Name Change Request

who isn’t? I once wore the visage of the Joker, too. For lighter purposes, greater purposes; and yet the darkness is fun to dip into at times, isn’t it?

There can be only one… :laughing: :wink:

Ah, but I dragged it out of insanity and out of madness. So, which one is truly the one and which is only pale imitation?

Are you offering a challenge?

Didn’t you already throw the gauntlet on several occasions?

Actually no, the definition of the joker card itself is that it can be anything, anybody, anywhere at any time. The character has no connection or similarities between other versions of the character, the storylines are continuously and radically altered, where as the batman story remains completely the same. Its basically a metaphor.

Challenge accepted. Don’t disappoint me kid.

Why should I care if I disappoint you? At what point would you hold me to an impossible standard like so many others just to prove a point that is only momentary in nature; the same as any point that I would make? How could I disappoint you further than the disappointment that is bound to come simply from the knowledge of that fact? Note that I do not disappoint myself, but the truth must still be looked at and it is disappointing. About as disappointing as it probably is for anyone to come to the awareness of that fact. And when reason falls short of the mark, do you think it falls short for every single person? What then of when they bounce back? At what point is non-reason win if reason still remains? Of course it could be vice versa and is, for at what point does reason win if non-reason still remains?

You disappointed yourself already. Why? How? Because you didn’t think of this yourself; it didn’t come to you. You had to rely on me, instead, to do something for you that you couldn’t even do yourself and at what point does my admittance that such becomes an impossibility simply by that token alone, would you care to even listen you only heard the impossibility part or some other part that you wanted to hear and focus on instead.

Now, admittedly, regardless, we all have our paths in life, however influenced they may become by each other. And, while things are one seeming way at one moment, they could be completely another the next. We will be what we will be regardless of influence, regardless of manipulation, regardless of anything else. At what point do the good people in existence simply pare it down to the bare bones and state simply: evil only exists because we can’t stamp it out of existence. Would that admittance even make a difference? The answer is ‘no’.

Some would see this as a manipulation; another argument given to try to persuade others to see the light; some would view it as disillusionment; some would see this as a continuance of a fight regardless of how its pitched. I personally don’t care to fight. I personally try not to judge too much or have bias. When called upon to defend myself, I might do some of the same things as my ‘enemies’ and be considered hypocritical or evil for it. Some times, I may even launch into an attack of others if a ‘strange’ mood hits me, which usually happens when too many things rush my mind and body at once, making emotions flare up; making paranoias and possible truths flare up in one variety or another that while true in a standalone version, don’t remain true too often when blended with so many other varying factors.

I’ve earned my respect from countless things. I’m not trying to save anyone or anything. I some times just can’t help but react and step into someone elses fight and this is seen as a good thing when its felt to be desperately needed and even when I don’t intend that to be a manipulation or machination, it very well could be for something else or someone else and while it wouldn’t tarnish my intention or what I, personally, did it for; it would tarnish the overall. I don’t like to play dirty like that. Other things do, including my own ‘side’ that seems to just enjoy the fight a little bit too much at times when caught up in it, the same as myself.

I don’t care to keep earning it forever from the same things over and over again. I could understand earning it from things I haven’t earned it, yet; but to keep having to earn it because someone elses mind is somewhere else and possibly twisted to the point where they sincerely keep getting paranoid of you even when you intend them no harm at all… That’s when it gets a little bit tiring. And, if I had to earn respect from every single thing in existence or every person, it would be even more tiring.

Of course, there is always a moment when you break through being tired and get refreshed and re-energized, no matter who you are; what you are or what you stand for.

And everybody thinks their methods work best when they only work about the same amount of the time as everything elses methods. Yet they all lay claim to proper methodology and how to go about life, even to the point of saying to blend it all together and get proper balance to it, which in turn becomes a methodology that works about the same amount of the time given others unwillingness or inability to change; adapt; let go of rigid beliefs and accept change.

