yeah i’m fairly disappointed with the dating app. most of these chicks are too normal man. the first red flag is the selfie-with-my-dog routine i see in nine out of ten pages. then there’s always the ‘travel’ in the ‘things i want to do’ section. no shit. everybody wants to travel. that goes without saying. you’re supposed to say something that uniquely defines you… not give the same answer everybody else gives. and there’s another very strange trend i’m noticing too. in the ‘how to win me over’ section, i’ve seen ‘buy me tacos’ at least four times. is there something i should know about tacos?
now the few responses i have gotten were from ladies who are clearly above my class, so i hesitate to faciliate any conversation with them. and all the other hotties who’s pics i’ve ‘liked’ will probably never find me due to the infinitely long line of prior likes from all the other benign, well-adjusted dorks they have to wade through to get to me. the app is badly designed in that respect; you can only view each like individually and in chronological order, so if you’ve got forty likes when you open the app, you’re like ‘woah this is too much work’. now if they had a single page on which they could see all the images/vids of the guys who liked them at once, they’d be like ‘omg who’s that hot guy singing ‘mr.roboto’ in the car’, and ignore all the other idiots.
what i need is a dating app for the criminally insane, man. they’ve got one for redneck christians, but what about nihilists? where are the marla singers and the harley quinns of the world?