Here we go again: a crisis of faith.
A crisis of faith from a man of the cloth.
And, like most of them, they revolve around an actual set of circumstances. One in which your faith is tested by being yanked in conflicting directions. Troubling and distressing things can happen to us or to those around us. How then does one reconcile a loving, just and merciful God with the wrenching vicissitudes that one can experience out in the at times horrific world of mere mortals?
Or, rather, somewhere in that vicinity.
On the other hand, the circumstances here are basically the stuff of movies. They include the politics of religion embedded in the Catholic/Protestant chasm, radical environmentalism, abortion, tangled personalities, unrequited love, cancer.
Also, reconciling one’s Christian faith with capitalism.
And then the part where a crisis of faith can begin to play havoc with your moral compass. Without God around to point you in the right direction how do you determine what the right direction is? Your options skyrocket. But there is considerably less down here or up there to ground them in.
So on and on and on the protagonists go attempting to pin down the least dysfunctional reaction to a world in which God may or may not exist. The “action” here revolves around discussion and debate. Around arguments being exchanged about a set of circumstances you may or may not be able to empathize with.
But that’s not really a problem though because most of us [sooner or later] will become entangled in one of our own.
Hope and despair. With God. Without God.
As for the ending, you tell me. There’s the one that we see and there’s the one that Toller had intended.
IMDb
[b]Paul Schrader stated in an interview this film would be different from what he has ever done, calling it a film more in the vein of Ingmar Bergman, Robert Bresson and Andrei Tarkovsky.
Paul Schrader stated in a Q&A at Rotterdam Film Festival 2018 that he was surprised while editing the film to notice how many similarities there were with Taxi Driver, a film he also wrote.
The film’s name was inspired by the director’s own religious background in what is known as Calvinism, the second expression of Protestant Christianity to spring out of the Protestant Reformation. The first being Lutheranism. John Calvin and his followers believed that Martin Luther had not taken his reformation far enough and sought to install doctrines that further distances themselves from Roman Catholicism.[/b]
at wiki: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Reformed
trailer: youtu.be/hCF5Y8dQpR4
First Reformed [2017]
Written and directed by by Paul Schrader
[b]Toller [voiceover]: I have decided to keep a journal. Not in a word program or digital file, but in longhand, writing every word out so that every inflection of penmanship, every word chosen, scratched out, revised, is recorded. To set down all my thoughts and the simple events of my day factually and without hiding anything. When writing about oneself, one should show no mercy. I will keep this diary for one year, 12 months. And at the end of that time, it will be destroyed. Shredded, then burnt. The experiment will be over. These thoughts and recollections are not so different from those I confide to God every morning. When it is possible. When he is listening.
…
Mary [to Toller]: My husband…he thinks it’s wrong to bring a child into this world. He wants to kill our baby.
…
Michael [Mary’s husband]: Hey, you know what the world will be like in 2050?
Toller: Hmm. Hard to imagine.
Michael: Yeah, you think? I mean, Reverend… Uh, the world is changing so fast. And right in front of us. I mean, one third of the natural world has been destroyed in your lifetime. You know, the earth’s temperature will be three degrees centigrade higher. Four is the threshold. You know? “Severe, widespread, and irreversible impacts.” And when scientists say stuff like that, you know? And National Center for Atmospheric Research, Lawrence Livermore, the Potsdam Institute. Uh, Reverend…
Toller [voiceover]: He went on like that for some time. By 2050, sea levels two feet higher on the East Coast. Low lying areas underwater across the world. Bangladesh, 20% loss of landmass. Central Africa, 50% reduction in crops due to drought. The Western reservoirs dried up. Climate change refugees. Epidemics. Extreme weather.
Michael: You know, the…the bad times, they will begin. And from that point, everything moves very quickly. You know, this social structure can’t bear the stress of multiple crises. Opportunistic diseases, anarchy, martial law, the tipping point. And this isn’t in some, like, distant future. You will live to see this. You know, my children will experience this unliveability.
…
Toller: There’s something growing inside Mary. Something as alive as a tree, surely. As an endangered species. Something full of the beauty and mystery of nature. You said sanction? You think Mary should have an abortion? This birth, is that your right? Is that your decision? Have you asked Mary what she thinks? Look, this…this isn’t…it’s not about your baby. It’s not about Mary. It’s about you and your despair. Your lack of hope. Look, people have, throughout history, have woken up in the dead of the night, confronted by blackness. The sense that our lives are without meaning. The Sickness Unto Death.
Michael: Yeah, but this is something different.
Toller: Yeah, no. Man’s great achievements have brought him to the place where life as we know it may cease in the foreseeable future. Yes, that’s new. But the blackness that’s not. We are scientific people. We want to solve things. We want rational answers. Right? And if… If humankind can’t overcome its immediate interests enough to ensure its own survival, then you’re right. The only rational response is despair.
