Phyllo:
The issue of abortion leaves him feelling fractured and fragmented. I still find that odd. I can certainly understand having mixed feelings, or being unsure about whether abortion is alright (in general or in certain instances). I can imagine this causing some anxiety - that one cannot decide or settle the issue for oneself.
I don’t however know what, in this case, fractured and fragmented means. He mentions ‘here and now’. Is it all the time? Or let’s say he checks CNN online or actually reads a physical newspaper over breakfast and see an article on abortion. Does he then feel fragmented and fractured and what is that phrase referring to. He has often spoken about not having an ‘i’. That seems like a similar thing to this F & F state. Is there a real depersonalization?
How is what he experiences different from someone who is simply unsure and wishes they could draw a firm moral conclusion about abortion, but cannot.
If he has a coffee with someone does he feel fragmented and fractured or does the abortion issue fade into the background and d uring that social time does he feel more or less like a whole person? IOW is it only when he is thinking of the issue or is he fragmented and fractured all the time?
Of course those beliefs he mentions are unlikely to be comforting, but a lot of the beliefs he expresses here and the dynamics with others could be very comforting. The way he thinks about other people and what he calls their intellectual contraptions…that can be comforting - iow he keeps telling himself that if people are less fragmented than he is
it is because they are irrationally using intellectual contraptions, whereas he is facing the abyss or some other self-myth.
Having as a criterion that he will not engage in meditation, therapy or any other ‘path/approach’ unless all rational people should be convinced to engage by an online rational argument
can be comforting because it seems like a rational justification for not challenging himself.
That he thinks there is no afterlife I believe does both him. That particular belief is not comforting to him, but this belief is surrounded by a bunch of other beliefs and also interpersonal dynamics that seems most certainly comforting to him.