He divorced my mother, and went through a major personality change. I trust him completely with my nephew now. It is possible to change as a person.
My acceptance is categorical by what I know, but not my dislike. That is olfactory and visual. I think I’m unconsciously looking for hues or smells that trigger danger. Something I had to learn to do.
In your case, your just OCD, which matches up with your an all retentive attributes. Carleas like these traits in a moderator.
I’m OCD myself, but it is kept at bay with my Apraxia. Results in my problem solving fixation. But the OCD traits are always present. I’m just able to see the data sets tend to be silly to begin with, and have a wider skill set for getting around it as a result.
Imagine a 18th or 19th century army, consciously insistingbon behaving OCD… bulk of the men aren’t, but it is a institutional behavior that all decided works best for success.
What is discipline? Standing and marching stiff, stone faced. Absolutely can’t tolerate anything else. Absolute paranoid hysteria runs over everyone in keeping styles fitting to the abstracted category of discipline.
Army goes to war, wins a victory… wins another victory, more and more. Surely, discipline works.
Then the army gets it’s ass handed to it buy guys who say fuck that discipline shit… that isn’t actually discipline.
A period of shock occurs, discipline holds. Uncertainty arises, scapegoating other aspects occur.
They win victories again… orthodox discipline is not at fault, see!
Then they get their asses handed to them again, and their stereotype of discipline is up most mocked and targeted, and this time completely exploited.
Army is in disarray. That can’t possibly mean walking around like a stiff body fool with tall hats and ornamental facial hair does nothing to insure a army’s victory, can it?
A period of confusion and competing schools of thought emerge.
That confusion is a kind of apraxia… you are told to do something but don’t understand it, come up with the wrong response. A Hugh communicative breakdown, left doesn’t know what the right is doing. OCD aspects, out repetitive categorical fixations, start to be seen as absurd.
Your always gonna give preference, but the ability to diagnose a etiology beyond our fixations isn’t always obvious. The choice to do otherwise just isn’t there… yet.
It shouldn’t take a disaster for someone to change, to start to grow outward. Far too often, it is just that. Someone absolutely sure of their identity as their behavior, that their ways and means are right and always correct, is playing a very risky game, and their ego will snap once it runs into difficulties. They often fail to see the reasons they played so well or avoided disasters are attributed to other behaviors they can’t see in full.