[scene: monday morning. small claims court in new delhi]
judge: this court is now in session. let the plantiff step forward and state his complaint.
jamal: thank you, your honor. i am suing my parents because they did not ask me if i wanted to be born.
judge: is this true?
father: it is true, your honor. but it isn’t as if we could have asked him. i mean he wasn’t born yet, you know?
judge: are you aware, jamal, that in not being able to ask not to be born, you are not bound by contract to be asked if you want to be born?
jamal: onus probandi, you’re honor.
[judge waves over a hot indian woman in a sharp navy blue skirt who brings him an enormous book. they consult over the book as the hot indian woman flips through the pages, finally pointing out paragraph nine subsection a.3 in chapter four]
judge: are you aware that the burden of proof lies on you to show that jamal did not not want to be born?
father: rationabile dubium, your honor.
[judge waves over the hot indian woman in a sharp navy blue skirt who brings him the enormous book again. they consult over the book as the hot indian woman flips through the pages, finally pointing out paragraph six subsection b.1 in chapter seven]
judge: are you aware that your father had reasonable doubt to believe that you wouldn’t want to be born, jamal?
jamal: argumentum ad populum, your honor.
[judge waves over the hot indian woman in a sharp navy blue skirt who brings him the enormous book again. they consult over the book as the hot indian woman flips through the pages, finally pointing out paragraph two subsection c.6 in chapter eleven. hot indian woman in a sharp navy blue skirt decides to sit down beside the bench this time rather than walk back to the attorney’s chamber. she crosses her legs and puts the book on her lap]
judge: are you aware that just because most people are happy they exist and are glad they were born, it doesn’t necessarily mean jamal should be happy and glad to be born, too? i will allow you some time to make your considerations, and call a brief intermission for the court.
[quiet chatter fills the court room as the judge adjusts his turban, steps down from the bench, and heads for the coke machine in the lobby]