We can’t help but be self-centered, yet it’s been painted across the board as wrong and immoral. If not for being self-centered, what would we be? What could we be other than centered within our selves, forever looking out while trying to look in at times; most of the time, a good amount of us just seeking to retain a center balance and not be taken on unnecessary rides outward or inward. Is it wrong to consider ourselves first, to work toward considering others first at times? Is it wrong to selfishly wish to just live our lives and not concern ourselves with others problems? We interact often enough with others throughout our lives, is it always supposed to be the extremes that society has painted; that even here you both are seeming at odds for being kept from the knowledge that would enable the bridging of the gaps between your two seemingly different viewpoints, each bringing out various points to consider in seeming conversational format with aggressive language developed to make it an argument and fight that neither of you dare to lose or back down from.
Is it wrong that we, while considering all of these things, find ourselves in motion beyond the explaining and analyzing, having found our feet once, find ourselves having to find them again and again, still never saying what we want to say, still never arguing exactly how we want to argue or what we want to argue along the lines that we’re stuck at.
Is it wrong that while living our lives, we go from moralistic reasons for doing things to immoral and even those that try to just be free, try to live outside those lines, wind up falling into the intellectual aspect of still having to work to get away with what they can, often never what they want, wanting justification for hard work that is never to be respected, never caring about society, but caring about how it effects them, expecting it to cater to them, forever wanting to get things exactly as they want, not wanting to accept satisfaction, true satisfaction as being dissatisfied most of the time and having to make do.
I think, at the core, what we find is that most of us are at odds with a few out of the infinite multitude; a few being a few on that scale and still the minority but threaten the majority, convince us we’re outnumbered, set us at odds against each other and keep expecting us to fight along the same old tired lines and frequencies while we hunger and thirst for something new, something fresh, something beyond what we’re doing and where we’re at and not knowing what.
Is this thread really about God and Religion and how at odds we are with how they’ve painted the picture? Or, is it really about trying to reach through the veil of the idiocies we find ourselves speaking, what we think is important breaking through, but never what we truly find important, what we feel we have to argue through to our satisfaction, but there is no satisfaction in chasing lines that are forever slated and cemented to be recursive and circular; that we find whatever we do, however we argue, whatever reasoning we use, never enough for the few who would want to force their reasoning on us all that defies all emotion, all logic, all emotional logic, all rationality and even irrationality and demand that we respect them, cater to them; be the first to ‘capitulate’ and say please to get them to stop raping us. That they force their way through in no form toward anything that verifies their reasoning and rationality, yet throw down and are entirely found to be in synch with it beyond where even the two of you and so many others, myself included, are struggling to find footing in the mess that they made.
What importance is there is any conversation of a God, the God, or religion at all when it comes down to so much idle intellectual curiosity that inhibits our ability to live our lives, to interact with others freely, denied so much conversation that could be instead, if not for their manic drive to forever keep us at war or fuck up whatever peace we might have.
Ultimately, I find myself being insane as Hell for how rational and reasonable I sound. It’s not always me and not always what I’m capable of being. That both of you and so many others are caught up in the mind at time, fighting against me and what is right and whether you know it’s not you or not, it’s hard to fight against and hard to want to fight against because it’s not just me you fight against when they roll you up as the legion, but against the very tenets of life that you would otherwise live, keeping you from understanding your own selves, your own flesh, and I only mention this because both of you are still not fresh as you appear in the mental theater I’m presented; that like me, are hurting in ways that are kept from you, hurting badly beyond so much shit. That I’m not as fresh as I appear in typing this. That for your own reasons as the dark stain continues to spread as we struggle and strive to rise above it; rising above becomes an impossibility for how we are all hammered and slammed by the same insecurity and inadequacy issuing few.
We only become more committed to fighting to the death, since it’s all we can do, whether we want to or not, become all the more committed and resolved to commit even murder in the mind against the things that slam us day after day.
And, if I’m saying this and it doesnt apply to ‘us’ as the majority and to you two as I think, then just blow it off. If it does apply at least upon base lines of reaching our selfishness to just want to live our lives, love freely, have the same base wants of sex, experience, food, interacting by getting back to the days where we could hang out without having to worry about saying the wrong thing and setting off a hellstorm; back to the days where we it didn’t matter what we believed or how we believed it and in the concept of adapting without adapting, having that blend with it having to matter what we believe and how we believe it. That if you’re like me where you face the constant scrutiny of everything you’re doing being wrong, that things continually slam you even in the midst of arguing things you know to be at least on the right path to being more right as you’ve seemingly been doing in this thread, maybe we can find some semblance of group support at least to knock down the mutual enemies of the majority of time and space and take them down notch by notch.