2 months--no drugs or alcohol

I think this time around I’m going to forgo alcohol. So starting this Saturday, May 14th, I will go until July 14th with NO ALCOHOL!!!

BAAAHHH!!!

Gib,

So you’re going to use peroxide? :-k :laughing: Gargle only.

I said BAAAHHH!!!

Chill out Gib, have a Majito

If you lace it with acid, coke, maybe a crushed pill of ecstasy, I’ll drink. But no alcohol!!! :laughing: :wink:

I reeeaaallly wanted a drink on Friday. It was another one of my caffeine Fridays, and I had been really good the whole week. One cup of coffee in the morning on Monday, half a cup Wednesday mid-day, and then 3 cups Friday morning (and another big cup of Joe in the late afternoon). I was fucking wired… it would have been reeeaaally fun to drink that evening… but I didn’t.

^ Just patting myself on the back. Now go on with your lives.

Today is July 15th, the day I can drink again. Actually, I think yesterday was, but I decided to wait for today. (If I quit drinking on May 14th–meaning my last drink was at the latest on May 13th–then does two months mean I can start drinking on July 14th or that my abstinance must follow through on July 14th? I think it means I could have started yesterday, but whatever).

Anyway, what did we learn this time?

drug chart - May 14 2016 - July 14 2016.png

Overall, we learned that the absence of alcohol in my life is probably a pretty good thing. I get a lot more work done on the weekend–and I save a huge chunk of my wallet. I’d say that emotionally and physically, it doesn’t do too much. Emotionally, I’m still the same, and physically, I still get tired on my days off caffeine. Of course, by “physically”, I just mean how I feel (not counting the day after effect)–obviously there are many physical benefits to abstaining from alcohol. And of course, my non-caffeine days aren’t that bad when I’ve abstained from caffeine for a good long while, but I find that even half a cup of coffee ever odd day, which I sometimes need, can take a toll on my energy on the even days.

But I definitely like having an extra day on the weekend sans hang over, and I’ll take the savings in my bank account any day.

There are a couple other “learnings” I got out of this–not signs of life improvement per se, but definitely learnings:

  1. It’s definitely the caffeine that makes my trips twice as intense (at least). It’s a trend I’ve known in my drug use for a while now: on my Fridays, after I get jacked and drunk, I’ll smoke up. The high is definitely more intense than usual on these days. I always attributed it to the alcohol. I’ve read that alcohol can be a catalyst in helping other drugs get into the brain. That’s what I assumed was happening. But these two months have taught me that all that’s needed, in my case, is the caffeine. I guess if the neurons are already firing, this just adds to the effect of the cannabinoids.

  2. I’ve also learned that the cannabinoids have a major impact on my self-discipline. I read Charles Baudelaire’s On Wine and Hashish a while ago. Baudelaire compares the effects of wine and hashish and says that though they are very similar, there is a subtle but important difference: whereas wine lowers your inhibitions, hashish weakens your will. He had an agenda to try to promote alcohol and degrade cannabis, so he described the inhibiting effects of alcohol as “liberating”, as freeing the soul from its own inhibitions, whereas cannabis was more stultifying of the soul, taking away its will to do, well, pretty much anything that requires effort. I don’t care to celebrate alcohol or demonize pot, but I agree with Baudelaire’s take on these effects. As subtle as the difference between them is, he was bang on.

Marijuana or any other cannabinoid has the effect of weakening your self-discipline (Baudelaire puts it in terms of “will”). This is not to say that I fell of the temperance horse, but that I was dieting at the same time (hey, I’m all about self-deprivation! :laughing:). Unlike with my commitment to abstaining from alcohol, I’m not as staunch when it comes to dieting. I’ll allow myself a little snack every now and then, or to go over my daily goal by a couple hundred calories. But this makes all the difference in the world to my self-discipline. It essentially means I allow room for excuses. If I’ve already gone over my daily limit by a couple hundred calories, what’s a hundred more (I tell myself)? Or sometimes: fuck it! Just on this day, I’m gorging; I’ll eat extra lean tomorrow or go for an extra bike ride. ← All because I allow for some wiggle room in my discipline.

