[b]David Sedaris
States vote to take away my marriage rights, and even though I don’t want to get married, it tends to hurt my feelings. I guess what bugs me is that it was put to a vote in the first place. If you don’t want to marry a homosexual, then don’t. But what gives you the right to weigh in on your neighbor’s options? It’s like voting on whether or not redheads should be allowed to celebrate Christmas.[/b]
Well, he thought, I wouldn’t go that far.
If a person who constantly reads is labeled a bookworm, then I was quickly becoming what might be called a tapeworm.
Let’s not go there, okay?
I hated leaving a hole in the smoking world, and so I recruited someone to take my place. People have given me a lot of grief, but I’m pretty sure that after high school, this girl would have started anyway, especially if she chose the army over community college.
Besides, he could have been smoking crack cocain. Or shooting smack into his veins.
The landscape is best described as ‘pedestrian hostile.’ It’s pointless to try to take a walk, so I generally just stay in the room and think about shooting myself in the head.
At least that’s an option.
They were Jesuits, she told me. That means they believe in God but not in terlet paper. You should have seen their underwear. Disgusting.
Any truth to this?
If nothing else, life in the suburbs promised that you might go from day to day without finding shit in your hair.
Any truth to this?