Some years ago while thinking about paranormal and conspiracy things I somehow ended up imagining this test. It was a fun thing to do, just some free associating from the mentioned subject matter. But later on I realized that the test showed me something about what one holds as truth and how far you would abide by it if the stakes were really high and not just an easy, armchair statement with little consequence.
First, to understand the test you have to know who the ‘Smoking Man’ was on the X Files television show. There’s no way for me to get into a biographical/psychological sketch of Smoking Man in the space for this posting. So, if you don’t know who he was then the test may have the same quality of seriousness and background for you that it would have for those familiar with the character.
So here’s the test:
You meet up with Smoking Man. How you meet up with him I’ll leave to your imagination. You both sit down at a table having some coffee. Of course, he is smoking one of his ever-present cigarettes. By the way, Smoking Man is not the type of person you would tell to put out his cigarette.
He says he is going to ask you 2 questions. The first question he precedes by telling you that if you answer no, then you can back out of the test, you can go your way and that’s that. But if you answer yes, then you’re taking the test and at that point you can’t back out.
If you answer the 2nd question correctly, he will sit with you for an hour and you can ask him any questions you wish, he’ll tell you the truth about any and all of them. Aliens? He’ll not only tell you about them, he’ll take you where you can see an actual, living alien that’s kept somewhere for study. Who killed JFK? He’ll show you the top secret documents on that. He’ll name names. UFOs? He’ll get a pilot to take you for a ride, Nevada to New York, and back, tops, 30 minutes. In short, any of the mysteries and secrets that have fascinated and perplexed so many, you would know the 100% truth behind them.
But if you answer the 2nd question incorrectly, then he will nod at the usual bodyguards that are with him, they will escort you outside and dispose of you - permanently.
You take a chance and you say, yes, you’ll take the test. He smiles, takes a puff, and says, okay.
He asks you the 2nd question: “Do you believe an American astronaut walked on the moon in 1969?”
Personally, I figured I had one of 3 possible answers. One would be no, no one walked on the moon, it was a hoax. Two, yes, an American astronaut did walk on the moon. Three, I really don’t know, all that I know is what was shown on television.
For the first, I thought that I just couldn’t give a simple yes, I would have to be forceful, enthusiastic, and even patriotic about it. I thought that even if i was answering incorrectly that Smoking Man would think that I was sufficiently brainwashed enough and not worth the bother of eliminating. That he may have asked the question to just see how much of a threat I was to the lie that had been perpetrated.
If I answered no, then that one’s a fairly 50/50 risk. He may see that I’m not brainwashed, that I’ve figured out the truth for myself. He may respect that but I may pose a threat.
In either of the above two there is the chance that he will act according to what he thinks is the best outcome. Even if you had answered incorrectly, he may say that you answered rightly and then for the next hour tell you anything about what you ask, whether it’s the truth or not.
The 3rd answer is that I don’t know. That would seem the most honest answer considering that he may already know that you nor billions of others know the truth. He may admire that, that you are honestly admitting you really have no idea whether a man walked on the moon. The third answer may have him saying that if you don’t know then that voids the test. Fair enough, at least you’ll ive another day.
What the test shows is that we are sometimes prone to make armchair declarations about whatever with no consequences. But if your life depended on the correct answer, then that’s a different story.
Even though it is a fictitious test and I’m ‘armchairing’ it, I still tried to figure out what would be the best answer, how to deliver it, how to phrase it in some way to hedge the bets. How to outsmart Smoking man, if that’s possible.
I chose the 3rd answer. I considered it to be the most honest overall. Hopefully, Smoking Man would recognize that honesty. Then again . . .
Would you have taken the test to begin with on those terms knowing that if you answered correctly you’d learn about some of the biggest mysteries in history? Would you try to strategize your answers?
Lastly, if it were a life or death thing with much of what you hold to be true or false, would some of those opinions change?
Or is it really simple for you and say that no way in hell would you trust Smoking Man on anything? But remember, he let Mulder and Scully live because in a way he admired them.