Pen-Powered Insanity

I wonder how long it will take for me to push enough power-abusers, power-hungry, greedy and selfish people over the edge. I wonder how long it will take to exact the perfect vengeance in such a way as to leave enough of society intact to carry on into the future with a rightful ruler. Civil war has become a state of living covered with countless layers of ‘everything is alright’ and ‘mind your own business’ and ‘do this and we will destroy everything you love and care about.’ I am sore tired of others being able to say and do what they want in tear-you-down fashion, doing nothing constructive or productive, but if you do the same to them except with hopes of better, you’re faulted and punished instead. I’m sore tired of being the hero-made-criminal, the rebel that is the constant example to all others who might take a stand against; sore tired of it all being one way and not the other with only one place to go to where I can actually be free to respond the way that nature intended: here.

I am a social-engineer, an architect of great design and my work of the past 5 years will soon take more of a hold on society as, bit by bit, I whittle and chip away at all that is wrong and dance this dance of death in macabre fashion. I’ll continue to face superior odds, I’ll continue to keep strong, I’ll continue to do what I’m doing knowing that it’s all that I can do and the best that I can do and the right thing to do, even if it means and spells negative consequences and reactions to my self. If no one acts, if no one dares, we will never see better, never earn better, never deserve better and these foul charlatans and pretenders and connivers will not simply let us that are good and righteous to simply have power to use responsibly, they won’t roll over and give up the power that they hate one moment and love the next as they care little about the effect they have on others.

I’ll stare death in the face, knowing what has happened to past freedom fighters, even to the most recent; what has become of past philosophers and great people of insight, reason and wisdom as they fought and wrestled mentally and spiritually with tyrant and scoundrels. Every bit of my life spent in hardship is just another added layer of strength to what I do and what I’m about. Somethings got to break, somethings got to give… and it’s not going to be me.

For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son for them to murder and place all of their sins upon him so that they could have immortal life through blood sacrifice. And then, God began to hate the world.

LISTEN TO THE TRUTH< GOD DAMN IT!!! SEE IT BETWEEN THE LINES WRITTEN!!! DISPENSE WITH THE IGNORANCE AND STUPIDITY AND THE BULLSHIT!!! And, while you’re at it, go fuck yourselves, you sick motherfucking pieces of fucking shit. Thank you and have a nice day. I hope I’ve served my purpose as entertainment in your Colosseum of Depravity.

Bring it on. Nothing to live for, nothing to die for and an eternity of suffering to match this life of Hell I lived while reaching for Heaven.

I’d come for you but you’d like it too much while shaking your head “no I don’t.” And your last avatar was not the HBO original Spartacus…no!

:handgestures-thumbupleft: Like your sig. pics.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spartacus:_Blood_and_Sand

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andy_Whitfield

That was the one I intended to get. I realize that you’re right. Do you feel better about being right on such an inconsequential matter? Do you feel better about arguing about it? Why don’t you fuck off.

I find your anger thrilling. But if I am too whatever, too much that threatens you, okay. I enjoyed shaming you, yes.

Stars…hmmm, you’re right, touche. I like being so wrong sometimes too.

You didn’t shame me and you didn’t even come close to threatening me. Know that if you had, given my personality and temperament, that I would have admitted it truthfully. That is the bonus of telling the truth consistently; that what you say and do becomes marked by truth in such a way that people can not deny. Even if you were to choose to lie after following that path for a while, people would know it; other things would push it out even if it was an inconsequential truth, would push it into others awareness. I’ve had some very petty and vindictive spirits do this to me on quite a few things and then tried to cover up the truth in the mind, to prevent it from being shown just to show the one thing they wanted shown; out of context for me to be judged unfairly by others and to discredit me just the same as people in politics and life seek to discredit others. Sleight of hand, diversion. Please focus on their faults instead of where they overcame their faults, please focus on their faults instead of mine, I am faultless and they’re wrong and I’m right without any actual truth to the statement, but don’t focus on what is in my left hand as my right hand waves in front of your face, drawing your attention and definitely don’t pay attention as I palm it and then slip it up my sleeve so discretely and please, pray-tell, do not pay attention to the fact that this is just a trick, an illusion and not the real magic you thought it was.

holding a mirror in front of RF and occasionally wiping his spittle from it Stop addressing me. This is my last post in your threads and stay out of mine.

