Yes, and that’s the whole point of this exercise–to attach myself to healthy things, not unhealthy things. The two things which are holding me back in my life are the drugs and my book. If I can get these things done and over with, there will be very little left holding me back. I’ll still be addicted to breathing, but that don’t hold me back. I’ll still be addicted to my children, but they don’t hold me back. If I can get myself addicted to extreme sports, paranormal experiences, building my business, not only will those not hold me back, but they will be the very things I want to strive towards.
Here’s the question, I guess, that comes next, after this following statement: What you call healthy addictions are still to distract your mind from thinking about the things you’re running from. That being said, the question: What will you do when years past this point, your book is done, the drugs behind you and the nightmares come back, the thoughts come back, the insecurities, the fears, the overwhelming forces? The fact is that while doing drugs, you are already addicted to extreme sports of a variety; paranormal experiences of a variety, and the continued decimation of your psyche and if you run from them now, when they recur, and they will recur, they will still hold you back at a much more crucial and critical point of your life.
You are addicted beyond breathing, and not just addicted; because if it was just addiction, then walking away from drugs would be just a matter of dealing with withdrawals, but it isn’t just addiction because you like the drugs, don’t want to quit except you believe that they are ruining your life based on what people tell you. What will you do when it hits you the same while completely sober and isn’t just a flashback or a ptsd experience, but the sheer fact that things weren’t done with you. You are addicted to the idea that quitting drugs entirely will help you, and in a way, it can, but only if you recognize what its’ helping. Separation anxiety, bipolar, anger, fear, pain, temptation. And, did you know that even if you quit, you’ll never 100% walk away. You say to attach yourself to healthy things, but even those healthy things can kill. What kills us is often the very same thing we survived with for ages, or the very same thing that cures us. And, it’s not like you can just jump ship from the track you’re in, with your book at the least. You’ll keep pushing your limits to finish it in unhealthy manners until you push through breaking points like I did in my life with my pursuit. Oh, I rush and rush until life’s no fun; all I gotta do is live and die, but I rush and rush and don’t know why.
I’m not sure what kind of psychological process you’re referring to here, so I can’t really answer this. In any case, it doesn’t sound like the kind of thing that the drugs help. Do you seriously recommend continuing the drugs?
This whole thread, RF, is an experiment. The whole point is to see what the result of a drug-free life are. I’m giving myself that year and a half (or thereabouts) beginning summer 2018. ← If during that year and a half, I find that everything you say above is right, that quitting the drugs didn’t help in the slightest (or made my life worse), that will answer the question, it will be the results I was looking for. I’m doubting your right, but that’s the point of experimenting.
the result of a drug-free life is the same as a life filled with drug use: death. You will experience the same things you have experienced on drugs while sober, but you will experience them differently because you are sober. You will experience some things the same and some things so different as to leave you unable to find the connecting bind and tie to something you know until later on.
You can doubt me all you want, but time WILL tell. It’s what I’ve come to expect of so many stubborn shitheads in the world around me, that I can tell them any truth I want and they will still stubbornly and thick-headed try to prove me wrong even after extensive evidence. Just to, ‘see for themselves’. Which is one of the main reasons why we can’t have perfection. it’s not that we can’t reach it; we’re too stubborn.
You do realize that, from my perspective, you’re just a dumb schmuck on the internet. You must have some inflated image of yourself to prance around thinking that everyone should bask in your wisdom just because you say so. If you actually had evidence, which you don’t, that might help. Since you don’t, I’ve got to collect my own evidence, and that’s what I’m doing. Yes, I’ve got to “see for myself” ← I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I do realize that your perspective is that of an insulted monkey. I didn’t insult you, did I? Must have been something you misread and just assumed I insulted you. Must be that I said something you just didn’t like. You say the same thing as so many others, that I just expect people to do what I say JUST because I say so and that I expect people to bask in my wisdom. If only you can so many others could actually take back the words in bitterness spoken that they knew were not the truth; if only they and you could have bitten your tongues. All you had to do was ask and I could have given you my fieldwork study on the effects of methamphetamines. I could have gone into detail about my own sobriety, my dabblings with marijuana, etcetera. I could have described each experience I had, how I experienced it while going through it and what I learned when looking back on that with new experience. I could have gone above and beyond, if you had only asked with the intent to sincerely listen and take to heart. I was speaking of people in general, and meant no disrespect by calling them stubborn and thick-headed. It can be a good thing, when properly used.
