indeed, but i had already known it. i just hadn’t yet seen it happen with such persistence and success. i mean the minor schizophrenia produced by the interplay of philosophy, western culture, and capitalist economy. what is remarkable is the ability for you to maintain this division and still ‘hold it down’ in your practical life. which is to say, you’re still a fully functioning individual despite the absolute intellectual and emotional mayhem you are suffering. and i say this is possible because the intellectual part, the ‘philosophy’, is a kind of vestigial nonsense that neither helps or hurts you. like a by-product of what happens when an above average IQ participates in very complicated language games they’ve learned in their philosophical studies, which don’t directly interfere with their actual, practical life. it isn’t that the philosophy produces the emotional turmoil - as if you’ve found some profound truth which states as a matter-of-fact that you should be miserable - but rather that the emotional turmoil accrues to the philosophy and finds expression through it.
so in the end we have an individual shaped and corrupted by these three prevalent forces (mentioned above), who then seeks solace and guidance in one of the very things that aided in his ruin. like i said, pretty remarkable.