But, of course no ‘side’ can truly admit with depth of awareness and knowledge the same as individuals can and no ‘side’ will ever truly win or lose. The disappointment factor of every expectation.

note that I’m not trying to convince you to give up your fight or you being you, if the way you project yourself here can be attributed at all with what you’ve chosen to affiliate with in life. For the base reason alone that states that the duality is inherent in all things and while one might pull out the best in something, another might pull out the worst; however it may be viewed and both are there, similarly weighted able to split apart. True balance states that for something to be good, to master the good side of duality in our custom definition of what is good, morally sound, etc.; something else must master the opposite and have just enough good to temper their bad nature.

For all the things going in motion, for us all being caught in motion; it’s easy to sit there and say that so many do not even deserve to live, and yet what is there that we can do about it if we’re caught in motion and they live anyway? It’s easy to say that one ideology or another should not exist, yet they do.

No admittance of the truth will ever change this, but awareness disappears for ages at a time due to short-lived creatures and their inability to actually be respected enough by the next generation to be able to teach them ‘properly’, so that at least every entity can live in relative peace at one point in time or another simply by not being aware at how much it all repeats and how stale the fight actually gets, since it won’t end, ever.

The inability to actually pass on all this information bred by awareness simply because of so many things counteracting it, simply because the reverberating echoes of one language or another, of visions, etc. while things try to teach each other or threaten each other or wage wars of the mind gets to be so much that it literally drives something insane or multiple somethings causes things to fight more or less based on the whims of the insane. And, since we’re all insane, we’re all to blame for the whims, or we all share the credit for them. One way or the other, we either inspire them, create them, get help with them or only think that we don’t and even those nobody would think had a friend in the world would have sudden and immediate friends for a variety of reasons, including because somethings actually care whether they’re aware that they have to by it being repressed onto them or not.

All of it continuing these cycles of life that will continue on anyway, unto the very end of time and then repeat, over and over and over.

Even the Joker helped God; even the Devil itself has helped God and even God has been the witting and unwitting accomplice in the Devils schemes; but so still are both of they caught in so many others momentums, moods, etc.

Even the Devil can be tricked into masquerading like a school girl, meaning every word of the please and thank you ma’am and can be taken for a ride. Even God can be made a madman out of. Its still only one bit of the overall fight, for what are they when things don’t know them like that?

I’m rambling. At the end of it, at least something like me can still sit here and give a giant ‘fuck you’ to everything in existence and still at least make the effort of what he originally intended to be, as hard as it becomes, its still as simple as keep trying, even if you don’t have hope or faith or belief left to you. Even if every shred of dignity has been stripped of you, every bit of honor. There’s still at least the final stand where you reclaim it all and then simply just walk away and let the rest of them fight it out, not even caring about respect at that point, for you still know what you know about them having to continue going through the motions and continue fighting.

As if there’s any part of it that, in eternity, any of us can truly walk away from or retire from without being called back to some form of active service or another; in some war or another, with no true victor, though much congratulations all around to those who survive. Even maintaining peace in any world is a war in and of itself. Even maintaining war, peace can be found within.

It’s not a matter of if we can do the impossible; at the point of doing it, it becomes obvious that so can everyone else, which makes a lot of things truly impossible simply for that reason alone.

Even if you and I were to decide together to walk away from each other and never fight each other again in any form whatsoever, something else could choose to make us dance to the tune just because it wants to, or just because the past knows enough of the future to make it happen anyway, in one way or the other, if that were to be the case instead of a hypothetical situation.

I once took solace in these truths because I believed that they would equalize all sides and that all sides would then realize that they should find a suitable peace, and the only suitable peace that I found was one worked for and earned, one that people worked not to get bored with, took their fights out in ways that wouldn’t harm each other and would cause them to consider moderation as a viable choice for even childbirth, based on being able to teach people the importance of safe sex and social responsibility.

