a thread for mundane ironists

[b]Robert Musil

That the will of the people can be established by voting for democrats is, of course, a delusion. Yet when considering a non-threatening system for deciding between diverse interests, then voting, of course, can be regarded as a humane and civilized process.[/b]

So, what do you think, close enough?

A man who wants the truth becomes a scientist; a man who wants to give free play to his subjectivity may become a writer; but what should a man do who wants something in between?

A context, right?

The thought came to me that all one loves in art becomes beautiful. Beauty is nothing but the expression of the fact that something is being loved.

Not much that doesn’t explain.
Unfortunately?

…love must be regarded as one of the religious and dangerous experiences, because it lifts people out of the arms of reason and sets them afloat with no ground under their feet.

Hate too.
I know: like that will ever stop them.

Don’t you know that every perfect life would be the end of art?

Not counting Norman Rockwell of course.
Or Bob Ross?

And since the possession of qualities presupposes that one takes a certain pleasure in their reality, all this gives us a glimpse of how it may all of a sudden happen to someone who cannot summon up any sense of reality — even in relation to himself — that one day he appears to himself as a man without qualities.

I know what you’re thinking: me.

[b]Heath Ledger

Some people just wanna see the world burn.[/b]

Yo, Joker!

I love acting. Oh, God, I love it. But all this fame and all this bullshit attention. I’m not supernatural. I’ve done nothing extremely special to deserve the position. It happens every couple of years, and it’s happened to hundreds of people before me.

Happen to anyone here?

In the birthing process, you come out just realizing how stupid and weak men are! I mean, I might as well not have been in there, we’re useless!

I actually think I know what he means.

Do I really look like a guy with a plan?

Now in particular.

Want know how I got these scars? My father was a drinker and a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn’t like that. Not one bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. He turns to me, and he says, ‘why so serious?’ He comes at me with the knife. ‘Why so serious?!’. He sticks the blade in my mouth. ‘Let’s put a smile on that face!’

You tell me.

I’m born to be a father. And I’ve been looking forward to this all my life.

In a word: dope.

[b]Werner Hertzog

Economics, as we all know, is important for justifying the suffering of others.[/b]

Objectively as it were.

The Loch Ness monster is real, but the truth is that he is very tiny.

Next up: the scoop on Big Foot.

Charlotte’s Web is, of course, about the life of the artist: you write for pigs and simpletons, then die alone in an abandoned fairground.

I knew it!

I waited to see “Hamilton” until it was merely passé to do so, and now it is too late. So I shall watch “1776.”

Mama, look sharp.

It is important,
To tell the young,
They can be
Anything they can dream,
So that, one day,
They’ll blame themselves,
Instead of the system.

Among other things, fuck that, he thought.

Statues of J.K. Rowling to be torn down before they are built.

It’s about time.

[b]John Cage

Every something is an echo of nothing[/b]

If only [intellectually] in places like this.

We need not destroy the past. It is gone.

Oh, sure it is.

It is not irritating to be where one is. It is only irritating to think one would like to be somewhere else.

Among other things, duh?

I like being moved. I don’t like being pushed.

Wow, she wondered, why didn’t I think of that?

After I had been studying with him for two years, Schoenberg said, ‘In order to write music, you must have a feeling for harmony.’ I explained to him that I had no feeling for harmony. He then said that I would always encounter an obstacle, that it would be as though I came to a wall through which I could not pass. I said, ‘In that case I will devote my life to beating my head against that wall.’

Must be a technical thing, right?

People who aren’t artists often feel that artists are inspired. But if you work at your art you don’t have time to be inspired.

Must be a technical thing, right?

[b]Terry Eagleton

Any attempt to define literary theory in terms of a distinctive method is doomed to failure.[/b]

Of course we know better, don’t we? Or, rather, some of us do.

Reading a text is more like tracing this process of constant flickering than it is like counting the beads on a necklace.

And reading a post?

The British are supposed to be particularly averse to intellectuals, a prejudice closely bound up with their dislike of foreigners. Indeed, one important source of this Anglo-Saxon distaste for highbrows and eggheads was the French revolution, which was seen as an attempt to reconstruct society on the basis of abstract rational principles.

Just not the ones here, he suspected.

History works itself out by an inevitable internal logic.

And then written by the winners, of course.

In the deep night of metaphysics, all cats look black.

Dogs too.

Scratch a schoolboy and you find a savage.

Or a Homie?

[b]Existential Comics

People in England must just wake up every day and thank god that America exists, which continually saves them from being the dumbest country on earth.[/b]

Can any Brits here confirm this?

British novel: what if I didn’t follow society’s strict conventions perfectly?
French novel: what if I didn’t follow society’s strict conventions at all?
Russian novel: what if I didn’t follow society’s strict conventions such as “don’t murder people”?

