[b]David Sedaris
They’re hungry for something they know nothing about, but we, we know all too well that the price of fame is the loss of privacy.[/b]
Well, like you, I wouldn’t know about that.
I had no job at the time and was living off the cruel joke I referred to as my savings.
At least until Trump drains the swamp.
Three days after that, the funeral was held, and while riding from the church to the cemetery Ava looked out the widow and noticed that everyone she passed was crying.
Old people, college students, even the colored men at the gas station-- the soul brothers, or whatever we’re supposed to call them now.
It was such an outdated term, I just had to use it myself.
How did the soul brothers know your father?
That’s just it, she said. No one told us until after the burial that Kennedy had been shot. It happened when we were in the church, so that’s what everyone was so upset about. The president, not my father.
That could actually be a true story.
I like the trail that the Internet created. For example, I was watching one of those Douglas Sirk movies, and I noticed that Rock Hudson towered over everyone, and I typed in “How tall was” and I saw “How tall was Jesus,” and I’m like, “Sure,” and half an hour later you’re somewhere you didn’t expect to be. It doesn’t work that same way in books, does it? Even if you have an encyclopedia, the trail isn’t that crazy. I like that aspect of it.
Okay, but how tall was Jesus?
Use the word ‘ya’ll’ and before you knew it, you’d find yourself in a haystack french-kissing an underage goat.
And we know where they use that, don’t we?
It means ‘female dog,’ I’d explained to my sisters, but it also means ‘a woman who’s crabby and won’t let you be yourself’.
Did the bitches buy it?