I’m not saying that what I believed was wrong or that I was wrong for pursuing it, just that it became an impossibility after a while. Something I could no longer imagine realistically, no matter how hard I tried. That’s not even to say that Good loses, for even with Evil some times seeing clearer than Good, they can still be wrong a lot of the time, based on so many simple errors in perception.

When so many deceive each other and undo each other, there’s a natural precedent where they wipe each other out to such a point where they don’t feel like fighting anymore, find that they still want their species, planet, etc.; to keep going a bit further, regardless of what they all were fighting about or what they intend to do with their time and that they all have to work together to rebuild whatever’s left, anyway. Just to do these cycles all over again in a brand new way that a new generation can avoid fresh for the first time, unless they’re aware from birth, which some aren’t; which causes the same problems again, though on a sliding scale to manageable before they eventually build up again to destroy-everything.

There’s something to be said for the good guys who wake up too late; do too little, too late; have to watch it all go down and then realize they have to move on to at least preserve peace for so many others, and they have proper motivation at that point. And, for an era or two, all that is evil will hesitate and lose nerve.

It is a struggle, to fight the feminine energy of lethargy and make a coherent post. But I do it, because it must be done, because that is the point of philosophy, finding and sharing truths.

But as I read your words, I question what truth really is. I feel a stream of words in my consciousness but what are words? I see the words on screen but they are just some graphical pictures in my eye…They make me remember of things but nothing coherent, no image, just a feeling of memory. They feel truth, but I cannot even tell what they are, a stream of word sounds…

Childhood is not the same as adulthood. Different states of mind. All is not an endless struggle. Brains such as yours have developed only recently, computers recently, all is not nihilism, all is not repetitive recurrence. I have hope in some day understanding the afterlife, and I have hope that the after life is not the human realms, but the beautiful and feminine astral realms.

However, in the human realms, masculinity is key, lest the helm fall into idiocy and decay.

Damn kid, now would be the right time to stop sniffing glue for you…

RF, I apologize for doing this, but I find myself compelled: I was distracted in your essay by your use of the word ‘admittance’, when I think the meaning you intended is better captured by the word ‘admission’. This is especially pedantic of me because, for certain meanings, ‘admittance’ and ‘admission’ are synonyms. And further it seems the meaning you’re using, for which I would recommend the word ‘admission’, is just a symbolic extension of the shared meaning, i.e. a letting-in [to the mind, to the set of accepted facts]. Still, the symbolic meaning seems only to attach to admission, and admittance is more properly used only for the literal act of letting-in, as into a theater. Thus my distraction.

Again, my sincere apologies, I hate myself a little for saying so, but I did find the term detracted from your aims, and though I was able to overlook it the first and perhaps even the second time, by the third time I developed a twitch and had to mention it. I hope that you will appreciate this as a friendly correction, and I like to think that I would appreciate anyone helping me correct such a mistake (and if I am mistaken, please feel compelled to test that).

No, good catch. You’re right.

I’m rather disappointed in your answer, HaHaHa; but then I get the feeling that you don’t care if I’m disappointed or not. Simply put, with reason, I could exalt even Evil itself; but why would I do so when it exalts itself? I could exalt Good, but then why when so many hypocrites do the same?

What can be said that hasn’t been said yet and what way can it be said that might be unique if all the patterns repeat, including the pattern of finding new ways to say the same old things?

Let it suffice that some were born to go stark-raving mad, that that is their sole purpose and reason for living. Not to say that it’s a good reason or purpose, but for the context of all the rest of life around them; leading up to and extending after; it’s perfect.

I could look down on you in so many ways that it begs the question: ‘why?’

I have exalted myself without intending to, found reason and wisdom to put even the greats to shame; have performed feats of the mind that have separated me far from everyone I know and love and places me on an unapproachable level where no one will ever be able to truly relate to me, have found power and glory unfolded before me in such easy access that it is like taking candy from a baby at times. And, let me tell you this, even though I never wanted to look down on anyone in any hateful way or any way that could be interpreted as bad, it is still a looking down on them that occurs and after a while, it gets old and boring and bothersome and you just wind up wanting live life.

