: 1489
Joined: Fri Jun 07, 2002 7:08 am
Location: Ontario, Canada

Postby anima » Tue Jul 30, 2002 7:37 pm

Marriage has lost its true meaning. Too many think that just because you say "i do", your married. Maybe in a legal sense. But marriage is more than a legal agreement. It is a personal commitment. A bonding of souls. You are not just marrying the one you love - you are agreeing to love the one you marry.

Something like 2 in 3 marriages end in divorce these days. But, you are even *less* likely to remain together if you don't go through the vows and legal and ceremonial stuff. Might as well do what you can to improve the odds.
anima
 
Posts: 15
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2002 6:02 pm
Location: VA

Postby Brad » Wed Jul 31, 2002 3:40 am

It is a personal commitment. A bonding of souls. You are not just marrying the one you love - you are agreeing to love the one you marry.


Well said.
Brad
 
Posts: 445
Joined: Sat Jul 20, 2002 4:18 pm
Location: Chejudo, South Korea

Postby nomen nescio » Thu Aug 01, 2002 1:05 am

But I don't think that is exactly what you were looking for as an answer

Heh, but it's good to hear of it. No-one who is married that I know of, has stopped to think of how it started, or it's significance.

Yeah I disagree with people who get married for the sake of fulfilling some subconscious want of theirs. I think that whatever you do in life, needs to have clarity and sincerity of purpose, or else be a candidate for failure.

You are not just marrying the one you love - you are agreeing to love the one you marry

Yes, beautiful! I'll keep this one in memory. This is the line which explains why arranged marriages still work out well.

I read this article from a spiritually pointed view. It said that our time on earth is to evolve spiritually. And that the partnership of marriage was an agreement to take responsibility for the other person's evolution. To go out and search out their own individuality, but still have a base camp to return to. It was a contract between 2 people to share in duty and responsibility, and to share in spiritual growth.

I like this kind of definition a lot more because it proposes an active sense of duty, rather than 'just get married' and be in the state of marriage.

Still I feel that my understanding is still insufficient. Any more ideas?
nomen nescio
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Sun Jul 21, 2002 2:05 pm
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Postby Magius » Thu Aug 01, 2002 1:54 am

For the reasons listed above by me, is why I plan never to get married. Although, this is not a closed debate for me, since I would be willing to get married if the woman I marry really wanted to, especially if she is religious. I am not religious, atleast not to any religion out there but my own. But, if the woman I love is religious, I can respect that and marry her. Since I will always know that I love her from my heart and not because of a ceremony. For me love is something that happens in the heart and not exterior of the person or on some paper. Therefore, I think I will be content if not happy to spend the rest of my life with a woman whom I am not married to, but stay with her because of the power of love. Should it not work out, we haven't made any promises, nor have we lied to each other or ourselves. I wonder if people ever truly ponder the significance of the words that are said when one gets married. Getting married is a celebration for God, I do not believe in God, hence I do not need to prove my love to anyone but myself and the one I love.

What's your take?
User avatar
Magius
Magnanimous
 
Posts: 1489
Joined: Fri Jun 07, 2002 7:08 am
Location: Ontario, Canada

Postby nomen nescio » Thu Aug 01, 2002 2:06 am

Yes, I agree. Love and marriage are not just a state of physical activity or object, but a state of attitude. As long as you have the attitude, then there really isn't much incentive to get married. Unless of course, you want an excuse for a party.

I wonder if people ever truly ponder the significance of the words that are said when one gets married

1/3 of marriages fail in Aus. Maybe that's your answer.
The only real security in life, is to totally accept the insecurity of life.
nomen nescio
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Sun Jul 21, 2002 2:05 pm
Location: Melbourne, Australia

maimed

Postby maimed » Thu Aug 01, 2002 4:15 am

following in their parents footsteps, its the only path in life thew know
maimed
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Aug 01, 2002 4:11 am

Postby maimed » Thu Aug 01, 2002 4:16 am

following in their parents footsteps, its the only path in life thew know
maimed
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Aug 01, 2002 4:11 am

Postby locke_key » Thu Aug 01, 2002 11:11 pm

You are not just marrying the one you love - you are agreeing to love the one you marry


thats commitment. don't we feel the need to belong? it isnt even something we actually think about most of the time, we just do it. sociologically, marriage is the forming of or addition to a " family group." we do a similar thing when choosing friends...
"Eagles soar, but a weasel never gets sucked into a jet engine" -Lady Hedgehog
User avatar
locke_key
 
Posts: 66
Joined: Sun Jul 28, 2002 9:11 pm
Location: Cheese Wedge


Return to Philosophy



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

cron