What Is Anger, and Why Should We Care?

Do you believe that anxiety or fear is more tolerable than anger?

There is a lot of provocation in adversarial politics. The one who loses his cool also loses his moral ground and is labeled the bad guy.

Unless you’re doing a preemptive strike in self-defense. :laughing:

Anxiety is definitely more tolerable than anger because it can be controlled better

Let’s not forget that his life is not that solitary. He posts on ILP and it might be possible that he has both television and radio. All three are influences which might contribute to anger if he allows it, if he allows this and that to get to him. I don’t think he lives in a vacuum.

Tooth implants. They are cool.

And slippers.

I contest that anger is voluntary. You can control your behaviour, but you can’t control your emotions. At least not directly.

It is true that anger is unnecessary. But you get angry anyhow. It’s not in you to stop your own anger. Unless it’s in you, like in some people.

People often don’t recognize the difference between angry behaviour and anger. If more people recognized that, there would be no discussion here on anger right now.

Angry behaviour is emotional and social. Anger, the feeling, is only emotional.

In absolutes, the answer is undeterminable. Because all three manifest on a scale of intensity. Intense anger is worse than mild anxiety; and intense anxiety is worse than mild anger.

If you’re asking questions such as “is emotion X more tolerable than emotion Y?” then it means you have a problem regulating your emotions.

Though, it is true, you might find certain emotions easier to regulate than others.

My point being that no emotion that is regulated is a problem.

In general, no action that is regulated is a problem.

The kind of action – irrelevant.
The intensity of action – irrelevant.

What is relevant?
Whether it is regulated or not.

Regulated/unregulated determines good/bad.

What does it mean that an action is regulated?
That it corresponds to the expected.

Before one acts, one forms an expectation of how one will act. This expectation, this prediction, is what we call goal.

Good means the outcome matches the expectation.

Bad means the outcome does not match the expectation.

We make expectations, we posit goals, every step of the way.

Every step is a goal.
Every step is preceded by an expectation and then compared against it in order to determine whether it is a success or a failure.

This applies to emotions.
Before emotions kick in, we have certain expectations.
And if our emotions contradict these expectations, then we feel overwhelmed.

The solution is to understand your emotions.
To map them so that you can predict them in the future.

@ -1-

I didn’t write this.

I may not live in a vacuum but I am a loner and have no family or friends and spend most of my time on my own. I post here and elsewhere
because I am interested in diversity of opinion and particular subject matter. I do not really let anything anyone says on television or radio
or the internet affect me. I am practically unshockable. Any anger I do experience is put out very quickly so is kept to an absolute minimum

I was watching the series "The Fall’ and the quote below was mentioned.

“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” Margaret Atwood, author

Violence is essentially a male domain, I am not saying women do not get angry, “a woman scorned and all that”, but the ‘experts’ say women handle emotion differently. There is for example, quite a bit of anger directed towards feminist groups, by men and this is an indication that men’s anger towards women is still very much alive and well. One just has to source relevant topics on this, on online Forums and there is no holding back by men to say things they probably would not say in real life about women.

That quote resonated in me and I thought there was an element of truth in it, women are afraid of what men can do to them.

Whereas, “men are afraid that women will laugh at them”, what say you men, is this true?

Specifically insecure men with a propensity for violence although all men [ and women ] have the capacity to kill

Do you have a view on this question?

Of course, but for some reason I don’t feel nearly as threatened by a woman as I would be if it was a man.

Fair enough. I got mixed up with the quotation system. I apologize.

There is no consensus here how to use the quotation HTML. There are at least two different kinds, one is more straightforward and less ambiguous than the other.

It becomes a real problem with nested quotes and with removing parts of nested quotes.

In short, I hate my life.

-1-

Why - if that is true?

That aside, do you sometimes experience fear that women or a woman will laugh at you?

I do not fear that women or men will laugh at me.

But when I get snickered at, esp. by a group, or by a group of two, and they try to hide it, it angers me.

It happened recently at a StarBucks in London, where I live. The entire staff could not wipe off the smirk off their faces when they faced me. It was horrible. To add insult to insult, I always leave a hefty tip for getting coffee there.

I haven’t been back since. It’s not ridicule I fear; it’s disrespect that angers me.

Some animals, like dogs, also can or do pick up more aggession from human males’ presence than form females’.

Maybe the smell of testosterone functions like frear-inducing, threatening forewarning. While the smell of estrogen is soothing, calming.

Did you think that they were being more dishonest by hiding it?

Why do you think they were laughing in the first place?

But you’re right and that kind of disrespect is neither intelligent nor humane.

-1- wrote:

Go back.

Have your coffee, do not tip them and when leaving look them in the eye and with your best smile say, “have a nice day”.