Fuck you. I read threads that interest me, if I disagree with a point someone makes, I say so and why and if I feel that someone is being a stupid little shit or a fucktard, I say so and don’t beat around the bush. You can hold that mirror in front of me all you want, but I don’t pretend to know all that there is to know, do constantly state that I am still learning and growing and wish to have actual conversations with other real people who can admit to the same who might have ideas different than my own and am obviously on a current path of learning about the world around me in all of its intricate majesty.

I’m also in the process of cleaning up shit stains like you. It’s a thankless job that nobody wants to do but somebody has to do it.

I’ve got to tell ya, though… What I go through in the mind makes these internet interactions coupled with real life interactions look like nothing. All of the reasoning of the devil and of evil lays within the mind and it mocks the reasoning of the good to a much more intense level than any of you could even hope to bring it to here. If you think that it was/is/will be you or anyone here who causes me to have these ‘breaks’ where I just can’t keep my anger in check or my tears back or the sadness from creeping in, you would be taking too much credit for yourself/yourselves.

Realistically, I go through pain and suffering on a level that none of you truly know. Every second of every hour of every day is riddled with it in one variety or another. emotional pain, spiritual pain, physical pain, sickness, etc. This is what I took on and this is what I fight. I find some happiness in the world around me regardless, I find some solace, some comfort, I find good people doing good things even if they also do bad things and can be deemed as bad people for those things.

Beyond this life of pain is an entire universe of more pain and beyond that entire realities of pain and suffering, tragedy after tragedy with all of you just so much inconsequential repeats of cycles of darkness where legion is the only number able to count it all; just a word, not an actual figure. Behind my eyes and under the veils of my own self lays a Hell worse than what you think you’re going through, by far. It makes your demons and devils and inner Hells seem like nothing in comparison. And, somehow, through that Hell, I managed to find some bit of Heaven for myself and try to teach others the right way to do the same for themselves and reach some true satisfaction in life rather than so many dead end avenues of more pain and suffering along those lines. My life may be a dead end avenue and may be filled with pain and suffering with an eternity to follow after my body dies and my spirit flies, but there is certain satisfaction of knowing the impact that I had on every bit of creation and in a positive manner as much as possible, as truthfully and as genuinely as possible.

You personally, MM, are on the level of mosquito or flea or bed bug compared to what all else bothers me. A single bit of straw on a camels back when it is already carrying too much.

And you’re just focusing on the pain of singular moments. I’ve seen the pain of eternities and entire realities.

I know wars, I’ve known loss; I’ve known betrayal and being distanced. I’ve known being alone without a true friend in the world and I’ve known traveling through places where everyone wanted to hurt or kill me. I’ve known the pain of loving deeply and having my heart crushed and stabbed and hardened, softened; being pulled in countless directions.

I’ve won staring contests with death and the deep abyss which is stated that if you stare too long, begins to stare back. I have faced the worst of demonic entities with the light of love and remained true where you gave in. Your pain is nothing to me.

Look me in the eyes.

Hello 30. I hope life provides me a way to get a bottle of alcohol to celebrate this momentous occasion of just another day spent in a Hellish place with a multitude of idiots that make my own idiocy look like vast intelligence.

:occasion-cake: Make a wish! O:)

Irony is lost on me at this point. I’m lost in Hell.

No alcohol. Tough it out. No smokes. Tough it out.

Not preaching. Promise. Just trying to offer relief. Maybe soak in a hot bath or if you’re near non-toxic/animal infested waters, float on/under some water. Being underwater is wonderful, especially in the sun.

oh, the alcohol isn’t a pressing desire. I’m no stranger to toughing it out.

Hell isn’t always a bad place to be lost in. You’re an asshole, they’re assholes, I’m an asshole. We’re all assholes, so you’re among good company.

I do not want or need to be an asshole. There’s the difference. I’m sure that ironic too.