American novel: :laughing:

nerds really need to understand that liking science fiction doesn’t automatically make you smarter than people who like sports

Now that’s bullshit.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but owning things isn’t a job.

On the other hand, “you’re fired”.

A libertarian is someone who thinks society will be better if the cops report directly to the billionaire elites, without the pretense of an elected official to oversee them.

What, they don’t now?

I just finished writing a comic about Hegel and for a second I got worried that it was too mean spirited and the Hegel nerds would be upset by it, but then I remembered who cares.

Try that with Nietzsche.

[b]Delia Owens

Leaning on someone leaves you on the ground.[/b]

With them on top of you. As likely as not.

In nature—out yonder where the crawdads sing—these ruthless-seeming behaviors actually increase the mother’s number of young over her lifetime, and thus her genes for abandoning offspring in times of stress are passed on to the next generation. And on and on. It happens in humans, too. Some behaviors that seem harsh to us now ensured the survival of early man in whatever swamp he was in at the time. Without them, we wouldn’t be here. We still store those instincts in our genes, and they express themselves when certain circumstances prevail. Some parts of us will always be what we were, what we had to be to survive—way back yonder.

You know, vaguely.

Slowly, she unraveled each word of the sentence: ‘There are some who can live without wild things, and some who cannot.’

And some will hunt them to extinction.

Death’s crude pluck, as always, stealing the show.

Then this part: youtu.be/ilGahIwQEQ0

She knew Pa was the reason they all left; what she wondered was why no one took her with them.

Or, every once in a while, Ma.

There are sounds, of course, but compared to the marsh, the swamp is quiet because decomposition is cellular work.

Naturally as it were.

[b]Karl Kraus

Sentimental irony is a dog that bays at the moon while pissing on graves. [/b]

And not just pit bulls.

Someone who can write aphorisms should not fritter away his time in essays.

Well, with a few exceptions of course.

One cannot dictate an aphorism to a typist. It would take too long.

Where the hell is he going with this?

A great deal of learning can be packed into an empty head.

Okay, but how about one with, uh, a “condition”? :wink:

Morality is a venereal disease. Its primary stage is called virtue; its secondary stage, boredom; its tertiary stage, syphilis.

Actually, I wouldn’t go that far.

War is, at first, the hope that one will be better off; next, the expectation that the other fellow will be worse off; then, the satisfaction that he isn’t any better off; and, finally, the surprise at everyone’s being worse off.

Excepting the military industrial complex of course.

[b]God

I should probably wrap this up.[/b]

Let’s counsel Him.

Want to know what true racism is? Enslaving millions of black people for hundreds of years, then oppressing them through terror, lynching, legislation and explicit and implicit cultural, legal and societal discrimination for another 150, leaving them second-class citizens. No?

Of course God’s a leftist!

Remember: for every one human being who’s horrible, there are five who are merely deeply flawed.

Here? Double it. At least.

Great. Now you’ve opened a wormhole in spacetime that will suck all reality into its antimatter counterpart in a negative universe. Nice job, Kayleigh. Nice job.

A little help with this one, please.

I made you in My image and I’m an asshole.

Anyone here still doubt that?

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.”
A man who owned 600 other men.

And, of course, Sally.

[b]Heinrich Heine

Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid.[/b]

That’s a “condition” too though, right? :wink:

Every period of time is a sphinx that throws itself into the abyss as soon as its riddle has been solved.

And I’ve clearly solved our own, right? :sunglasses:

If you wish to strive for peace of soul and pleasure, then believe.

See, I told you. And what you believe can be, well, anything.

God will forgive me. It’s his job.

How about me, he wondered.

Silence can be defined as conversation with an Englishman.

You tell me.

Christ rode on an ass, but now asses ride on Christ.

And we’ve got a few of them here, he suggested.

[b]Robin Wright

It’s what still excites me most about acting: letting your imagination go places it’s never been before. There’s nothing better than that.[/b]

Lots of actors here too.
Right?

I want to be perfect. I don’t want to fail. And you always fail.

Must be an acting thing.

Everybody fucking does it. I suppose I can’t say ‘everybody’ because I don’t know for sure, but come on…It’s just the tiniest sprinkle of Botox twice a year. I think most women do 10 units, but that freezes the face and you can’t move it. This is just one unit, and it’s just sprinkled here and there to take the edge off…

Hollywood!

My favorite designers are Levi Strauss and Fruit of the Loom.

Not on the red carpet of course.

I have such a little face.

Little other things too.

I could not understand why Meryl Streep, for example, is allowed to work while pregnant and I’m not.

Let’s find out.

