Haven't slept for more than two hours in last few days

I know that. I’m sure I will hate her in it and it will break the spell.

See, I have a deeply childish side that my ability to rationalize has very little control over. I used to go to small playhouses a lot… one just opened near me oddly enough (playing cinderalla for it’s first show, I’m not watching Cinderella). The one by my old base in Alaska got used to me showing up everytime a new show would open, so the director invited me to a after hours party. I’m not a party person. I can host a party just fine, but dammit, never invite me. I turn into a wallflower, not because of low self esteem as is culturally presumed, but because my social capacity goes numb and us easily overwhelmed. I get aloof, want to leave, standing clenched fist or grinding my teeth.

Think Mr. Darcy, or James Bond… both INTJs (personality)… bad at parties unless in a mission.

So I’m at this party, know they are actors… they start talking. Accents… different. I knew this on a intellectual level, but a part of me was still shocked. I didn’t like it. They completely changed their character, and I was a fish out of water.

I like my actors staying typed casted. Makes it easier on me. I don’t like hearing Nicole Kidman talk like a normal American, then switch to a crazy Australian accent. I’m like ahhahaghghhhhh when I hear that. Why? I don’t know, and I usually know these things.

If I see her acting as a different person, that attraction is likely to collapse. Of course I know Jenna isn’t Clara, but a primitive aspect of me doesn’t.

I can only play the dynamic social extrovert when I have a clear mission at hand. I can’t do it otherwise. I can’t juggle women being Jekyll and Hyde in terms of attraction, and every actress wants to be just that.

Like, I never watched another Keira Knightley movie after Pride and Prejudice, as I’m content to leave her adorable in that movie. Unfortunately, I saw her in a movie as a angry Dyke mercenary… Domino… so I’m worried if I ever end up in a relationship with a woman like her in Pride and Prejudice… which sounds great… She can turn at anytime into a angry gun fitting bitch raging against society rmtdying to kill me.

Now like, this is admittedly women in general. They do both, but it bothers me. I don’t want to look at a friendly face I’m melting over, and wake up next to a psychotic years later. I wish I never saw Domino.

Maybe she’s not good enough to do a different character.

Maybe I won’t ever know the truth of the matter.

Besides, I think I liked her hair more than her personality, and Queen Elizabeth had some shitty hair. I’m easily tricked by nice hair, I really hate that about me.

Have you slept yet?

Yeah, I slept.

Gave your said more than one line yet?

Depends on how poorly I use my grammar.

I prefer to fling mine wildly, overcomes most language of philosophy issues by superior elan.

Sounds like something Trixie would do.

He says he isn’t that kind of Tranny. Drama queen tantrums are always heard, similar principle.

foxnews.com/entertainment/20 … years.html

Fucking Keira Knightly, wearing wigs to confuse guys like me.

I’m striking her off my list. No longer do I want to bone her/ think she is a great actress.

If a actress makes me want to sex her, she is a great actress, but the second I don’t want to, she is a terrible actress. It is how that works.

And that would make you a great actor.

How? How is me getting a boner every time I look at a pretty actress going to earn me a Oscar?

Honestly, I’ve been doing this for years, how do I cash in?

If your boner is proof of the greatness of acting, for acting is generic as an art form and not persona specific, then it must go both ways, and she is great for her talent in the ability to arouse you, nothing less, and her significance as an artist is focused in this area. Therefore, if so, then she serves no other function then a porn star.

Therefore, if this was the only focus of her acting ability, then you too must share in the act. But to believe this, given others’ already well known expose of Your talents, this would make you a great actor also, albeit one, who is only playing another role.

I wouldn’t go to the extent you can make money off it, but at least share in attributes which define both: you and her, in a reverse projection of limited roles.

There have been a steady readily available over exuberant fans, whose eagerness have resulted the fan’s elevation into the realm of notoriety. The play’the fan’ is a good example of it.

For a minute I thought you had me trapped.

Go into porn

And with a porn name like Turd Ferguson, you could get into German porn and start earning EUs.

