a thread for mundane ironists

[b]Neal Stephenson

The difference between ignorant and educated people is that the latter know more facts. But that has nothing to do with whether they are stupid or intelligent. The difference between stupid and intelligent people—and this is true whether or not they are well-educated—is that intelligent people can handle subtlety. They are not baffled by ambiguous or even contradictory situations—in fact, they expect them and are apt to become suspicious when things seem overly straightforward.[/b]

So, which one are you?

Banks used to issue their own currencies. You can see these old banknotes in the Smithsonian. ‘First National Bank of South Bumfuck will remit ten pork bellies to the bearer,’ or whatever. That had to stop because commerce became nonlocal—you needed to be able to take your money with you when you went out West, or whatever.
But if we’re online, the whole world is local," Randy says.

And we all know what that takes us to.

We could end up in prison married to the guy with the most cigarettes.

Or the most Ramen Noodles.

…boys had been programmed by Darwinian selection to run around in the open chucking spears at wild animals…

Now of course it’s all video games.

But this was how the mind worked. The mind couldn’t think about the End of the World all the time. It needed the occasional break, a romp through the trivial. Because it was through trivia that the mind was anchored in reality, as the largest oak tree was rooted, ultimately, in a system of rootlets no larger than the silver hairs on the president’s head.

And what could be me trivial than the Kidstuff here?

The Bibliotheque du Roi then gives you the closest thing that currently exists to God’s understanding of the world.
And yet with a bigger library we could come ever so much closer.

I guess that means Wikipedia.

[b]Miles Davis

Jazz is like blues with a shot of heroin! [/b]

He means meth of course.

You know why I quit playing ballads? Cause I love playing ballads.

You either get this or you don’t.

I can tell whether a person can play just by the way he stands.

Anyone standing here?

In high school I was best in music class on the trumpet, but the prizes went to the boys with blue eyes. I made up my mind to outdo anybody white on my horn.

The upside of racism?

I’ll play it first and figure out what it’s called later.

Or just call it “Untitled”.

If you hit a wrong note, it’s the next note that you play that determines if it’s good or bad.

Sounds exhausting.

[b]tiny nietzsche

all the best rock stars have cocaine eyes[/b]

And all the best county stars?

travels into the future to kill old man hitler

This never ends of course.

Other things that will tear us apart:
divorces
prison
wolves

Not to mention hundreds and hundreds of other things.

I feel bad for your paint brushes

Also, your toilet paper.

send in the crows

Nope, none around here yet.

there’s no crying in postmodernism

But you can sneak a few tears in now and then.

[b]Jodie Foster

It’s very hard for me to get a new car. It’s really hard for me to get a new house. It’s really hard for me to move on from the things that give me stability. [/b]

This is definitely a real thing.

Look, it’s terrible, I know, but weakness really, really bugs me, to the point that if there is a wounded bird on the sidewalk, I look at it and I go: I think I’ll just kick it.

A line from a film, perhaps?

I fantasize about having a manual job where I can come home at night, read a book and not feel responsible for what will happen the next day.

My guess: She’s never actually had one.

There are 400 billion stars out there, just in our galaxy alone. If just one out of a million of those had planets, and just one in a million of those had life, and just one out of a million of those had intelligent life, there would be literally millions of civilizations out there.

In a word: Contact.

There is no doubt that each of us is born an individual. Why is it then that so many of us die carbon copies?

Objectivism?

Cruelty might be very human and very cultural, but it is not acceptable and it is not an option.

Let’s explain why this makes no sense.

[b]tiny nietzsche

stay on target. eat the rich[/b]

Raw some insist.

I would never belong to a cult that wouldn’t have me as its leader

Let’s think of an exception.

a sexy nihilist costume is just a black t-shirt and a lighter

And not just on Halloween.

how soon is null?

Trust me: Not soon enough.

the top goth states:
pennsylvania
florida
despair

I was born in Pennsylvania!

any forest can be a suicide forest

Or, sure, just do it in the bathroom.

[b]Andrew Sullivan

For me, God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit have always been my closest friends in this journey.[/b]

Do they know that?

I do not believe that the truth can ever be in conflict with God.

Does He know that?

If you change the society and a culture, the politics will follow.

Wow, what a brilliant insight!

You just have to keep going. I mean I think our job, my job, is to keep articulating that I exist and that there are lots of people like me exist and we just have no home.

Though not literally of course.

Every generation is born into, for the most part, a heterosexual family.

Naturally, some will insist.

I’m openly gay because I’m a Catholic.

Why even bother to ask him to explain.

[b]Julianne Moore

I was the kid who read a lot and who was academic, and who was more of an indoor person than an outdoor person. I would win the summer reading contest at the library. [/b]

I knew it, he thought.

You never have sex the way people do in the movies. You don’t do it on the floor, you don’t do it standing up, you don’t always have all your clothes off, you don’t happen to have on all the sexy lingerie. You know, if anybody ever ripped my clothes, I’d kill them.

I knew it, he thought.

