as our understanding of experience has shown us,
we are social creatures, social animals and we rely upon
that socialness to become who we are………
what that means is this, as we are social by nature and
to discover who we are also must be social. We judge ourselves
and our place in the universe in terms of our place, our standing
within the polis. In other words, we cannot become who we are without
some understanding of our social place in the human world.
We define ourselves, judge ourselves in regards to other human beings.
It is that association, of a human being in relation to other human beings,
that we define ourselves and judge ourselves. we do not stand in isolation,
by ourselves, when we understand who we are. If we decide to become something,
that something is done in regards to our relationship to other human beings.
I decide to become a nicer person, that is not done in isolation, that is done
as a response to other human beings. I cannot judge my intelligence or
my competence or who I am without other human beings to base
my judgement upon. I define myself with my relationship to other human beings
Comparing and contrasting is the only way we humans have a sense of
who we are and what is the “right” thing to do and what is the “moral” thing
to do and what is the logical/rational thing to do… All of this is based upon
comparing and contrasting ourselves with other human beings. It is by our
relationship with other human beings that we define ourselves.
It is this comparing and contrasting to others that allows us to discover who we are
and what is the meaning and goal and point of life.
I can only see myself in terms of others human beings. However as I am a man,
I don’t allow myself to be judged by others. In other words, when someone
says, “you’re an idiot” I simply don’t accept their words because I am secure
in who I am. I am not affected by others when they say such things, but
and this is important, I am still defining myself in terms of other people.
Everything I am trying to accomplish as a human being is done in relation
to other human beings. My behavior for example, is not done in isolation
to other human beings, my behavior is my relations to other human beings.
So we have a couple of things going on, first, we define ourselves in
terms of our relations with other human beings. If I am smart or funny
or kind or mean, that is in terms of my relations to other human beings.
I cannot be mean or smart or kind to myself, but I can be to others.
Now one might suggest that I can learn to be kind to myself, however
this leads us to some interesting places. To be kind to myself, suggest that
there are at least two of us, the mean Kropotkin and the Kropotkin that needs
kindness. I have often heard it said that someone needs to forgive themselves
for actions or words, said or not said. but to forgive yourself, you require at
least two people within yourself, the one being forgiven and the one
who is offering the forgiveness. We see again that as Goethe suggested
we are not just one soul but at least two souls and if we have two souls,
why not three or four or eighteen souls within our breast. We have heard
of people having multiple personalities, movies and books are based upon
this scientific fact including the famous one with Sally Fields called “Sybil”.
If some people can have this, why not everyone? The only reason
that psychiatrists get called in is because the multiple personalities
interfere with day to day living and that is really all we do, live day to day.
So in my relations with other human beings, I am reacting to others
differently. So with my idiot 26 year old boss, I just ignore him.
And with others at work, I react differently to them based on
my relations to them. In essence, I play different roles at work
and my relationship at home is also more role playing. I respond to
my wife differently then I do people at work and I respond to my daughter
differently then either work or my wife. And I cannot respond to the customers
I deal with every single day, up to 300 customers a day, so I respond to
customers differently depending on if they are male or female or young or
old or if they are douches. We have set customers. People we deal with
virtually every single day and my interactions with them are different
from causal customers and with my co-workers. We human beings, have a series of
complex actions and interactions every single day with different people.
A fixed and set personality would not actually be advisable in my job
because I am forced to deal with a multitude of vastly different people
every single day and I cannot respond to each different person with
a fixed and set series of responses. I must be able to adapt and change with
every single person I meet every single day.
think about Autistic people. They lack the skills of communication and
interactions that I take for granted. They are unable to adapt and change
with encounters with people as I do and I am guessing you do. They only
have one way to interact with people, but human beings to survive
must be able to interact in multiple number of different ways with
vastly different people. to think about it this way, I have a multitude
of different people within me allowing me to act and interact with
other people, but autistic people have only one way to interact with
people. They have but one personality and one soul in their person
and look at what happens? They are unable to effectively communicate
with people. A fixed personality and a fixed soul is a limiting factor
in dealing with people. The trick in being able to have communication
with people is to have adaptable and flexible personalities within us.
We discover who we are in our dealings with and interactions with
other human beings. We become who we are when we understand who
we are in relationship to other human beings.
Philosophy is just another method of understanding that relationship
with other human beings.
Kropotkin