a thread for mundane ironists

[b]Jenny Offill

What Kafka said: I write to close my eyes.[/b]

Next up: I read to close my eyes.

The invention of the ship is also the invention of the shipwreck.

Next up: the invention of life.

The Buddhists say that wisdom may be attained by reaching the three marks. The first is an understanding of the absence of self. The second is an understanding of the impermanence of all things. The third is an understanding of the unsatisfactory nature of ordinary experience.

Not counting Nirvana perhaps.

There are thousands and thousands of deer here. Soon it will be hunting season. At least most people who hunt up here hunt for food, not sport, she says. I watch them bound away as we turn down her dirt road. Why don’t they farm deer? I wonder. Is it because they are too pretty? She shakes her head. It’s because they panic when penned.

Well, that and being pretty.

An Arabic proverb: One insect is enough to fell a country. A Japanese proverb: Even an insect one-tenth of an inch long has five-tenths of a soul.

The first one sure.

Life equals structure plus activity.

But then you still die.

[b]Max Born

It is true that many scientists are not philosophically minded and have hitherto shown much skill and ingenuity but little wisdom. [/b]

Of course we know better.
Or, rather, some of us do.

Science is so greatly opposed to history and tradition that it cannot be absorbed by our civilization.

The Trumpworlds in particular.

The difficulty involved in the proper and adequate means of describing changes in continuous deformable bodies is the method of differential equations. … They express mathematically the physical concept of contiguous action.

You’re probably wondering where dasein fits in here.

The human race has today the means for annihilating itself–either in a fit of complete lunacy, i.e., in a big war…or by the careless handling of atomic technology, through a slow process of poisoning and of deterioration in its genetic structure.

Of course that’s still too close to call.

But in practical affairs, particularly in politics, men are needed who combine human experience and interest in human relations with a knowledge of science and technology.

Yo, Donald!

To present a scientific subject in an attractive and stimulating manner is an artistic task, similar to that of a novelist or even a dramatic writer. The same holds for writing textbooks.

Pick one:
____Popularizing science
____Dumbing science down

[b]Werner Twertzog

This is not an extinction event for the human species. But it is, likely, the end of the existing global order, and, for that reason, to be accepted with stoicism and resolution to build something new. Hope resides, primarily, in the promise of change, as we all know.[/b]

Of course he’s just paraphrasing Joker.

Anarchy will arrive in 20 days, I am told. Cannibalism in 50.

Of course he’s just paraphrasing Joker.

Death, as we all know, is a Democrat hoax.

Anyone here still not know this?

Do not waste your time attacking celebrities. They are self-important and deluded, but they are not the real puppet masters.

Unless of course they become President.

Dear America: how does it feel to be inside a Ken Burns documentary. Again.

We know it’s coming.

I shall tweet until the last light goes out, as we all know.

Or, here, post.

[b]Carl Friedrich Gauss

Mathematics is the queen of sciences and number theory is the queen of mathematics. She often condescends to render service to astronomy and other natural sciences, but in all relations she is entitled to the first rank. [/b]

So, does this add up?

Theory attracts practice as the magnet attracts iron.

Not here though. Or, rather, not for those who wallow in “general description intellectual contraptions”.

You have no idea how much poetry there is in the calculation of a table of logarithms!

No, I don’t. Why? Just lucky I guess.

There have been only three epoch-making mathematicians, Archimedes, Newton, and Eisenstein.

Then why do they call it “the Fields Medal”?

If others would but reflect on mathematical truths as deeply and as continuously as I have, they would make my discoveries.

Or, here, me, mine.

I have had my results for a long time: but I do not yet know how I am to arrive at them.

Touche, he thought.

[b]Guy de Maupassan

It is not difficult to pass for being learned. The secret is not to betray your ignorance.[/b]

It’s time: Let’s name names.

The essence of life is the smile of round female bottoms, under the shadow of cosmic boredom.

My God, he’s got it!

How fathomless the mystery of the Unseen is!

Next up: how deadly.

Everything I see reminds me that in a few days I shall no longer see it…It’s horrible…I shall see nothing more… nothing of what exists.