…
Toller: You said you respected me. What I…what I’ve been through.
Michael: Yes.
Toller: So, you know my story.
Michael: Yeah, you were a chaplain.
Michael: Uh-huh. My father taught at VMI. I encouraged my son to enlist. It was the family tradition. Uh, like his father, my father before me. A patriotic tradition. My wife, uh, was very opposed. My son enlisted anyway. And, uh… Six months later he was dead in Iraq. Right? I talked my son into a war that had no moral justification. My wife could no longer live with me. I left the military. I was lost. And Reverend Jeffers from Abundant Life, he gave me this position at First Reformed and here I am. Now Michael, I can promise you that whatever despair you feel about bringing a child into this world cannot equal the despair of taking a child from it.
…
Toller [to Michael]: Courage is the solution to despair. Reason provides no answers. I can’t know what the future will bring. We have to choose despite uncertainty. Wisdom is holding two contradictory truths in our mind, simultaneously. Hope and despair. A life without despair is a life without hope. Holding these two ideas in our head is life itself.
…
Michael: Can God forgive us? For what we’ve, uh, done to this world?
Toller: I don’t know. Who can know the mind of God? But we can choose a righteous life. Belief…Forgiveness…Grace covers us all. I believe that.
…
Toller [voiceover]: I went over everything that was said, what should have been said, what could have been said differently, what could have been said better. "I know that nothing can change “and I know there is no hope.” Thomas Merton wrote this. Despair is a development of pride so great that it chooses one’s certitude rather than admit God is more creative than we are. Perhaps it’s better I didn’t say that to him.
…
Esther: How was Jeffers?
Toller: Oh. He wants me to meet Ed Balq. Balq Industries, Balq Energy, Balq Paper, Balq Peanuts…
Esther: Why?
Toller: Well, it’s all about the Reconsecration. And apparently Mr. Balq wants to make sure he gets proper credit for underwriting the whole thing.
Esther: Well, he should. First Reformed would be a parking lot if it wasn’t for him.
…
Toller [voiceover]: Some are called for their gregariousness, some are called for their suffering. Others are called for their loneliness. They are called by God, because through the vessel of communication they can reach out, and hold beating hearts in their hands. They are called because of their all-consuming knowledge of the emptiness of all things that can only be filled by the presence of Our Savior.
…
Mary [on phone]: You must come over. Now.
Toller: Is Michael there?
Mary: No. He’s at work.
Mary: You must come over. Now.
Toller: Okay. Okay.
…
Toller: Explosives?
Mary: It’s a suicide vest.
…
Toller: Michael was troubled, but his cause was just. There’s no reason to bring disrepute on that cause. Are you an activist as well?
Mary: I share Michael’s beliefs. But not his despair. I mean, I wanna live.
…
Toller [voiceover reacting to Michael’s suicide]: Terrible night. No sooner than I shut my eyes, desolation came upon me. What is one’s last thought as you pull the trigger? “There goes my head.” Or, “Jesus, watch over me?” Or neither? I’m going to tear these pages out. This journal brings me no peace. It’s self-pity. Nothing more.
…
Toller [voicover]: How easily they talk about prayer, those who have never really prayed.
…
Cynthia [at a church group meeting]: Three months ago, my father got laid off. He can’t find any work. Nobody loves the Lord more than my father. He is always testifying, he volunteers. Did he do something wrong?
Toller: Well, Cynthia. I’m sorry that happened to your father. There’s a lot of church people, good Christians, who see, uh, a connection between godliness and prosperity. But that’s not what Jesus teaches. That’s not what Jesus lived. There’s no dollar sign on His pulpit. There’s no American flag either. I think, Cynthia, what your father is experiencing is…
Jake [interjecting]: Christians shouldn’t succeed. That’s what he means. Christianity is for losers? I just get tired of turn the other cheek. Jesus didn’t turn the other cheek. Why stand for anything? Take prayer out of the schools. Give money to people too lazy to work for it. And whatever you do, don’t offend the Muslims.
…
Toller: I mean, no sooner do I mention the poor, and this teenager jumps down my throat like I just took a shit on the American flag. Forgive my language.
Jeffers: Oh, God! Roger told me. He said you kept your cool, and he admired you for that.
Toller: There’s just no middle ground with these kids. Everything is so extreme.
Jeffers: It’s the times. These are frightening times. These…These kids, they grow up in a world that, you and I, we wouldn’t even recognize. Global warming, a sea of pornography, hyper violent video games. It’s a world without privacy. Each kid isolated, communicating on media. It’s a world without hope!