I’m older than I was before when I was young.

What’s the catch?

I like the excitement you get at touching another human being when you’re acting with them and then having a little spark and not knowing what is going to happen in between you.

Imagine how many directions that can go…

Comedy is ridiculously hard. And if the rhythm is not right, if the music or the line is not right, it’s not funny.

Same here, right?

I was a bookworm, and very skinny with big, thick glasses. I never went on dates and guys were afraid of me because I was smart. So I got contact lenses, started to dress a little better and tried not to talk about Plato with boys. It worked!

Uh, what worked?

Edward Witten

1/r^2 has a nasty singularity at r=0, but it did not bother Newton—the Moon is far enough.

Of course that’s just common sense.

One of the basic things about a string is that it can vibrate in many different shapes or forms, which gives music its beauty.

Hell, any cat could tell you that.

As far as extra dimensions are concerned, very tiny extra dimensions wouldn’t be perceived in everyday life, just as atoms aren’t: we see many atoms together but we don’t see atoms individually.

And notice no mention of dasein.

String theory is 21st century physics that fell accidentally into the 20th century.

Going all the way back [so far] to before or after the Big Bang.

There was a long history of speculation that in quantum gravity, unlike Einstein’s classical theory, it might be possible for the topology of spacetime to change.

Sure, why not. Mine changes everyday.

I wouldn’t have thought that a wrong theory should lead us to understand better the ordinary quantum field theories or to have new insights about the quantum states of black holes.

So, what wouldn’t you have thought?

[b]tiny nietzsche

who are you going to lie to if you can’t lie to yourself?[/b]

About, for example, God being a progressive Christian.

I can’t stop knowing you

No, not you of course.

forget to the point

Really, this works sometimes.

sexy nihilist voice “hey”

Yep, I fell for it.

mama don’t let your babies grow up to be documentarians

After that, it’s still cowboys.

her: what do you do for a living
me: mostly I reject all religious and moral principles, in the belief that life is meaningless
her: oh unemployed

Or, like me, retired.

duplicate post

[b]Lawrence M. Krauss

A universe without purpose should neither depress us nor suggest that our lives are purposeless. Through an awe-inspiring cosmic history we find ourselves on this remote planet in a remote corner of the universe, endowed with intelligence and self-awareness. We should not despair, but should humbly rejoice in making the most of these gifts, and celebrate our brief moment in the sun. [/b]

Among other things, “yeah, right”.

The lack of understanding of something is not evidence for God. It’s evidence of a lack of understanding.

Unless of course it still all goes back to God.

The one experience that I hope every student has at some point in their lives is to have some belief you profoundly, deeply hold, proved to be wrong because that is the most eye-opening experience you can have, and as a scientist, to me, is the most exciting experience I can ever have.

Let’s just say that’s what I’m here for.

Without science, everything is a miracle.

And, for some things, even with it.

In 5 billion years, the expansion of the universe will have progressed to the point where all other galaxies will have receded beyond detection. Indeed, they will be receding faster than the speed of light, so detection will be impossible. Future civilizations will discover science and all its laws, and never know about other galaxies or the cosmic background radiation. They will inevitably come to the wrong conclusion about the universe…We live in a special time, the only time, where we can observationally verify that we live in a special time.

Like he can actually know this for sure.

The writers of the holy books did not even know the earth revolves around the sun. Why are we listening?

Just off the top of my head: Immortality? After all, see if knowing the earth revolves around the sun stems oblivion.

[b]Ralph Nader

Capitalism will always survive, because socialism will be there to save it.[/b]

Now that Communism is for all practical purposes kaput.

Power has to be insecure to be responsive.

Yeah, and it’s now quaking in its boots, right?

Looking at virtual reality through computer screens, video game screens, and above all television screens is a denial of personality development. It’s a denial of socialization, of expansion of vocabulary, of interaction with real human beings.

And here we’re just getting started.

The corporations have become our government. They’re not just influential. Department by department, you name it, they put their people in high government positions, they have 10,000 PACs and 35,000 lobbyists, so there’s no more opening to be heard.

And here they’re just getting started.

We have a Democratic Party that cannot defend the American people from the worst Republican Party in history because it’s a Democratic Party of war and Wall Street.

So don’t forget to vote.

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, ‘Dad we need a third political party.’ He said to me, ‘I’ll settle for a second.’

Would you dad say that?

[b]so sad today

i like to greet the new day by going back to bed[/b]

Or not greet it at all and go back to bed.

so you think you can go a day without overthinking

Seriously, Mr. Philosopher.

spoiler: your parents fucked you up

Let’s just say that some of us get even.

me on FB: what the fuck is wrong with these oversharers?!
me on twitter: my pussy is feeling very emotional this afternoon

Can this be made sense of?

well well well if it isn’t excruciating self-doubt

If not right on time.

confusing sexual attraction with love and it’s fine

Why – how – would it be otherwise?

[b]Robert M. Pirsig

When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called a Religion.[/b]

And, no, not excluding progressive Christians.