Like you, I’m working on it. Or it’s working on me.

After all, life is never so jolly or so miserable as people seem to think.

My guess: jolly is no longer an option at all for many.

Every authentically loved being is a kind of god.

Next up: authentically hated beings.

[b]Werner Twertzog

Remember when our daily lives were not shadowed by the omnipresent fear of death?
Me neither.[/b]

And neither me too.

No, life is not “like a box of chocolates.” You know exactly what you are going to get: death.

Another fucking optimist!

Hieronymous Bosch. Stupid optimist.

Let’s explain this.

Never forget that nothing will be remembered.

At last, some good news.

On the other hand, many of us yearned for the end of this vile and debased civilization.

Trust me: none more so than Joker.
And, sure, occasionally, me.

If you have a film idea that is “begging to be made,” go and rob a bank, sell your blood, steal a camera, overthrow a small nation, but stop asking me for money, losers.

A bit harsh but, okay, point taken.

[b]Primo Levi

A country is considered the more civilised the more the wisdom and efficiency of its laws hinder a weak man from becoming too weak and a powerful one too powerful.[/b]

And then there’s Trumpworld.

This cell belongs to a brain, and it is my brain, the brain of me who is writing; and the cell in question, and within it the atom in question, is in charge of my writing, in a gigantic minuscule game which nobody has yet described. It is that which at this instant, issuing out of a labyrinthine tangle of yeses and nos, makes my hand run along a certain path on the paper, mark it with these volutes that are signs: a double snap, up and down, between two levels of energy, guides this hand of mine to impress on the paper this dot, here, this one.

Of course your cell might be different.

Our ignorance allowed us to live, as you are in the mountains, and your rope is frayed and about to break, but you don’t know it and feel safe.

Or, sure, you are not in the mountains.

If it is true that there is no greater sorrow than to remember a happy time in a state of misery, it is just as true that calling up a moment of anguish in a tranquil mood, seated quietly at one’s desk, is a source of profound satisfaction.

In other words, maybe.

We must be listened to: above and beyond our personal experience, we have collectively witnessed a fundamental unexpected event, fundamental precisely because unexpected, not foreseen by anyone. It happened, therefore it can happen again: this is the core of what we have to say. It can happen, and it can happen everywhere.

Here and now, we may well be living through another rendition of that.

[b]Logic and morality made it impossible to accept an illogical and immoral reality; they engendered a rejection of reality which as a rule led the cultivated man rapidly to despair. But the varieties of the man-animal are innumerable, and I saw and have described men of refined culture, especially if young, throw all this overboard, simplify and barbarize themselves, and survive. A simple man, accustomed not to ask questions of himself, was beyond the reach of the useless torment of asking himself why.

The harsher the oppression, the more widespread among the oppressed is the willingness, with all its infinite nuances and motivations, to collaborate: terror, ideological seduction, servile imitation of the victor, myopic desire for any power whatsoever… Certainly, the greatest responsibility lies with the system, the very structure of the totalitarian state; the concurrent guilt on the part of individual big and small collaborators is always difficult to evaluate… they are the vectors and instruments of the system’s guilt… the room for choices (especially moral choices) was reduced to zero.[/b]

See, I told you.

[b]Erwin Schrodinger

Science cannot tell us a word about why music delights us, of why and how an old song can move us to tears. [/b]

Not that science wants to. But point taken.

Plato was the first to envisage the idea of timeless existence and to emphasize it-against reason-as a reality, more [real] than our actual experience.

Three words:
In.
His.
Head.

Why are atoms so small? … Many examples have been devised to bring this fact home to an audience, none of them more impressive than the one used by Lord Kelvin: Suppose that you could mark the molecules in a glass of water, then pour the contents of the glass into the ocean and stir the latter thoroughly so as to distribute the marked molecules uniformly throughout the seven seas; if you then took a glass of water anywhere out of the ocean, you would find in it about a hundred of your marked molecules.

Okay, sure: Wow!

An animal that embarks on forming states without greatly restricting egoism will perish.

Let’s file this one [too] under, “it’s so deep it’s meaningless”.