[b]God

If you think wearing a mask intrudes on your rights, wait till the fever intrudes on your body, the fluid intrudes on your air sacs, the failure intrudes on your organs and the end intrudes on your life.[/b]

They don’t call Him God for nothing.

Reality is a hoax.

How comforting, he thought. Or not of course.

2020. Six months down. Three to go.

Well, it is a leap year.

I’ll stop cursing in My tweets when you stop being so fucking stupid.

Don’t hold your breath, Kid.

Love Me or I’ll kill you.

Yo, Pascal!

I was never briefed about coronavirus.

Let alone in the Oval Office.

[b]Martha Graham

Our arms start from the back because they were once wings.[/b]

Sure, why not.

The body says what words cannot.

Gasp!

Dance is communication, and so the great challenge is to speak clearly, beautifully and with inevitability.

You know, like philosophy. :wink:

Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance. Great dancers are great because of their passion.

Anyone here actually believe that?

The main thing, of course, always, is the fact that there is only one of you in the world, just one, and if that is not fulfilled then something has been lost. Ambition is not enough; necessity is everything.

Anyone here actually believe that?

Freedom to a dancer means discipline.

A strange way to put it, he thought.

[b]Stefan Zweig

Life is futile unless it be directed towards a definite goal. [/b]

Not much that can’t be nowadays.

The strength of a love is always misjudged if we evaluate it by its immediate cause and not the stress that went before it, the dark and hollow space full of disappointment and loneliness that precedes all the great events in the heart’s history.

Or, sure, just skip that part.

How terrible this darkness was, how bewildering, and yet mysteriously beautiful!

Let’s trade experiences.

There’s an inherent limit to the stress that any material can bear. Water has its boiling point, metals their melting points. The elements of the spirit behave the same way. Happiness can reach a pitch so great that any further happiness can’t be felt. Pain, despair, humiliation, disgust, and fear are no different. Once the vessel is full, the world can’t add to it.

Preposterous, isn’t it?

In this instant, shaken to her very depths, this ecstatic human being has a first inkling that the soul is made of stuff so mysteriously elastic that a single event can make it big enough to contain the infinite.

Really preposterous, isn’t it?

The dressmaker doesn’t have problems unless the dress has to hide rather than reveal.

The philosopher too. Well, on occasions.

[b]Eva Green

Life’s too short to wear high heels.[/b]

Never wore them myself.

I don’t wear base, as I don’t like to cover up my freckles, but I couldn’t live without YSL Touche Eclat for hiding my under-eye circles. I love the smoky-eye look, so I use Dior’s 5-Colour Eyeshadow in Night Dust and lashings of mascara. I finish with a dash of bronzer for a healthy glow.

Sure, I’ll let this slide. See The Dreamers for example: youtu.be/YU1brBVMBkM

At drama school, I always picked the really evil roles. It’s a great way to deal with your everyday emotions.

I knew she’d say that.

People think I’m so strong, but I’m very shy.

I hoped she’d say that.

I was very studious, too much. I would never go out at weekends. I was very serious.

That and drop dead gorgeous.

In this business actors who have Botox or surgery make you very aware of age. It’s awful.

No need when you’re acting here thank god.

Haha!

Crushing on Eva Green, I see. : )

You bet.

On the other hand, she still doesn’t know that I exist. #-o

An Indian guy called me a prat and a coconut, earlier, because I told him that posting a porn video in a political messaging group should be kept private and not shared… I wish he didn’t know that I existed. :neutral_face:

It seems that life and people, test some more than others.

[b]tiny nietzsche

sext: ready player one[/b]

Inevitable, wasn’t it?

hold your horses gently

Missed the point, didn’t he?

don’t talk to me before I exist

Or, for that matter, after.

me: it hurts when I paint
doktor: abstract expressionism?
me: no, my arm

Or both as likely as not.

I like my coffee like I like my mornings, cold and dark

That and a stack of pancakes.

give up in aisle three

If not the whole goddamn store.

[b]Mikhail Baryshnikov

When a body moves, it’s the most revealing thing. Dance for me a minute, and I’ll tell you who you are. [/b]

So, what’s the equivalent of that here?

I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself.

So, what’s the equivalent of that here?

No one is born a dancer. You have to want it more than anything.

Nope, never did.

I found that dance, music, and literature is how I made sense of the world… it pushed me to think of things bigger than lifes daily routines… to think beyond what is immediate or convenient.

Well, music and literature anyway.

No dancer can watch Fred Astaire and not know that we all should have been in another business.

He’s that good, eh?

Dance is an ephemeral, a fleeting art. To describe this momentum, every movement on stage, in words is virtually impossible.

What here we call virtually improbable.