I’d suggest Japanese porn. Heard they have a severe shortage of male pornstars…

I usually hate half the actresses I initially like. Like, I only like Amber Heard as a brunette, once as a blonde, then I saw her with a stupid haircut, and I was like… fuck no. I used to hate Johnny Depp as a actor, but ge stood up for his wife. Then his wife backstabbed him (same thing with Mel Gibson’s wife, they act all innocent when it happens, like ge just went nuts one day, obviously they drove them nuts, which makes their innocent game that much mire ugly and sinister)… so I think Depp still sucks as a actor, but is a better human for it. He moved up a notch above where he once stood for me.

Ummm… thing is, after all those years working security in fashion boutiques, Ive found women heavily rely on gay guys to make fashion choices for them… from clothes to makeup. Ive along time ago had to come to consider what Im liking isnt a woman looking natural, but a man remaking her into something another man could accept.

Of course I want to bone her badly in that scene. How much was it her acting though, and not being told exactly what to do in that Pride and Prejudice swing scene? Mr. Darcy is a INTJ, it is what everyone types him as being, and so am I. She was written as a clever love interest from a female perspective to attract a guy like me, so that introspective thought process in her is great too… but honestly, a good half of it is just her looks. Her hair was undoubtedly dyed, cut differently than she would of preferred. Her wardrobe was exactingly selected, for maximum appeal, setting and her journey and all background him drum.

What I have is Jane Austin crafting two perfect lovers, and I’m similar enough in instincts (but certainly not wealth) to parallel Mr. Darcy, and modern gay guys are rushing in shot after shot touching everything up to make it perfect. In reality, she would be a stinky mess, cause it’s the 19th century and nobody ever fucking bathed. And she would have a horrible accent I couldn’t understand, being rural English, and would always be like “oh, how much money you make” while making pouty faces at me, and I be like “bitch, if you gotta ask, ask somebody else”.

I used to be really into Heidi Klum, owned her first Sports Illustrated, her first GQ, even her Sports Illustrated video (the monkey and snake and all). You know what was great about her? Two things… she never talked, and women didn’t know who she was. Pure sex symbol, you could assert anything in that void.

After a while, she was famous, everybody knew about the chick I used to have a poster of. I beat off to her 50,000 times, then she started talking, then it occurred to me she was a idiot. I eventually got a girlfriend, and she unfortunately looked up to her (which is annoying, she was a college honor student). I simply can’t go back, knowing she is a dumb dumb, her talking broke the fantasy. Never changed her hair, never changed her style… just I saw a hidden aspect of her, and found I disliked it a lot. That shit kills a erection immediately. I can’t get aroused to a woman I don’t like. Not usually at least. If you got that perfect look, you might get my attention, but then you mess it up talking like a nitwit, it is all over. Rather have a ugly intelligent woman than a beautiful dumb one, and I want her compatible. Women who keep their mouths shut and just model, they can be anyone. You see a picture of her with nice hair and nice lacy shirts, wow… when everything is just right.

You start acting contrary to that, wtf. Is it the Whore-Madonna Complex? Very likely. Is it fair? No, but I’m looking for a limited intellectual range of woman, very smart, but still capable of feeling, essentially good hearted… but above all, brains. I don’t want a stupid woman.

Gay guys are experts at dressing up women to fit any expectation straight guts have. They even know your breast size without having to cup them… no fucking clue how they do that. No guy goes into a sports store, says he needs a cup, and the clerk looks down and says “hmmmm, you must be a size extra small, think we still got the peewee cups in the back”. How the fuck do they know? I don’t know, and I look at boobies all the fucking time. That’s all they do. They must just all their female friends to show them their boobs, and ask what size they are while fondling them or someshit.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=yv0ctUZhK98

It is better to love and not embrace, wondering what could of been, than to embrace love and find a life of bore and misery.

I think Shakespeare said that. He said something along those lines.

better to love, sate your lust, and then move on.
Chronic love is indeed a life of bore and misery, i don’t know how the socially influential petards managed all that, marriage etc., I so hate the institution of marriage. Responsible for half of mankind’s problems, if you ask me (The other half being of course usury/capitalism).

No, I mostly blame lives’ problems on philosophers who didn’t try hard enough to resolve issues at hand.

And given your solution to everything is to smoke weed, I’m not going to hold your prescriptive descriptions on the common ailes of life as too serious.