If you cannot - in the long run - tell everyone what you have been doing, your doing has been worthless.

On the other hand, what are we doing?

The sensation of colour cannot be accounted for by the physicist’s objective picture of light-waves.

As God intended of course.
One of them.

[b]Werner Twertzog

What makes you think you will be good enough to be kept alive as food, anyway?[/b]

Really, how far are we now from that?

What skills do you bring to a post-apocalyptic wasteland?

My signature threads?

U.S. luxury brand stores boarding up in anticipation of a more equal society.

You know, in a parallel universe.

On the bright side, many of us hated our jobs.

Of course the bills still do need to be paid.

We are all students in Trump University now.

:astonished: :open_mouth: :astonished: :open_mouth: :astonished: :open_mouth: :astonished: :open_mouth: :astonished: :open_mouth: :astonished: :open_mouth: :astonished: :open_mouth: :astonished: :open_mouth: :astonished: :open_mouth: :astonished: :open_mouth: :astonished: :open_mouth: :astonished: :open_mouth: :astonished: :open_mouth: :astonished: :open_mouth: :astonished: :open_mouth: :astonished: :open_mouth: :astonished: :open_mouth: :astonished: :open_mouth:

Dear American progressives: Stop saying “This is not who we are.” You are lying, as we all know.

Fucking idealists, right?

[b]Lily King

The hardest thing about writing is getting in every day, breaking through the membrane.The second-hardest thing is getting out. Sometimes I sink down too deep and come up too fast. Afterward I feel wide open and skinless. The whole world feels moist and pliable.[/b]

On the other hand, writing what?

For long stretches of time it felt like we were crawling around each other’s brain.

Sort of what we do here. Either this or anything but that.

She stared at me and nodded into the silence between us, as if I were still talking and making perfect sense.

Silence. Clearly that’s what we need more of here.

Who can explain why a few words in a particular tone can clear acres of sudden unfamiliarity?

That ever actually happen to you?

Because death is not tragic to them, not in the way it is to us, I said.
They mourn. They feel sorrow, great sorrow. But it isn’t tragic?
No, it isn’t. They know their ancestors have a plan for them. There’s no sense that it was wrong. Tragedy is based on this sense that there’s been a terrible mistake, isn’t it?

For some us, having been born.

But he did not believe ordinary citizens created art. True art was anomalous; it was a rare mutation. It didn’t happen simply because one willed it so. He thought it an utter and exasperating waste of an ordinary man’s time.

What’s that make philosophy then?

[b]Asger Jorn

We are not disillusioned because we have no illusions… What we have and what is our strength, is our joy in life… in all its amoral aspects. That is also the basis of our contemporary art. [/b]

That can’t be good. For the rest of us I mean.

We are not talking about a new cognition in relation to abstract art, rather a new area of cognition.

Abstract art, abstract explanation.

Anything really new is repulsive, because it is abnormal and unreasonable.

For example, me here.

True realism, materialist realism lies in the search for the expression of forms faithful to their content. But there is no content detached from human interest.

Oh how he Ioathed pretentious gibberish such as this. He probably being me.

Being an artist is being an isolated individual.

On the other hand [so far] not by definition.

This is what aesthetics, development and progress depend upon: that we go out on thin ice.

Is the ice thin enough for you now?

[b]Existential Comics

I know we are all supposed to be on lockdown, but I’m not going to let the virus stop me from doing what I want and living my life. Because luckily for me the only thing I’ve ever wanted is to drink whiskey alone in my house and not be bothered by anyone, so I’m good.[/b]

Truth be told, he thought, I’m not far from that myself.

The fact that the rich are currently like “let them die, or our stocks might go down!” really makes you wonder why philosophers ever even put so much effort into working out intricate and subtle ethical questions, when the ruling class clearly couldn’t give a shit.

See, I told you.

What the liberal establishment can’t seem to grasp is there are real problems with the way the world is organized, and not just “we need to be more civil”. If they continue to refuse to give solutions to the material problems of life, fascists will be more than happy give theirs.

And the conservative establishment?

