Hello everyone,
My name is Erik. I’m a convicted felon, a murderer.
If anyone wishes to exchange contact information, we can get together for a cup of coffee, or take a nice stroll through the park.
We can then go for a ride in my van, back to my place way out in the boondocks, where nobody can hear your screams…
Btw., nice to meet you all!
Nice to meet you, Erik. Who did you murder?
You dweeb, you. 
Well, hello there, my succulent lil’ friend…
It’s a pleasure to…meet you…
Who did I murder? Now, now…I don’t kill and tell…
Let’s go grab some ice-cream, shall we?
Ice cream??? How about a nice hot steaming cup of coffee? I’ll even let you buy me a tuna melt.
We can do coffee…yes, coffee…It will be as black as…my soul… 
Your soul is not so completely black, Erik. I do catch a glimmer of light there - slight, yes, but still… 
Hmm just wanted to introduce myself here.
Haha I love that avatar of yours 
It conveys your attitude, in general, quite well.
Hello!
What can you tell me about this forum?
I’m new here. 
I think that I met you in a parallel universe.
Hi. My name’s Zoot Allures. I’m a Capricorn who likes earthquakes and chinese noodles.
Welcome to ILP.
Hi Scaughbod here,
I’m new member of the board and I’m reading different amazing posts especially in Science , technology and Math Section. I’m lucky to join this forum that is full of knowledge, wonderful ideas and strange theories. I’m in a learning phase and this forum is definitely a great help.
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Hello ILP folks…Savvy here and I just wanted to introduce myself. I’m starting university next week and as fate would have it, I ended up choosing an Intro to Philosophy as an optional course (registered at the last minute plus my computer, the b*tch decided to give me a hard time).
Practically, all my life, I have been preparing to get into med school so I gear towards the natural sciences. Therefore the study of philosophy is really new to me so I’m shaking in my babe boots right now. Since I need to maintain an excellent GPA, I could use all the help I can find (self-interest pure and simple ). I’ve searched the philosophy forums universe and ended up here. After reading some of the discussions, I’m still kinda lost but hopefully I can be inspired and would learn something from you guys. Salut.
Hello there, AND welcome! I am sure You will learn something, but one word of warning: please first things first, be prepared to pick and choose,the better stuff and practice prioritizing. This may help You from going under.
So how come you chose philosophy as an optional course? Do you possess some sort of fundamental knowledge about the history of philosophy and the terminology or are you a blank slate? I assume you have an optional course and a main, so what’s your main?
Only two days here and already facing an inquisition? 
I hope to get into the Biology Honours program and I chose it primarily because it fits perfectly my schedule. And fortunately for me, a fundamental knowledge of Philosophy’s history and terminology is not a prerequisite, otherwise I’m f*cked. Btw, are you a student too (sorry I’m the new kid on the chopping block so I don’t know yet who’s who or who’s what here)?
Monsieur Orbie: Thanks for the heads-up.
Some of us can seem a bit crazy, but we’re more than qualified to get you through an intro philosophy course. Feel free to post up any questions, or things you’d like to discuss.