Creepy Shit Heard In Mariana Trench

I don’t propose a science to give evidence to a system of organon, but the opposite.

Satan exists. He is a killer whale in the Shanghai OceanFestZoo. There is also a pork-and-quimbala dish in Zhiungzhiu province, which is called Sa Tan Egg Sis 'Ts. Which, in English, literally means, “Pork and quimbala meal wickedly good.”

Jesus exists. And he saves. There is a goalie in the Uruguay national soccer team, called Jesus Gomez Gonzalves. (His name is actually Jesus Salvadore Zeuss Gomez Dunaujvarosi Gonzalves Libertato Totto Putto Zins.) Every time he makes a save, the announcer screams, “the shot was on goal, but Jesus saves!”

While we are at it, the Vatican National Bank has a TV ad campaign, and the recurrent logo is, “Jesus saves. Why can’t you? Let us show you how.”

Are you Chinese, based in China? We never had a real Chinese person here, best we can pull off is Jerkey, and he is a bootleg Chinese at best.

Five seconds commanding is one thing, actually performing mass murder is another thing.

The biggest problem that Satan, as well as God, faces, is that nobody listens to him any more. It’s pretty sad and lonely these days to be a deity, or the opposite. In fact, as a god, you might as well be dead.

Typo. That should read “humorous pet squid ate them.”

To eat anything requires a sense of humour.

Gyger counter! My dream job.

If you tie a bag of bricks to your feet and jump off a Pacific cruise ship, you can apply in person.

Well, you’d need a LOT of intelligence to live in those conditions. A dumb animal could not adapt. “When the tuff gets going…”

I, for one, am not smart enough to survive on my wits alone 10 km down below the waters.

Just barely under 11 km actually.

Probably very true. But I still see them doing water cooler chatting, drawing Venn diagrams and forcibly taking out live babies from their females’ tummies. These are universal, homogeneously spread-out skills throughout the cosmos.

What’s “under 11 Km” when you are 10 Km down? About a Km still under you, or everything above you?

KM is always beneath me, I’m American, I dislike the metric system. I prefer my distances made in heterosexual, God approved miles.

I tried that already… you know how hard it is to jump around with a bag of bricks tied to your feet? I have a hard enough time jumping around without any ballasts, thank you very much.

Can I instead jump off said cruise ship above the Marinara trench with a bag of a weather balloon tied to my feet? The worst that could happen would be to fall up,instead of down. But jumping itself, as an activity into its own, would be a szincs.

I vote for weather balloon.

No, Bin Laden managed to do it, and he was dead, so you can you.

A weather can’t lift you, at best it would keep you from sinking till the sharks rip you apart. That’s such a bad way to go.

I’m metric all the way. “Nine (9) cm” certainly sounds much more encouraging than “two and a half inches”. Then again, a yard stick rules. (This was a friggin’ pun.)

3 1/2 inches.

This is what happens when people try to juggle two systems of measurements, confusion of a lesser, incongruent emerges. I think space exploration should only be done in miles. This way we don’t make the universe appear smaller than it really is.

Turd Ferguson, our own resident Christian science monitor. :laughing:

That would depend upon whether they ever finally discovered liberalism. :-k

Liberalism is a basic alienable American Human Right of every American citizen.

Yeah… with every new discovery of a new planet, or galaxy, or constellation, the world shrinks a little bit.

As the ancient did not use to say, but we do, “it’s a small world.” I support you. Let’s not make it any smaller. Pretty soon you stretch in bed and you are pushing a galaxy with your feet five centimetres-- appardon, two inches away from your solar system.

This is what “entropy” is all about. Everything gets smaller, until so small, that there is nothing left of it. Like a Christmas cake, or a penis after sex.