It’s really incredible how the very same people who willfully ignored the pandemic for months while China implemented the biggest quarantine in history and pleaded for other countries to take it as serious as them are now saying China somehow tricked them into not being prepared.

Right, like the Chinese government is the hero here!

[b]Rent is theft.
Profit is theft.
Interest is theft.

Look, it isn’t complicated. If you are making money that didn’t come from your own labor, then it is coming from someone else’s labor. You are stealing their money.[/b]

And he means that objectively.

Imagine being a police officer and forcibly evicting someone from their apartment during a pandemic and economic collapse and still thinking you “protect and serve” people and not property.

That’s how it works alright.

[b]Edvard Munch

From my rotting body, flowers shall grow and I am in them and that is eternity. [/b]

You know, if that works for you.

There is a battle that goes on between men and women. Many people call it love.

The fools!

I was walking along a path with two friends - the sun was setting - suddenly the sky turned blood red - I paused, feeling exhausted, and leaned on the fence - there was blood and tongues of fire above the blue-black fjord and the city - my friends walked on, and I stood there trembling with anxiety - and I sensed an infinite scream passing through nature.

As good an explanation as any, right?

No longer shall I paint interiors with men reading and women knitting. I will paint living people who breathe and feel and suffer and love.

Would that perhaps work here as well?

My fear of life is necessary to me, as is my illness. Without anxiety and illness, I am a ship without a rudder. My art is grounded in reflections over being different from others. My sufferings are part of my self and my art. They are indistinguishable from me, and their destruction would destroy my art. I want to keep those sufferings.

Of course he’s just paraphrasing me.

Art comes from joy and pain…But mostly from pain.

Next up: what philosophy comes from.

[b]John Updike

You do things and do things and nobody really has a clue. [/b]

Or there abouts.

Our lives fade behind us before we die.

Actually, I’m giving mine a shove.

The great thing about the dead, they make space.

Three cheers for the coronavirus?

All men are mortal, and therefore all men are losers…

Philosophical to a fault let’s say.

Fraud makes the world go round.

On the other hand, at least something does.

How circumstantial reality is!

See, I told you.

[b]Doth

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever pulled an old book off a bookcase, opened a secret door & were never seen again.[/b]

Spot the non sequitur yet?

Take a moment to apologize to your body for your brain’s bullshit.

Like that will actually work.

Remember, you can disappear into an overgrown forest whenever you want. You’re an adult.

Well, in Baltimore you can’t.

Our president is a gigantic piece of shit.

Next up: your president.

I can’t stop binge watching the fall of human society.

Yo, Joker!

If a stranger comes within 6 feet of you legally you can unhinge your jaw & release a plague of locusts.

Is that on Youtube yet?

[b]Douglas Adams

She tried to worry that something terrible had happened to him, but didn’t believe it for a moment. Nothing terrible ever happened to him, though she was beginning to think that it was time it damn well did. If nothing terrible happened to him soon maybe she’d do it herself. Now there was an idea.[/b]

You do get this, right?

[b]Thank you. Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt the leaf as legal tender, we have, of course, all become immensely rich.

But we have also, continued the management consultant, run into a small inflation problem on account of the high level of leaf availability, which means that, I gather, the current going rate has something like three deciduous forests buying on ship’s peanut.

So in order to obviate this problem, he continued, and effectively revalue the leaf, we are about to embark on a massive defoliation campaign, and…er, burn down all the forests. I think you’ll all agree that’s a sensible move under the circumstances.[/b]

Let’s connect the dots between this and the coronavirus.

Deep in the fundamental heart of mind and Universe there is a reason.

Really, really, really, really, really deep, one suspects.

Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses have been specially designed to help people develop a relaxed attitude to danger. At the first hint of trouble, they turn totally black and thus prevent you from seeing anything that might alarm you.

Tell that to the coronavirus.

If somebody thinks they’re a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.

Any hedgehogs here?

The longest and most destructive party ever held is now into its fourth generation and still no one shows any signs of leaving. Somebody did once look at his watch, but that was eleven years ago now, and there has been no follow up.

You know, like that storm on Jupiter.