…
Toller: May I ask a question?
Balq: Yeah. Go ahead.
Toller: Will God forgive us? Will God forgive us for what we’re doing to his creation? That’s what Mensana asked me when I visited him.
Balq: This… There’s been a lot of loose talk about environmental change.
Toller: There is scientific consensus. Ninety-seven percent…
[Toller in voiceover: The man who says nothing always seems more intelligent. Why couldn’t I just keep silent?]
Balq: It’s a complicated subject.
Toller: Not really. I mean, who benefits? Cui bono? Who profits? That’s what I keep asking myself. Besides the Biblical call to stewardship, who profits when we soil our own nest? What’s to be gained…
Balq [angrily]: Can we just agree to keep politics out of the reconsecration service?
Jeffers: Yes.
Toller: Yes, but this isn’t politics. I mean, what God wants is for…
Balq: Oh, you, you, you, you…You know the mind of God? You spoke to him, personally? He told you His plans for Earth
…
Balq: So you counseled him, Reverend?
Toller: Yes. You counseled him, then he shot himself?
Jeffers: Ed?
Toller: Yes.
Balq: Well, I think you need to step back, Reverend, and take a look at your own life before you criticize others. Hmm?
…
Toller: I have a question for you, if, uh…If it’s not too painful. Do you think he, uh…He really would have harmed someone?
Mary: Um, he’d been a part of some non-violent protests. We both had. He’d been put in jail. He had a temper. I mean, he’d start yelling at police, but no, I don’t think he was…No. I don’t think he was violent.
Toller: I just, um…I can’t help but keep wondering what I should have done differently.
Mary: He didn’t want to live. He was not a religious man, you know…I was the spiritual one.
…
Toller [voiceover]: I have removed the previous pages. They were written in a delirium. But I am determined to continue. It’s hard to struggle against torpor.
…
Toller [to a group of children]: You see, there used to be a pew over this. And they would move it, and then they would lift this up. Slaves would hide in here. Sometimes whole families. Can you imagine that? In the dark. The air hot, shaking with fear. The sound of the slave hunter’s horses outside. On their knees, holding each other’s hands, praying for God to save them?
…
Mary: I think I’m gonna go to the, uh, Reconsecration.
Toller: Oh. No, you… You don’t need to do that.
Mary: But, I… I want to.
Toller: Yeah, but it’s not necessary. It’s very nice of you to offer, um, but it’s just a bunch of rich guys patting each other on the back.
Mary: But you’re gonna be there.
Toller: But I have to be there.
Mary: So I’m gonna go.
Toller: Please don’t come. Okay? I don’t want you to come. You understand?
Mary: Okay.[/b]
We know what that means.
[b]Toller [voiceover]: “Be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world.”
…
Toller [voiceover]: I have found another form of prayer.
…
Jeffers [to Toller]: You’re always in the Garden. Even Jesus wasn’t always in the Garden, on his knees, sweating blood. He was on the Mount. He was in the marketplace. He was in the temple. But you, you’re always in the Garden. For you every hour is the Darkest Hour.
…
Jeffers: Jesus doesn’t want our suffering. He suffered for us. He wants our commitment and our obedience.
Toller: And what of His creation? The Heavens declare the glory of God. God is present everywhere, in every plant, every river, every tiny insect. The whole world is a manifestation of His Holy presence. I think this is an issue where…where the church can lead. But…but they say nothing. The U.S. Congress still denies climate change? Where were we when these people were elected? The, the, the…we know who spoke for big business. Right? But who spoke for God?
…
Jeffers: “The creation waits in eager expectation of liberation from bondage.” That’s Romans 8:23. You understand?
Toller: So, we should pollute so God can restore? We should sin so God can forgive? I don’t think that’s what the Apostle meant. I think we’re supposed to look with the eyes of Jesus into every living…
Jeffers: You don’t live in the real world.
Tollers: I don’t?
Jeffers: You, you are a minister at a tourist church that no one attends. Do you have any idea what it takes to do God’s work?
Toller: I’m trying to…
Jeffers: To, to maintain a mission of this size? The staffing, the outreach, the amount of people that we touch each day. Who’s that priest that you like so much?
Toller: Thomas Merton?
Jeffers: Thomas Merton. He didn’t live in the real world either!
Toller: Yes, he did! He would…
Jeffers: No. He was a monk who lived in a monastery in Kentucky and wrote books!
…
Toller: Somebody has to do something! It’s the Earth that hangs in the balance.
Jeffers: Well what if this is His plan? What if we just can’t see it?
Toller: You think God wants to destroy his creation?
Jeffers: He did once. For 40 days and 40 nights.[/b]
Toller says nothing. After all, what can he say?