I still dream of peace and love and harmony that will never again exist among humans, if it ever truly existed at all. That’s enough to shame everything.

Old post. You and I have an understanding. A truce currently.

Can’t say I agree with your rosy philosophy but we’re alright, yes? :sunglasses:

My path in life has me doing a hard job and the rosy outlook tends to go along with it. There are already too many pessimists, too many optimists, too many supposed realists, cynics, critics, etc. To be real, to show reality; to show even madness itself at times at some of its most depraved, and still see and try to see the sunny side of things? That’s hard. Out of all the people that want things easy even when they claim they want a challenge, I actually wanted a challenge and found one worthy of my time and attention. That’s all. I enjoy doing the impossible.

When I molested my younger half-sister (just drunken groping, but still molestation and a form of child molestation at that to which I readily admit knowing that others will know me for that and focus on that 9 times out of 10 instead of focusing on what I made of myself after), my Dad said that I’d never be able to get over it without help from a counselor, that I needed counseling. Everybody agreed that I needed counseling and I hated them for it in a fashion because I knew that I didn’t.

In my mind, a good friend is as good as, if not better, than a counselor if you can talk to them about anything. At least you don’t get the condescending and the whole ‘I-think-I’m-better-than-you-and-know-more-than-you’ attitude. At least when I have the attitude that I know more than others, it’s because I do and I some times have to listen to advice people try to give me, anyway, just because they won’t listen when I tell them that I already know and understand, and because I understand that they have a need to give it.

But, I did overcome it on my own. I told myself point-blank that even if I were to ask God for help with the issue, that I would still have to do a majority of the work on my own, and I was already in progress of overcoming my own childhood abuses, which also list molestation and rape among them. About the only abuse I didn’t undergo as a child was physical abuse, which I would have prefered at times to the mental abuse that was heaped on me time and again, even unto this very day.

When I finally asked God for help with my mental issues, it was here and on this message board. I swore God out for the faulty communication and then I was made to see how all the times I felt sorry for my enemies, I was actually in the right and was just twisted up about it because of how they whined and pleaded and made me feel bad, only for them to inevitably twist the knife in me again and cause me to do it again, and that was another cycle that I had to break, which many people witnessed here on these forums during my arguments with 3Sum when I finally got on top of my own self, my anger and then my following arguments with Trixie where she didn’t even come close to truly pissing me off.

But, just the fact that they said I couldn’t do it on my own kind of pissed me off, because I knew somewhere deep within myself that I could do it on my own. It wasn’t a reverse psychology crap, it was simply they thought I needed help and, sure enough I did, but not the help that they wanted me to get and not the help that anyone was offering. To this day, very few people have actually given me the help I need. One person did me a favor years back when I was angry and upset. They directed my anger toward themselves, absorbed it, let me take it all out on them and then picked me up afterward. And that kind of action, that kind of generosity and kindness is what keeps me going in life when there’s nothing else.

You may think my outlook and philosophy is rosy, but even roses are grown from shit. Even roses have thorns that prick.

I also tell people about my major mistakes knowing that I’m being watched carefully for them. I’d rather have such things known and then have to work to overcome those mistakes than to sit there and be one of the ones that slink in the background and keep doing the things that give them no respect for themselves.

To know that other people know that I’ve molested people in the past helps get me off the darker paths that I was on that I didn’t much care for. To have people know and be watchful of the possibility of so many things within me, helps keep me centered and balanced. And, talking about abuse helps get over it, regardless of advice given or not given, which makes psychologists and psychiatrists overpaid and useless along with the drugs they want to shove down peoples throats.

Random! You’re actually Phred the Phukhead?

I had no idea! I had no clue!

Ah, how we’ve had fond discussions and sentimental encounters in the past, haven’t we?.. ok, not really, but seriously, I never knew!