[b]Brent Weeks

I’m asking you to make an adult decision. Are you ready to die, maybe alone, far from home, with no one even knowing what a hero you were? I can’t even promise that your lives or your deaths will accomplish victory.[/b]

Doctors on their way to New York?

It was the kind of beauty that made you shit your pants.

Let’s post examples.

I feel a sudden, intense desire to throw a temper tantrum.

Cue the Oval Office.

It was like a child addressing a tidal wave, saying, I will not be moved—and before the words are out of his mouth, all is ocean, leaving no sign; not only no sign of the child, but no sign of his defiance, no sign that anything opposed the crushing sea in the least, no eddy, no swirl, no detritus, only simple, plain, indisputable nothingness.

Like, for example, Jared Kushner challenging the coronavirus.

Why did women always believe that talking about a problem would fix it? Some issues were corpses. Hot air made them fester and rot and spread their disease to everything else.
Better to bury it and move on.

Not counting the uberwomen of course. Remember Lyssa?

Tongues should be used to commit indiscretions, not to discuss them.

And not just for dangerous liasions. At least not anymore.

[b]Jan Mieszkowski

Montaigne: People are unsociable by vice, sociable by nature.
Kafka: One can never be alone enough.
Derrida: The only sentence more terrifying than “I am alone” is “I am alone with you.”[/b]

Yes.

Psychology: The past hurts
Sociology: The present hurts
Politics: The future hurts
Philosophy: The past conditional perfect will have hurt if the future conditional perfect proves to as well

Yes.

Don’t call it “social distancing”. I’ve been waiting for Godot for years!

My guess: I get this more than you.

Writing begins at the point at which we have lost
Hegel: the ability to read
Blanchot: the ability to write
Kafka: the ability to lose

Karl Kraus: “Why do some people write? Because they are too weak not to write.”

Schopenhauer: We’re doomed
Beckett: We’re hopelessly doomed
Kafka: We’re doomed beyond hope and doom
Camus: Your collective optimism is nauseating

Of course Camus was just paraphrasing me.

Quarantine day 1: Kierkegaard
Quarantine day 15: Schopenhauer

Quarantine day 30?

[b]Jenny Offill

Einstein wondered if the moon would exist if we didn’t look at it.[/b]

Don’t look at it tonight and see.

In psychology and cognitive science, confirmation bias is a tendency to search for or interpret new information in a way that confirms one’s preconceptions and avoids information and interpretations that contradict prior beliefs.

In philosophy that’s called objectivism.

I slipped it into your papers to see if you would notice. The Zen master Ikkyu was once asked to write a distillation of the highest wisdom. He wrote only one word: Attention.

Let’s slip it into our posts and see what happens.

What Keats said: No such thing as the world becoming an easy place to save your soul in.

Like it isn’t the only thing we’ve got.

Do you have a secret life? This is what she asks all her friends.

Go ahead, ask me.

You know what’s punk rock about marriage? All the puke and shit and piss.

You know, eventually.

[b]Carl Friedrich Gauss

We must admit with humility that, while number is purely a product of our minds, space has a reality outside our minds, so that we cannot completely prescribe its properties a priori.[/b]

So, how important is it to know this?

The Infinite is only a manner of speaking.

If only from the cradle to the grave.

I mean the word proof not in the sense of the lawyers, who set two half proofs equal to a whole one, but in the sense of a mathematician, where half proof = 0, and it is demanded for proof that every doubt becomes impossible.

Is this even understandable?

Sin2 φ is odious to me, even though Laplace made use of it; should it be feared that sin2 φ might become ambiguous, which would perhaps never occur, or at most very rarely when speaking of sin(φ2), well then, let us write (sin φ)2, but not sin2 φ, which by analogy should signify sin (sin φ)

But only if 1 = 0.999…

There are problems to whose solution I would attach an infinitely greater importance than to those of mathematics, for example touching ethics, or our relation to God, or concerning our destiny and our future; but their solution lies wholly beyond us and completely outside the province of science.

All the stuff derived from dasein, in other words.

When I have clarified and exhausted a subject, then I turn away from it, in order to go into darkness again.

It’s always dark where I go here though.