The War Within

very funny

I look into the mirror.
My reflection claims it
Is not reflection, but is
Objective in my subjectivity.
This is not a poem;
It is a reflection.
I was created to think
In conundrums.

If,
you were created to think of that
and you did.

if,
you you were created to think of that in that way
and you did.

how can that be called as thought of thinking.
how come subject be termed as thought.

container was stuffed to contain that.
and it did.

there don’t seem to exist a talent nor thought.
talent of container !!
purpose of container !!!

and enough ,
if you went and said : LIFE OF A CONTAINER!!
it lives it’s existence and moves on !!!

If–“life’s a bitch;
And then you die”–
If no one knows
The reason why–
Give me a hit
Of that good feel good.
Perhaps you could.
I do not understand
If all is planned
How I would–
How I should–
Give me a hint
Of that good feel good.
Perhaps you could.

very funny.
i adopt this style lot of times.
again, nice way.
this way that way.

can you provide me vacancy.
just 500 $ per month

Not meant to be funny. Serious business expressed in doggerel. As for provision-- I live in virtual poverty, as Blake did.

Me too. I try to make sense of it all as if it were a machine generating greater wisdom via conflict/duality. I think fate is involved because things go wrong beyond my own causes and the strings of occurrences do not display pure randomness.

why not become part of my team ?

earn quick,
live smart.

explain?

start a magazine .
irelius admin.
earn by it
you invest.

No thanks.

why never liked it?

Never liked what?

way you reply shows , being frustrated by that business!!
just guessed for my self.

Frustration comes from the question how does on value oneself in a world that does not?
Do you say
I should be you?
Do it your way?
Or be untrue
To some higher thought
Than either has bought?

HIs one is quite good one.

Only if the punch line is not doom and gloom.
Dear God–
Cure me or kill me;
Is that too much to ask?

As you can imagine this question interests me, as it is phrased.

Id be interested in a slow inquiry. After all no answer that satisfies all concerns has been formulated. And this task, to undertake it, as been way to daunting, even for an arrogant one as myself.

So my first, very crude interjection/suggestion is: how - violence.

Now I do not mean physically punching and shooting around oneself. That will not cause a being-valued.
But a certain ruthlessness in the assertions of ones own values, this tends to result in the recognition of the existence, as values, of such values.

I think.

What say you?

Good point. I’m trying to be more aggressively assertive.

The biggest mistake Ive ever made in my life, concerning the whole arena of being valued, and the effect that has one ones own self-valuing, is I entered a domain inhabited by a lot of people of which I knew they held some values that are simply directly irreconcilable with what I am. (they are dogmatic racists, and not capable of or friendly toward abstract reason). I figured, in a kind of experiment, that I could have some positive effect there by just showing up

It has cost me years of my life, it feels. Since I showed up there, the hatred I received has been constant and overwhelming, and what’s more - diligently produced. I, the mere existence of me, gave these people a physiological boost of some sort, as if I triggered a nest of wasps. As soon as I had mixed my valuing, quite unintentionally, with the valuing of these very different creatures, with whom I have no ontic business, my life began to decay.

These past four years have been an ongoing ‘suffering the consequences’ of various such mistakes. My only rational mission could be now to become a purist of my own values - and yet, Ive talked about my own values so much in the context of these people a context where my values are considered as pure excrement, that I also lost the power to enjoy some of these values. That means I lost the power of existing, to a degree.
I notice it is very well possible to get that power back - but the lesson is that negative existence exists, and not behind any veils either.