I’m glad you brought this up.
I’m not sure it’s possible a person with a woman’s body could have a wholly male brain/mind, but let’s assume it is for the sake of argument.
Let’s say I’m throwing a dinner party.
I’m inviting three coworkers, two of them are men, one of them is a ‘transman’.
She was born Jill, but legally changed her name to ‘Jack’.
In her adolescence, neurologists examined her brain, and to the best of their ability, determined it to be 98.8% male (now neurologists may never discover most of the ways male brains differ from females, nor an objective way of determining which difference is more significant, but again, let’s say they have for the sake of argument).
Altho her brain is almost completely male, and she identifies as a man, she chose not to have sex reassignment surgery or take steroids, for health reasons.
Throughout the night, I offer more alcoholic beverages to my two male coworkers than to Jack, not because I’m transphobic, but because physically she’s a woman, she’s shorter, has a slighter frame and weighs less.
I also serve her a smaller portion of food for the same reason.
We sit down at the dinner table, and I notice it’s hard to hear Jack’s voice over my two male coworkers and me, so we have to deliberately lower our voices so she can get a word in.
I also notice while it’s short length, she has a full head of hair at 40, and probably will for the rest of her life, whereas my two male coworkers are balding.
I too still have my hair, and my two male coworkers are both envious of her and I.
I notice Jack has an interest in many typically male subjects, like politics and computer science, but has little interest in sports.
I ask her if she plays or ever played sports in her youth.
She tells me she tried to get into sports, but couldn’t, because she couldn’t keep up with the boys, and she refused to play with girls because she didn’t identify as one, so she got more into computers and video games instead.
After dinner, Jack tells me she’s spotted a book on my bookshelf she’d like to read, too high for her to reach, so I grab it for her.
After I finish taking a piss, I put the seat down, thinking she may have to use the toilet at some point.
It’s getting late, and everyone needs to head home, we’re all too drunk to drive, my two male coworkers stagger home in one direction, and Jack needs to get home safe in the opposite direction.
I offer to call her a cab, she declines, I offer to walk her home, she accepts.
On the way home, I notice she appears a little colder than I, so I offer her my coat, she accepts.
I think about her personality, and while she’s definitely more masculine than most women, she’s still not quite as masculine as most men, and I wonder how much just having a female body has affected her perception of herself.
We arrive at her place, and Jack tells me to come up and stay with her for a bit.
She tells me to find something on TV while she gets more comfy.
As I’m channel surfing, she exits her bedroom, and I’m surprised to see she’s swapped the t-shirt and jeans she was wearing for a sexy dress.
I ask her, what’re you doing, and she replies, I like to dress up as the opposite sex every once in a while, for the lols.
She asks me what I think, and I tell her she looks good, really good.
While I thought she was cute, I didn’t realize how feminine and sexy she was until she lost the t-shirt and jeans.
She sits on the couch beside me to watch TV, and I can’t stop thinking about how good she looks in that dress.
It takes every fiber of my being not to make a move on her.
You see Jack told me she identifies as heterosexual, which for her means she’s only attracted to women.
But before I know it, she’s all over me, and I end up spending the night.
In the morning I wake up hungover, a little baffled by the sudden turn of events.
I ask her, I thought you were only attracted to women, and she tells me she is, but occasionally likes to sleep with men when she’s hammered, because it beats a strap on.
Plus she said I was really kind to her, and she finds kindness sexy irrespective of sex/gender.
I remembered we didn’t use protection, and she told me not to worry, she’s going to buy emergency contraception.
She apologized, and said she had no idea we were going to sleep together before coming over to my place.
I left her apartment and spent the next few days worrying about whether she took emergency contraception or not.
A few days later I saw Jack at work, talked to her about things, and was delighted to learn she’s started her period.
She was moody that day, and I tried not to step on her toes.
So why do I tell you this story?
The point is, social situations aren’t just mental and emotional, they’re physical too.
A persons body isn’t just relevant at the doctors office, it’s more or less always relevant.
And a persons body is in large part determined by their chromosomes (XX or XY) and genitals.
Whether they like or not, realize it or not, a persons physical sex is part of their social identity.
even if she has a wholly male brain/mind, my relationship with ‘Jack’ is never going to be the same as it is with a real man.