[b]David Sedaris
Real trouble doesn’t walk around with a ponytail. It doesn’t have a Mohawk or special shoelace patterns. Real trouble has a bad complexion and a Windbreaker.[/b]
Probably less applicable here though.
My hands tend to be full enough dealing with people who hate me for who I am. Concentrate too hard on the millions who hate you what you are and you’re likely to turn into one of those unkempt, sloppy dressers who sag beneath the weight of the two hundred political buttons they wear pinned to their coats and knapsacks. I haven’t got the slightest idea of how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexandria_Ocasio-Cortez
Her maybe?
I’m not a misogynist. I’m a misanthrope. I hate everyone equally.
Don’t be fooled by this, right?
My sister’s the type who religiously watches the fear segments of her local Eyewitness News broadcasts, retaining nothing but the headline…Everything is dangerous all of the time, and if it’s not yet been pulled off the shelves, then it’s certainly under investigation…
He means Eyewitless News of course.
My sister Amy lives above a deaf girl and has learned quite a bit of sign language. She taught some to me and so now I am able to say, “SANTA HAS A TUMOR IN HIS HEAD THE SIZE OF AN OLIVE. MAYBE IT WILL GO AWAY TOMORROW BUT I DON’T THINK SO."
Let’s file this one under, “lost in translation”.
Six months earlier, my ice breaker concerned a stripper who became a quadriplegic and eventually had her vagina eaten away by bedsores, not the easiest thing to wrangle into a conversation.
I know I’ve never tried it.