And, you know, for all that I am and all that I do, I could easily have an inflated image of self. But, you are right, I completely just prance around just like trixie; just like you.
And good for you… you go see for yourself and you go live it because you haven’t experienced it for yourself, disregarding whatever you might hear about it.
What really got you the most was the deflating of self-image you had when I gut-punched you with the truth about you not wanting to quit, only that you want to quit because it scares you some times, but you like and love the drugs beyond the addiction, beyond the habit. Go ahead and quit like every time you didn’t get your fix in time, go through the withdrawals; by all means, live your life, but don’t sit here and get pissy just because I respond to what you said publicly with knowledge and experience. Don’t make me smack you upside the head. Actually, forget that. Make me smack you upside the head, it’ll be good for you.
I love how you make fun of what I said about death being the end result no matter what. Why are you laughing and rolling your eyes? You think I’m being dramatic when I’m just being blunt and to the point? You will have to face your own mortality eventually and deal with your fears. I do know what you’re running from beyond just death, beyond staring it down. I do know that you, like so many others, loathe coming to confession. You think I found it easy when I hit my knees and found myself, even desiring to do so, confessing things I never actually confessed in the heart of myself, never told a single soul; never thought about with intent or focus. To name them one by one as they came. Do you think I find the truth easy to tell or easy to accept? If you do, it’s because it has become so for me through years of effort. And still, I refuse to speak lies. I do enough of that unintentionally. I know your arrogance and pride and it will be your downfall. You’ll go back to the drugs, even if you quit for a couple months. You’ll hit a point where you’ll think, just one or two hits, or just this one time shouldn’t hurt; I’m doing so well.
I want you to ask me how I know this to be true. I want you to ask me just how bad tobacco withdrawals are. I want you to ask me how I’m doing with methamphetamines and I want you to know that I do just up and walk away from them when I choose to and even easier when I don’t have the choice but to. That I can face withdrawals from that that are comparable to 103 degree fevers that nearly killed me years ago that I just brush off and sweat out and still move around as if it’s just a passing thing, like food poisoning.
All any of it is is pain tolerance. Run, run little horse, but there is no escape, there is no hiding.
You: black people suck. Oh, what’s that? You’re offended because you happen to be a black person? Well, I was talking about black people in general, not you. And besides, sucking can be a good thing when properly used.
Prance around doing what? That’s the question. At least I “prance around” doing real philosophy. You just prance around bitching and moaning about how you’re so misjudged.
You go ahead and try. Reach through the internet and do it.
HA! Now I know you don’t know a thing about me.
There are no withdrawal symptoms from marijuana or alcohol unless you’re a chronic user, which I’m not. Caffeine withdrawal is a few days of fatigue, sluggish thought, and irritability (basically being cranky). ← That I’ve been through many times. Your story about enduring withdrawal doesn’t impress me.
Run from what? Does this have anything to do with that big secret you have, the one you claim we’re all in denial about, the one that, when asked, you won’t reveal?
^ You are a little tease, aren’t you? If you’ve got something to say, come out and say it. Do just sit there and tell me “I want you to ask me blah, blah, blah.”
I meant ‘insulted monkey’. I swear that the tech team on this forum has tech I’ve seen before in being able to change what someone says after they post it.
