The body is the temple (progress thread)

i wondered why you were online much more, but thought it not my business to ask. Again… none of my business, but merely a suggestion… try keeping the heater running during the cold months, or even burn some logs.

Ha call an ambulance maybe?

Can Americans call an ambulance without insurance? or that’ll be one huge bill coming there way.

Oh yeah, they pay for that…ok fuck it, just let him die…probably isn’t going to contribute a whole lot to society anyway.

Once it doesn’t become mandatory to to up for obamacare, I will go to the VA. I talked to two vets outside the VFW by my house, both had to sign up before getting care. Same with the free clinic, they force you on it first. Hospital won’t see you unless it is a life and death emergency, and then they will bill you afterwards (I’m fine with that).

I just don’t want to contribute to the idea it is a good thing to disregard the constitution for selfish reasons. I want the Origination Clause reasserted and for the courts to respect congress. I didn’t make these rules, but I don’t turn my back on them just because it becomes inconvenient. You start down that road, country will soon collapse and joker wins. Ironically, I could of had this surgery done many ways under the preobama care system legally. We live in a very twisted age.

I have been banned from weights and cardio by my physio clinic, and only allowed assigned physio exercises and leisurely walks until further notice. :neutral_face: I guess the lowered state of respiration/metabolism I’m in is keeping me in suspended animation or a kind of stasis if you will… like insects caught in amber.

Did you have your doctor check your spots as Thyroid related vitiligo yet? It goes away for that varient with meds.

I can’t have any meds… I’m allergic to all chemicals, remember… even the minutest amounts.

I never get a chance to ask much because our meetings are structured and she watches and analyses my every move, breathe, and comment, so I am too busy being uncomfortable and self-aware to remember to ask anything, but I have wrote it down so that I won’t forget, and will mention it next time… I’m also going to Google it now, and read up on it.

She said my readings don’t make sense… because the current set of symptoms have no observable cause, so my lowered readings will be checked by endocrinology as a routine measure when readings don’t correlate with symptoms, but I guess there are no allergy tests for a toxic environment, only observable ones.

I will get to meet other CFers at a weekly (or was it monthly) CBT group meeting soon before they are able to allocate me my own, and it will be interesting to hear how they feel physically and cope mentally, but from what I have read so far our physical aspects are similar but I have no idea about their coping aspects. After yesterday’s clinic allocations meeting the future looks better, but I won’t be doing cartwheels just yet.

CBT, are you talking about the London based medical group that Jules Evans more or less runs? He is the top Stoic Philosopher in London, forums the London Philosophy Group.

You don’t need expensive meetings to get over your Chemophobia. He and I aren’t the same branch of Stoicism, I follow a more conservative, Cynic base version- but he himself didn’t invent CBT. He is the only london based medical practitioner I’m aware of in your area doing this.

mobile.twitter.com/julesevans77?lang=en

That him?

Any who, yeah, your deeply irrational fear of chemicals is by no means reality based, and I’m right and your certainly in the wrong. You are 100% chemically based, and you retain a shitload of chemicals by merely breathing. OCD is a bitch, but this doesn’t preclude you from having or for the matter not having, Thyroid issues.

Best advice I can offer is contact him directly, you’ll get much more respect for your interests in CBT if he knows you moderate here, much less if he actually sees your posts. He has a very wide network, not all are Christian Stoa, he has been doing this for years, you’ll likely enjoy the community, they like CBT because it comes close to aspects of Stoa philosophy. Not so much my branch, but hey, I’m not opposed.

Or you can follow my advice in letting the damn cat roam around at night,touching your things like a cat is supposed yo,hetying hair all over, and chew or swollow the fucking medicines they prescripbe to you,and dont insist your allergic to ALL CHEMICALS, cause your fucking not, your just bring a little bitch letting your OCD dominate you, and nobody is impressed with your bullshit excuses, just do it now!

Jules has considerable more tact than me, so is more experienced in bullshitting the likes of you till telling you one day in collapsed frustration to do essentially the same fucking thing I said.

Please don’t make the doctor have to watch you swallow the damn pill, open your mouth then speak afterwards, while smoshing your ckeeks to make sure your taking your meds. It can be arranged if it has to be done. You are clearly a pain in the ass patient.

…and you have no idea what you are on about.

Do you have any idea what I said?

It seems that you do not know how our NHS system here works, and instead of asking you conjecture.

OCD? Jules? Do you think I would put my health care in the hands of random groups and people? I have no idea where you have conjured your above scenario from, but please stop attempting to give me advice… your rediculous advice.

I will not be engaging with you further on this matter… you are an idiot, and in turn you think I am one too.

I will share this with the group, when I eventually meet them, and see if they have any comparative stories to share on how average minds cannot get to grips with our illness, and that such minds would rather conjecture every other scenario than the one that is actually present before them and then we will laugh, and I have not been prescribed any medication so more conjecture on your part, and our health professionals respect my adult patient boundaries and communicate with me accordingly so no cheek smooshing let alone touching… boundaries are maintained.

If I cannot open minds, I prefer to close doors.

Yeah, that’s Jules Evans group.

You really should just listen instead of rushing to emotional judgement:

Your undertaking the very program he helped pathfind for the UK. Be awesome if you read into context, and admittedly while I may not of experirmed your shitty NHS, I know that you gotta go through a lengthy referral process and don’t have the range of choices you would prefer, and options are constantly undercut, which is the universal default for any socialized system of medicine. Your associated a false sense of self through your chemophobia, it has been blantantly apparent for the longest time given your absurd obsessions and fears, and it undoubted annoys your medical practitioners to no end.