This time around, I got a good feel for how the cannabinoids can take advantage of this wiggle room. Whereas my determination not to drink can be put on auto-pilot so to speak (I can’t actually trick myself into thinking a drink or two is OK), my determination to limit my calorie intake requires constant and deliberate effort. This is where the “munchies”, as the druggie vernacular calls it, takes its toll. For me, the experience wasn’t that I’m more hungry than usual, but that I just couldn’t help myself. I just watched myself caving almost every time. My will, my self-discipline, was sabotages by the pot.

So a little lesson in self-discipline: don’t smoke pot. I also had the opportunity to learn a few more tricks about self-discipline, but those had nothing to do with the abstinence of alcohol (though I’m sure a lack of alcohol is certainly a helpful tip). They are: 1) remind yourself that you’re supposed to have cravings, or that it’s supposed to be uncomfortable. This is the whole reason so many people fail at their new years resolutions the first month in. They supposedly “know” that losing weight, or quitting smoking, or whatever, is going to be hard, but when they feel it, they suddenly get the idea that: this isn’t supposed to be so hard, therefore I’m justified in breaking my commitment. Reminding yourself that this is supposed to be hard makes the cravings or discomfort suddenly seem like “business as usual” and it becomes a bit easier to dismiss them. And just to give you an extra boost, 2) remind yourself of your goal. Say to yourself: don’t you want to lose weight? Don’t you want to look good? Live healthy? Reinforce that you’re doing this for a reason, that there’s a prize at the end of the road worth working towards, but you do have to put in the work in order to make it a reality.

BTW, started smoking again… but then quit again. This time, however, I think I can only do it for two or three month stretches.

So it looks like all I have left are three 2 month stints during which I allow myself only one category of drug: caffeine, alcohol, or cannibinoids.

My next stint will last from Jan. 1 to Feb. 28. The only question is, which category? I’d like to hear from ILP members on this question.

Alcohol and mary jane are downers, so try caffeine, the upper, by its lonesome in (80% cocoa content or higher)small chocolate pieces. No caffeine drinks.

What? You can’t tell me no drinks! slaps hand :laughing:

But it’s an intriguing idea nonetheless. So 80% cocoa or higher, you say, huh? How much chocolate would I have to eat to reach, let’s say, one cup of coffee?

http://www.builtlean.com/2012/04/12/raw-chocolate/

Basically 4 ounces = 1 8oz. coffee (however good coffee tastes it does not have the health benefits)

Thank you very much, Mongoose, I will be trying that.

You’re very welcome Gibmuffin. :mrgreen:

Well, this is the start of my 6th abstinence experiment, and as Mongoose said, this time it will feature caffeine and that’s it. I will be trying her suggestion of 80% dark chocolate, but not all the time. I might try it on one of my “off-caffeine” days. For the most part, I save my caffeine days for Friday, but on occasion I do need a small pick-me-up during the week. When that happens, I usually have half a cup of coffee for the day and that’s it. Maybe on one of these days, I’ll try Mongoose’s suggestion.

So starting today, Jan 1 2017 (Happy New Year everyone!!! :occasion-balloons: ), 'til Feb 28 2017, I will only be consuming caffeine as my choice of drug.

And now an aside: I think these experiments I’ve been conducting on myself since December of 2013 have been working. At the beginning, I started with the attitude that this was just going to be an experiment, nothing more, and that based on the results I’d decide whether or not I wanted to get off the drugs. Now it’s become more than that. I actual do want to get off the drugs–even before the experiments are over–and I’m sure of that. I’m even looking forward to it.

However…

The experiments must continue if they are to be successful at all. But so far, they seem to be working. They’re having the desired effect.

That means I have to go through two more rounds after this–they will include 2 months of alcohol only, and 2 months of cannibinoids only–and in keeping with prior ideas, I’d like to keep them 3 months apart if I can. That means the next round after this will be June/July of 2017 and round 3 will be Nov/Dec 2017. However, like last year when I didn’t want any of my stints to overlap the office Christmas party so I pushed it 'til now, this time I think I’m going to do the same for 2017. So the final stint will probably be Jan/Feb of 2018. I’ll give myself 3 months of usual intoxication after that, and then I’m going to go a full year, if not more, completely alcohol and drug free. I feel I need a full year (at least) because these 2 month stints don’t seem to be providing enough data. If you look at the chart, they are averaging between slightly positive to moderately positive.

