What is it like being an American?
It feels great, America is the best. Bastion of freedom and opportunity and all that.
Kris, if you had said, “laugh in” then I would have gotten the reference.
Gib, hurry and give me some philosophy questions for the stripper. She’s in there showering so now’s your chance.
How 'bout the tree falling in the forest question. ← you can embellish it.
Or we could take one of Turd’s questions like: Why aren’t the oceans tea? Or: if someone takes your virginity, where does it go?
Or we could stick with my original: what is it like to suffer the angst of post-industrial man under late capitalism?
Or just go to my Philosophy with Children thread and take anything from there.
…
Is she still in the shower?
Sorry. Wrong thread.
Ok then. 
Thank you then.
Today, the said “9 days” are over.
[tab]
[/tab]
Happy birthday, Magnus Anderson.
Gib, sorry I didn’t get back in time. She left this afternoon. I’ll come up with something funny next time. Like I’ll try and get her to explain the analytic/synthetic distinction in the words of a stripper.
Really? She didn’t stay in the shower for the whole day? Well, shucks…
Anyway, let’s hash this out. How do you think you’d pose the question to her… in “stripper” terms?
I hope she starts charging you double from not on, Smears. 
I emphasize that was Turd’s question, not mine.
Pandora, I think you’re confusing, “stripper” with, “prostitute”. Way to shame a woman for her choices though. Bigot.
I’ve explained philosophy to hundreds of idiots over the years. It shouldn’t be too much of a challenge. I’ll come up with something though. She told me the other day that she masturbated twice in the last few days while thinking about how I say things that in her words, “move her mind from one place to another”. Everyone who’s ever met me, for the most part, comments about my intelligence within the first few minutes of speaking to me. I still always take it as a compliment. I always think about how you guys at ilp don’t get to know me in real life, and how that makes me kind of feel bad for you all. If you only knew the tone of my voice, the quickness that I have on my feet in conversation, my ability to read people and interact on my own terms with them. Honestly, I’d probably blush. I’m just so good at life in general. I got a fortune cookie when I was a kid that said, “your winsome smile will be your sure protection”. It was right. I dunno man, I just wake up every day and I piss excellence.
I mean I’m sure there are people around who disagree with my views, or who think I’m an asshole, but even the worst of them know I’m like some kind of rare genius. For a long time, hell, for most of my life I just kept quiet and listened. I didn’t raise my hand in college for the first 3 years, but then one day I realized that I have a huge advantage that I was just born into, and I just said fuck it and owned that shit.
Philosophy makes her horny, huh?
Smears-deprivation is a tough thing to go through, but we manage to get by. 
I’m happy for you Smears, but you do realize that a bit of humbleness could make that go even further–unless you’re trying to come off as a major egoist to get more people to hate you.
sigh I wish it was that simple for me. I admire your self-confidence, Smears.
BTW, do you still do a lot of drugs? Acid? Mushrooms? Cannabis?
Here’s a little music for everyones ears. From Smears to you.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MA_-F_9mRmw[/youtube]
I want my 12 seconds back, dude
I’m inviting the abyss to expand my nest.
Time only moves in one direction. This is basic stuff. Wanting the impossible is like, well, dumb. There’s a lot of philosophy out there about both those truths. Go and read that shit.