Films you'd like to see made

“King of Africa”
(A story about Ghadaffi being successfully cloned right before the first Rafale sorties, showing how the Real Ghadaffi, through a network of tunnels built by the Chinese, ties together a network of power while forging a pan-African currency from various precious metals. Iron coins, bronze, coins, nickel, zinc, silver, gold, all of that is being forged and stored underground to prepare for a kickstart of a New African Century. Meanwhile however the Americans have gotten wind that there is something rotten under Zimbabwe, and are now exploring, through a series of touchy-feely diplomatic encounters in class A theme-park facilities, the possibility of a cooperation with the Russians to infiltrate the underground of Africa. Think Matrix 3 but without the shitty kung fu.)

Very tantalizing.

“Bad Taste 2: The Most Expensive Movie Never Made”
(Peter Jackson goes back to his roots with a budget)

“Dude, Where’s My Goldfish?” or “Dude, Where’s My Eagle?”
(A Zack Galiafianakis vehicle)

“Citizen Bane”
(the daring venture of the action-thriller genre into the psychology of resentment and its dark antidote, narcissism)

“Grunts in Space”
It is the year 2111, spacewar is a reality now and of course that means bootcamps, drill instructors, jarheads in outer space. Much material for several franchises of which GIP is the most notable, foremost tranche.

“Whiskeys for the Birds”
A kind of hyped up “Lost in Translation”, where rather than little continuity and meaning there is none and the setting is not Tokyo, Japan, but a hayfield in the middle of nowhere.

‘saving ryan’s privates’

During ww2, allied forces receive word that Ryan, an infantry soldier deployed with the third regiment somewhere in Italy, has been killed in action. Incidentally, the american president’s nephew needs a testicle transplant, and Ryan is the only person who testicles are compatible. The generals then organize a special team of operatives to infiltrate enemy lines, find Ryan, and recover his testicles before it’s too late.

Good one, though likely unpopular with the execs. They’ll go “who is gonna take his girlfriend to watch a movie about balls?”

“Hulk Bitchin’”
say no more

“Ted Talk: Interrupted”
A Ted talk about DMT -the spirit molecule- goes south when it turns out the dealer of the guy who’s tedtalking is in the audience and giving out free samples of DMT -the spirit molecule- and slowly the auditorium is turning into an intergalactic vessel and the audience understands itself as time traveling beings and in the end they just leave like in Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

“The smell of Gorgonzola in the Morning”
Two high school sweethearts who broke up when the man was drafted for some unspecified war and who are now in their 80s meet in the supermarket, and decide to spend a week together in a cabin in Saskatchewan (whoa did I just spell that right spontaneously??) where they enjoy various dairy products together.

“Me, Briséis (too)”
A moral examination of the Iliad, lived from the perspective of queen Briséis, who is repeatedly being victimized by dominant male toxicity. Release on video.

“Smoke Em If U Got Em”
Seth Rogen, Joe Rogan and Snoop Dogg are trapped in the same limousine as the end of the world breaks out. This is the story of male bonding in the face of adversity and despair.

They should have made a Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic movie. The scenic vantage points of space shift dynamics, astrophysics, reinventing the game of life, and commanding the Force are all noble aspirations and things that I would have liked to see.

They’ve come close to this…

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_Is_the_End

Right right. I tried that. To watch it. Perfectly impossible.

Im hoping Joe Rogan and Snoop Dogg will make for a better experience.

Yeah but precisely the things cinema cant show you.
Cinema relies on suggestion for storytelling. It is all fake.
These technologies you’d like to see don’t actually exist, so we can use them as characters in fiction films but we cant put their mechanics on display. Because there are none.

Avengers vs Transformers

“Saucers from Kenya”
A conspiracy sci-fi

I straight-up pledge $100 for this.

Dirt Alley sounds annoyingly promising.

I can’t pledge any money for the Weinstein feature because I don’t want to die an early death.

Matteo

Marlon Brando

Oh fuck, is Marlon Brando dead right?

The 7 Velvet Banners

An oldschool cung fu movie set in montreal, including the voice-over.

DAY, OUTSIDE, MONTREAL

A hook for a clothing line in a clowdy autumn day, swaying gently back and forth. It is the thing, one is not seeing a clothing line hook pole, one is not reminiscing on the clothes that get hanged there now and then by tired wives.

A semi-deserted cracked street in some ex-industrial ish part of the city. A man crosses the road up to the middle, and turns to.

A garbage truck pulls up and men jump off and take dumpsters and empty them.

I am not inspired now, weird.
I have one very bad one again:

“Atlantis: Tollbooths”
A dialogue film by Roger Avery