I figure a full year will not only provide more data, but will really give my body a good chance to adjust and start adding more meaning/excitement to my life on its own rather than depending on the drugs for that. It will also provide me the opportunity to try seeking out other substitutes, things that might add a richer spiritual dimension to my life–Moreno suggested taking up some extreme sports, Mongoose suggests OBE’s (btw, Mongoose, if you’re reading this, this is why I said I’d get back to you about that after roughly a year), might get into meditation again–but something definitely has to replace the drugs, and starting in the summer of 2018, I’ll start trying these things. ← This is part of the reason I’m looking forward to it.

And at the end of this (at least) one year stint, I will, once again, give myself the option of making a choice right then and there. This would be opposed to giving myself a short period (like a few months) of intoxication after the (at least) full year before deciding once and for all. My decision, of course, will be what I want to give up and what I want to keep. I feel at least the caffeine will have to go because it has the most noticeable effects on my energy levels, and I know from past experiences of abstinence, after a while without caffeine, my body’s natural energy levels do come back. ← That was the plan all along. But I feel that if this (at least) one year proves fruitful, and indeed spiritual, then it will provide more incentive to give up all the drugs. I think this has to be an option since it surreptitiously allows me to look back and say: I really quit summer of 2018.

The fact that now I know I want this gives me confidence that I will make the choice right then and there and that I will choose abstinence. Even if all the new age spiritual mumbo jumbo junk turns out to be a farce, I’m confident that having a whole year (at least) behind me of experiences without drugs or alcohol will tell me that my life is indeed better now.

That being said, I do want to continue exploring alternate mind states but without becoming addicted to the drugs. I know I can do that. For example, what if I got my hands on some DMT? I’d allow myself maybe 4 or 5 sessions with it and then dump the rest. I have absolutely no doubts that I can do such a thing without becoming addicted. The problem isn’t physical addiction. It’s my attitude and values–this whole thread being an exercise in reprogramming them. And I know that I can tell myself “4 or 5 sessions and that’s it” and commit to that. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I’ve always had a knack for carrying through with the things I say I’ll carry through with. Trying new drugs for the sake of exploring new experience won’t be a problem. ← And this is really what I wanted all along–to be able to delve into these mind states for the sake of knowing them without becoming addicted. That’s the practice I want to keep. And who knows–with any luck, all the spiritual mumbo jumbo shit I get into might introduce me to some alternative, healthier, drug free ways of doing it (Moreno did hint that he’s able to see God).

Now I keep saying “at least” one full year. Why? Because the full year that I want is going to be about more than just abstinence from all drugs and alcohol, it’s also going to be about letting go of all the major things in my life that are dragging me down. This includes the drugs, of course, but it also includes my book. I want to be done publishing it, and for that I might need a deadline later than the summer of 2018 (if I were to guess, I’d say maybe an extra six months). ← Those are the two “anchors” in my life that I feel are weighing me down, keeping me from full spiritual freedom. (There’s also my children, but I don’t want to let them go). So it might end up being a year and a half (and that’s a good thing… more data).

But that’s all for the long term. Right now, my focus is on the next two month: no alcohol or drugs except for (chocolaty) caffeine.

I got around to trying Mongoose’s suggestion today. I bought a bunch of Lindt Excellence dark chocolate bars. They’re 70% cacao (couldn’t find any 80%), each 35g. So I ate two of them. I felt a little bit of something, but not much. Equivalent to about half a cup of coffee. Not sure if this is placebo or the real deal. Anyway, to get something around the ball park of 2 to 3 cups of coffee, I’d probably have to eat about 10 of these things. I don’t really want to do that.

I bought a couple more, so I might try this out again later in the week.

Tried it again today. 2 chocolate bars. Was feeling a bit groggy at first, now I feel a bit more perked up. I’d say a bit more noticeable than a placebo.

=D> Finally! Glad you are noticing positive, healthier returns.

done.

So? Results? :mrgreen:

Sorry Wendy, not in the mood right now.

Maybe on the weekend.