The truth knocks on the door and you say, “Go away, I’m looking for the truth,” and so it goes away. Puzzling.

That ever actually happened to you?

You are never dedicated to something you have complete confidence in. No one is fanatically shouting that the sun is going to rise tomorrow. They know it’s going to rise tomorrow. When people are fanatically dedicated to political or religious faiths or any other kinds of dogmas or goals, it’s always because these dogmas or goals are in doubt.

Of course as we all know the sun doesn’t really rise at all.

Sometimes it’s a little better to travel than to arrive.

My guess: It depends on the destination.

Is it hard?
Not if you have the right attitudes. Its having the right attitudes thats hard.

No, sometimes with greatest fucking attitude in the world, it’s still hard. Or even impossible.

In a car you’re always in a compartment, and because you’re used to it you don’t realize that through that car window everything you see is just more TV. You’re a passive observer and it is all moving by you boringly in a frame.
On a cycle the frame is gone. You’re completely in contact with it all. You’re in the scene, not just watching it anymore, and the sense of presence is overwhelming.

Let’s run this by promethean.

[b]Pythagoras

Practice justice in word and deed, and do not get in the habit of acting thoughtlessly about anything.[/b]

In your head as it were.

Salt is born of the purest parents: the sun and the sea.

Unless of course you have high blood pressure.

Animals share with us the privilege of having a soul.

If less grandiose.

The experience of life in a finite, limited body is specifically for the purpose of discovering and manifesting supernatural existence.

Nope, nothing yet.

I would have to say the probability of us dying seems extremely high.

Well, the guy was a fucking genius.

Wisdom, thoroughly learned, will never be forgotten.

Just what we need, another bromide.

[b]so sad today

sorry but the password must contain a fear of feelings[/b]

Does yours?

why does everything you do annoy me so much? an investigation

Here starting with the Kids.

remember when i thought I knew you but I didn’t know you at all

Not to mention the other way around.

nothing comes between me and my paranoia

In fact, nothing can.

i may not sleep at night but at least i have unexplained headaches

Let’s make sense of this.

me: gonna quickly watch a porn and masturbate
me five hours later: i’ve narrowed it down to ten finalists to possibly cum to

So, it’s not just a male thing?

[b]Whoopi Goldberg

It never occurs to me that there are things I can’t do.[/b]

Yes, people say preposterous things like this all the time.

Art and life are subjective. Not everybody’s gonna dig what I dig, but I reserve the right to dig it.

That sounds about right.

Normal is in the eye of the beholder.

Not unlike abnormal.

I don’t have pet peeves like some people. I have whole kennels of irritation.

If not downright rage.

That’s the thing about Mother Nature, she really doesn’t care what economic bracket you’re in.

She’s like that this way.

I don’t look like Halle Berry. But chances are, she’s going to end up looking like me.

Okay, but for your whole fucking life?!

[b]Philosophy Tweets

“There is an infinite amount of hope in the universe … but not for us.” Franz Kafka[/b]

Yeah, Kid, including you.

“The least deviation from truth will be multiplied later. ” Aristotle

Going all the way back to Adam and Eve, right?

“To rule by fettering the mind through fear of punishment in another world is just as base as to use force.” Hypatia

Not counting torture of course.

“One can be the master of what one does, but never of what one feels.” Gustave Flaubert

Of what one does? Sure, occasionally.

“Belief in the absolute immorality of Nature, in lack of purpose, and in meaninglessness, is the affect psychologically necessary once belief in God and an essentially moral order is no longer supportable” Nietzsche

Tell me about it.

“It was written I should be loyal to the nightmare of my choice.” Joseph Conrad

Written by him no doubt.

[b]Woody Guthrie

I like to write about wherever I happen to be.[/b]

What’s he writing about now, I wondered.

Now as through this world I ramble
I see lots of funny men
Some rob you with a six gun
And some with a fountain pen

And it’s only a hell of a lot worse now.

This machine kills fascists.

Mine, alas, only makes fools out of objectivists.

If you play more than two chords, you’re showing off.

Not counting Jimi Hendrix of course.

I ain’t a communist necessarily, but I been in the red all my life.

A play on words, right?

If you want to learn something, just steal it.

Steal from me any time you wish.

[b]Lynda Barry

If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile.[/b]

If not love then definitely death

We don’t create a fantasy world to escape reality. We create it to be able to stay.

I know that I do.

No matter what, expect the unexpected. And whenever possible be the unexpected.

Trust me: Don’t go too far.

Sometimes, I think the only art left for us is slowly peeling the label off a beer bottle while somebody tells you about a dream they had.

Vaguely insightful, isn’t it?

When you start to think of the arts as not this thing that is going to get you somewhere in terms of becoming an artist or becoming famous or whatever it is that people do, but rather a way of making being in the world not just bearable, but fascinating, then it starts to get interesting again.

Imagine saying this about philosophy.

What year is it in your imagination?

Whatever year this one isn’t.