I recommend again, just head out to the next meeting of the London Philosophy Group, twitter Jules to see if he will be there, and ask him about CBT. Believe it or not, your dealing with those crazy fucks on your own, with or without me, he is the best in this practice in your country for the solle fact he hyper specializes and practices it legally in your country in a bona fide medical capacity. Your fucking being sent to them, might as well go to the local head Buddha of your CBT order and straight up ask him. He is very easy to talk to, we’ve talked a bunch of times via email. Cost me jack shit as I wasn’t a patient, just a fellow philosopher.

No need to run around beating yourself with sticks. Your obviously wrong and emotional outbursts won’t make you right. Your not allergic to all chemicals, a fuckimg non-organic vegetable won’t make you sick if you wash it- 100% certain of that, and CBT is fucking CBT. I happen to know just a bad little bit about it, just a smidgion. Tiny winey, itsy bitsy.

Quit being so predictable, drop your defended, and look him up, he is local. He is one of the top public figures in London in philosophy circles. He is very approachable. He will not force feed you celery like I would to cure you.

Technically, Turd saved my life, unintentionally, so it is up to the God’s to grant him one last favor.

Was it the celery Trixie?

No

Okay, keep me in the dark, see if I save your life again.

Well, it was your posts telling me not to be a faggot. It was a snowstorm, and normally my feet would freeze. But about an hour before I looked at this girl and had sexual thoughts about her body. I never did bang her or actualize my desire, but I didn’t go back to my usual feminine state of jealousy and despair about it. Instead, I started to force manly hiking exploration, marching music and classical music in my head. And my feet did not freeze and I had to walk 5 miles home. When I got home I cried tears of joy, I felt like I was great and powerful, part of Nature itself.

I have already been referred: the new physio and CBT clinics I will be attending are under the CF Clinic umbrella at an NHS hospital where the CF service is run from, so I am not attending any thing outside of that apart from my current physio and CBT NHS-led clinics which are still ongoing and which I need. I have yet to see if I will need to drop these when the specialised/tailored ones start, or if they will work in conjunction… it is my call.

It is a structured programme, to mirror my now structured life, and I have no idea if I will be able to keep up with the pace… but I am willing to give it a go for the sake of alleviation.

Now I have a phobia? Addressing the illness has given me a truer sense of self, as alleviating the symptoms through diet has lifted the mental fog I was in, but the fatigue still remains, which is causing my body to prioritise and subsequently reduce its internal functions. The specialist CF consultants are there to help us, and we help them understand the illness better in return.

How would talking to him about CBT help me? Is he a CF specialist? as the only people I want to deal with right now are those who have specialised in and have a full understanding of the illness and the patients’ very specific needs.

Is your answer to the problem for me to immerse myself in everything that is making me sick? consume everything unselectively a’la bachanal? function indiscriminately without thought of impact on health? acquaint myself with people I know nothing about and explain myself to them in a non-CF CBT group? No! No! and No!

Thanks, but I am getting all the help and advice I need :wink:

I won’t be looking him up in this context, but in a general philosophy context… sure.

Celery? is it organic? a cure all for all ills?

Having now gone back to a 100% paleo eating regimen, I can now add physio back in as of today, so physio while dinner cooks it is :stuck_out_tongue:

Oh, um…

I know this guy named Mannikin, he has a thread called “The Body Is The Temple” thread. I would look into buying some testosterone stickers at GNC, and trade workout tips on how to buff up a bit, you’ll get those impulses more, and can make actual physical gains as a result. I think he would make a excellent internet workout buddy for you, because he will likely grasp more about making a switch regarding sex hormones. It is quite possible to make this turn around, one of your Nietzschean buddies, Yukio Mishima, went from bring a despondent skinny gay guy into BDSM and said fuck it, he wanted a woman. So he started working out constantly, became a muscle builder, got a woman interested in him- she accepted his weird situation of bring a gay guy who could only ejaculate if he was imagining dying or being tortured by other men, and he had children.

Yes, he never stopped being gay, would revert occasionally to that lifestyle, but his wife accepted him because he did love her, obviously made a effort to keep her around, and was a father… at least until he launched a coup against the Japanese government in front of the news media, then for no reason whatsoever had a friend hastily cut his fucking head off in front of the confused as fuck captured general.

Obviously sexual kinks, cross dressing, etc it doesn’t fade completely. Any woman you find is gonna have to accept that your gonna occasionally do that, just how memories work, they creep back in, take over. If you want a woman though, a serious one, I say keep marching. I spent a year of my life barely able to walk without a bad limp, homeless, just carrying a pack rebuilding my leg. A healthy look is a prerequisite to a decent woman, nothing wrong with your natural, God given physique, given your ancestors managed to breed using the same genes you have.

I think Manni would make a excellent friend in this transition period, and that you should seek feedback from the women on the forum from time to time about how your looking, your mannerisms, etc. They k or your not gonna come out looking like Fabio, but I think they will all be rooting for you and will offer suggestions to you. Every woman knows a fat woman who couldn’t find a man, started working out, lost weight, dolled up… then got a man, and they generally ate supportive of this.

It is possible. It isn’t like you won’t be able to pop a dress on if you absolutely must later on if you feel you have to. Your body is male, it is healthiest as male, your most attractive as a male, and it makes sense that women are going to be most responsive to you as a male, and dammit- your sperm production for baby making will work better without all those female hormones. They were always a crutch giving you a identity, but aren’t you. They can’t determine who you are, but they can seriously complicate your goals towards gaining a woman then family by your side. If you absolutely don’t want a woman, or kids, disregard me.