Anyway, I’m tired of this song and dance, as I’ve said and told to others. Here’s the thing, you respond too much to the insults that aren’t even insults but bait. You bite the bait too much and fail to actually respond to the meat of it and then, when you do, you respond to it with tinges of negativity, pessimism, etc. which is destroying the world and you know it, but can’t help yourself, which is another feedback loop, another back and forth like I exampled recently in Kropotkin’s thread, ‘new theory of blah, blah and blah’. You need to work on breaking that feedback loop otherwise you’re going to be doomed to responding these same ways every time until you do, which is a downward spiraling self-fulfilling prophecy of the worst sort. Now, if you’re going that way on purpose, then I understand that you have a glimmer of an idea or two which could be the beginnings of genius or madness and it is a good thing they go hand in hand. But, I do think the few going that way on purpose with a reason are a few and all the others that might get caught up in it are just the ones that get caught up in it. I’m personally tired of seeing too many people focus more on the insults which shouldn’t even be insulting and hone in on those until they’re all that they see; tired of seeing people trap themselves in that shit and I’m getting to the point where I’m able to see it and recognize it and address it. That’s learning and growing over time through so much shit and I take personal solace in that at the least instead of focusing on how long it took to get to this point. It’s frustrating as Hell.
It wasn’t a typo and did need to explain it, because it originally read ‘insulting monkey’ instead of ‘insulted monkey’, which is a huge difference in meaning where one is more insulting than the other. And, when such a ‘typo’ is made on my part, it’s usually one such as that that isn’t a typo at all.
Gib, I’m going to tear you a new one and you’re going to hate me. You’re going to get sucked right back into drugs. They’re going to drag you back down. The alcohol will consume you. Your book will fail because of change of direction, you will simply give up on it and walk away. Your attention will wander as you learn more and more and ‘see what the world is like’ which will further serve to cement in your mind that every bit of the book you’ve been writing was meaningless and full of shit. You’ll die surrounded by friends that aren’t friends, family that isn’t family and you will know what it’s like to truly be alone, by that time, bitter and jaded, hateful and mean. In the afterlife, you will become worse and you’ll go down a trail of evil and insanity until you get to a point where something, not me, comes along and smacks the fuck out of you, which isn’t going to fix you or make you less bitter, jaded, hateful and mean. It will further push your into those things and you’ll keep getting hammered like an unwanted woody.
Your life is a mess, you’re barely holding it together; barely hanging on by a thread. You keep slipping and know it, are striving to keep your head above water in a world that you know is waiting to eat you alive and you don’t have it in you to overcome your downward spiral into self-fulfilling prophecy and where, for some, saying these things would galvanize them into actually succeeding, saying these things to you will destroy you the rest of the way. There is no deception or falsity spoken here this day or in this thread on my behalf. You just weren’t doing a good enough job of making yourself fail and you really picked the wrong motherfucker to step to with trolling. So, excuse me while I tear you down the rest of the way and don’t expect things to happen right away. It’s a long, slow burn that will take years and all of a sudden you’ll find yourself in too far above your head, lost in the drugs, discarded papers and works scattering as you chase the high and the addiction. All because you never had it in you in the first place.
It’s that time again. It’s been 3 months since I did my strictly caffeine drug diet, and now it’s time for another round. This will be the second last one. So what should I do this time: strictly cannabinoids or strictly alcohol?
Well, I’m thinking that since Season 3 of Rick and Morty come out this summer, and since I’m fond of watching them for the first time stoned, I think I’ll go with the cannabinoids. Though Roiland and Harmon keep pushing the season premier back, and there’s no word on a release date anywhere on google, it may not come out until the fall or even winter. But just in case, I’d like to be able to watch it stoned.
Do drugs. You want drugs. You want them. They’re calling to you. You love them. They love you. They called 50 times in the middle of the night that one time they were all cracked out, didn’t you get the messages? Of course you did, you responded, because you needed the action. You were sexually frustrated, they promised a good time. Like the sucker you are, you thought you could get back together with an ex-lover without the drama. It’s knocking on your door with a baseball bat, now. COME OUT MOTHERFUCKER, it yells. You called the police three times already but they’re having none of it. They’re urging you to take your medicine.
