And yet you still learned much from me in your pursuit of understanding Aristotle. There are so many people older than me for me to learn from and even put myself in their perspectives and perceptions, you’re just another one among the bunch. Think I don’t understand you? Think I don’t see you clearly? I’ve always seen you and where you are.
I say fuck anarchy, fuck chaos, fuck order, fuck balance and fuck imbalance, fuck discipline and fuck the lack of it, fuck nietzsche and hume and schopenhaur and kierkegaard and goethe and kazantakis, fuck religion and christianity, fuck buddhism and taoism, fuck the peasants and royals both, fuck the dead and fuck the living, fuck even the philosophers you don’t know and the strong men you’ve never heard of, fuck darwin and his darwinism; fuck government, fuck the establishment, fuck heaven and fuck hell and fuck man and fuck woman and fuck the universe, fuck the earth.
What spark is in you that drives your curiosity, that consumes you with your supposed desires that you chase rampant through the mire? You say you’ve been caught chasing those men and God for 40 years of life? And now you’re chasing man? If such foolish goals you have, to go chasing cheshire cats, trying to catch smoke on the wind, you missed the very important factor that some things, most things; you have to let come to you when they choose to. You think that spark of life can’t be nipped out while you still live? Can’t be revived even in death beyond and without the flesh and what do you suppose gives that spark of life it’s shine instead of its dullness?
You think I try to frighten you or scare you or are those so many words to push in my way to distract me as you run some more, or is it a trap to get from me some more of what gave you reason to leave your old life behind in search of new, at 58 years old?
And I’ve taught you nothing at all? I’m the child that must learn more from you? Why? Who are you that I should learn more from? I’ve seen the works of the men that you were caught up in for 40 years and all their works paled before mine, were but a step behind me every time I looked in and read them. They have always just been a backdrop; no wonder you put them behind after 40 years of pursuing them once I crossed your path for all the world like a will o the wisp you had grown so tired of chasing into the boggy mire of the dangerous swamps and fens of the world you sought to know beyond what you should. And did you not listen to the haunting melodies of do not tempt and do not test and do not underestimate the almighty.
You can look all around you, in fact, you will look all around you, in every man and woman you run across and all you’ll find is a pale imitation spark of what’s inside of me; a mimicry that seeks to match the intensity; new life breathed into flesh to combat, for a moment, the decadence and in each person you view with your own new vision, you create anew and add your own touches for what you perceive to see in them whether it was there before or not.
you were born with a physical handicap, had to fight your way into it, I’m sure, against insecurity, doubt, fear, hatred, etc. I was born with a handicap of the mind and spirit, besieged and set upon the very moment of my inception in the womb, and have helped create the universe and its system of checks and balances, from a young age cutting my teeth not just on my enemies, but on time travel and alternate reality theory, and forming theories to put the elite of time and space to shame.
You are, however, ready for your next lesson in pain and humility. And, I think I’ve got just the thing for it as I invite your demons in knowingly and give them refuge and a place to rest for the moment. The ones that have chased you throughout your life, that have flitted from person to person that you’ve ran into until you guessed a conspiracy on all levels. They had an easy job of following you around and making you think whatever you wanted of everyone around you, perceive whatever they caused you to perceive, even jump into others bodies and taunt you with the things that bothered you the most.
Pursue your knowledge of man, your obsession, you will look and all you will see is whatever it is in the moment you choose to allow yourself to see that only reinforces everything else you’ve learned and you will learn the abject hard way of just what will be come to pass that you already know is coming and hide from yourself to continue down the path of least resistance, least pain, only to knowingly trap yourself in feeling the pain and thinking that it’s better that way.
But I’ve got a slap or two to give you before you get too far down that path; a thing or two to hash out and might not get the chance in this life time, never can tell when the moment comes or doesn’t until it does or doesn’t. Best not to make too many plans. But, while I’m here and in this place, as I’ve already been able to claim that you would still be stuck where you were if not for me, I can similarly claim that if you want to continue strutting about in arrogance and pride and cockiness, be sure that I have not even done so once. You want a pissing contest, or so it seems, but can you even bring it to bear, do you even still know how to handle a loaded gun? Be careful it doesn’t misfire on you.