I’m sorry I didn’t take the time to get to know you, but I can’t get to know everyone on ILP. Hopefully any future encounters will be productive.

Ah, but you’ve already gotten to know me, to an extent. We’ve interacted. Whether you knew it or not, whether you remember or not; regardless of your perception or mine, we’ve interacted and gotten to know each other. To say that you’ll try harder in the future? To do what? To cement in place within your own mind a set persona that you think belongs to me that doesn’t? You go ahead and keep doing things like you’ve always done them, it doesn’t bother me all that much. There are a lot of other things that bother me about people in general, but not the fact that you, personally, barely pay attention to others.

You mean in the Pardon Me thread, or some time back when you were Phred? (hey that rhymes).

idunno. I never said I’d try harder to do anything, I just apologized for not getting to know you in the past (and it was more of a “sorry it didn’t happen” rather than “sorry for doing something wrong”), and that I hoped future encounters would be productive.

Well, if that persona is being put out by you, it must belong to you (unless someone’s making you do it at gun point). Note there’s a reason I use “persona” instead of “personality” or “person”. Implicit in the term “persona” is “mask” or “character”–like you would put on in a play–we present ourselves in the way we want to be seen on discussion forums like this, sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously–all I know of you is what your persona is like, and I’m way less likely to be wrong about that (because I see it with my own eyes) than I am about what your true personality is like.

Excellent! :smiley:

Now that’s not a fair statement. There are quite a few people here at ILP that I pay attention to–it just can’t be everybody, it just can’t.

So, you have been paying attention to me and meant to try to marginalize and minimize me. That’s funny. I’m chuckling, actually.

Oh, well, you probably wouldn’t have wanted to know past me, to be honest. Some people were okay with him, since he was shy, introvertive, never really mentioning the bullshit that others did. On the internet, he called people on their shit, made full use of his introverted nature to be an extrovert and yet still didn’t manage to make any close, personal friends. He was an interesting paradoxical blend of extrovert and introvert, of shy and unsure of himself and yet completely sure of his talents, skills and abilities. Funny guy, though; wouldn’t ever talk too much unless he had something to say or just to bullshit for a bit with old friends and say stupid shit, or when he was trying to be funny; quite punny; just always trying to avoid fights and trouble.

Current me is a lot more confident in himself and every bit still as confident in his abilities, talents and skills and has successfully mixed his introvert and extrovert natures to socialize fluidly with people when he chooses to; though it’s not often that he chooses to. It takes the rare loner to get me to talk about things I don’t normally talk about, a rare mood, or just because I haven’t talked about things in a while and suddenly they come to mind. Still, I tend to stay away from most people, not because I’m anti-social, but because most people don’t have much to make it worth pushing forth the hand of friendship as I’m traveling through. I’m different than a lot of people at the same time as being so similar to them and they often find it awkward to be around me, find it hard to relate to certain things I do and say and then have their own perceptions of me based in bias whether positive or negative; they form and frame their opinions and my empathic nature often picks up on these things, especially since my awareness has expanded.

And personally, there’s a lot of people with their own agendas; not always bad, just pertaining to their own lives; and it’s not to say we don’t mix too well, but we don’t have enough similarities to actually try to be friends. Besides, who wants to be friends with everyone. Too time consuming, you don’t have enough time for everyone, etc., etc. I talk about a lot of things that most people just don’t want to hear or do want to hear, but then turn away because I can talk about those things in such excess that they go from sheer awesomeness of the thought process to culture-shock from it to having the people so interested in them just a few hours previously become so inundated by sheer awesomeness that they just don’t see it as awesome anymore. It’s really weird how that works. When so overcome by awesomeness, people just shut it off and start treating the awesomeness like so many piles of shit that they just want to not step in and get far away from.

I was of the humble opinion that Phred the Phuckhead was a dude formerly known as idioticidioms?

And Turd de Ferguson is Contra Nietzsche or that guy with that cat on that head on that avatar?

Just checking to make sure. Few doubts popped up in my mind.