Men who are womanizers

You haven’t read my other threads, if you had, you’d know that part of the reason the female suicide rate is so much lower than the male suicide rate is because men are more polyamorous than women are, which gives all women more optimism that they can have sex with any desirable mate that they may have their sites set upon. Because women are much less polyamorous, it actually puts a plug in the male reward system, like a glop a hair in your drain… women tend to be the most polyamorous when the male sexual peak is occurring, and during this age they give bullies the most sex and then tend to want to settle down with a nice guy who had way less partners than the women ever did. Because women become more monoamorous as they age, it completely destroys any possibility that women atone for what was done to males during their sexual peak, such that as life goes on, the non-bullies still got the least sexual choice, not only that, but the purest non-bullies, men who don’t approach women or show attraction for them, because women complain about this and they are respecting female consent, don’t get any sex during their sexual peaks, you CANNOT give someone their sexual peak back! BECAUSE men are more polyamorous, the suicide rates of women all over the world are decreasing relative to men.

Too needy or desperate? Have you ever met a nice guy? You don’t think that douchbag who sits next to you and says hi with a smile isn’t needy? And besides, even if there is a correlation between neediness and nice guys, it is because they experience sexual deprivation relative to assholes… (not only do women not experience sexual deprivation on the same scale that men do, the nicest women get the most sexual choice - so really, women have nothing to complain about to this regard) but in my experience, nice guys are the ones who will go years not showing any sign of physical attraction, no pressure, normal conversation, no sexual overtones, nothing that implies a sexual overtone (which is why they can sometimes be seen as acting strange by people who don’t understand what they’re looking at). I guarantee you the ones that seem needy are the ones that BY FAR get the most sex.

Women really have no clue what it’s like to lose all of your sex to assholes, because men don’t do that to them… women also don’t know what sexual deprivation is like because men distribute the sex more equitably amongst them, when you’re dealing with men, you have 80% of them who only have about 20% of the female choice and variety, it’s such high stratification that it’s not something women can even comprehend, so they come in here and are like “Duh” “All you guys want is to get laid, there’s more to life than getting laid.” Try living in a gender that has an 80-20 rule and on top of that being in a gender where the nicest men get 0% of the sex. Try living in those condition before you go an about how men are so pathetic compared to women. The same things trigger both genders - sexual neglect - but for women - there is no sexual neglect - so it doesn’t trigger them.

It’s not a matter of dissatisfaction, it’s that the whole monogamous/exclusivity thing in relationships isn’t such a hard and fast rule in men’s sex drive. It’s like having dinner. One night you might have pizza, the next night chicken, the night after that a hamburger. If someone were to say “you must not find pizza satisfying seeing as you had chicken the next day and then a hamburger the day after that,” you’d say, “No, the pizza was very satisfying. I just don’t have the compulsion to eat pizza every night.”

Keep in mind that men’s sex drive and their moral compass are a little less connected than they seem to be in women. This doesn’t mean that men don’t have moral compasses when it comes to who or how many partners they have sex with, it’s just that to make to decision to commit himself to one woman has more to do with a decision he makes for moral reasons, and not because his sex drive is now geared towards this one woman only.

Also keep in mind that to say that men don’t mind sleeping with a variety of different women is not to say they’re disinterested in love and romance and the emotional element that’s involved in that equation. There’s a difference between these things (what I call “chemistry” or “magic”) and monogamy/exclusivity. I get the impression women find this hard to understand–that a man can be in love with several women at the same time without committing himself to one only.

Your pizza, chicken, hamburger analogy is perfect. Actually, there’s a study which showed that women have something called a 4-year itch, they were delving into the concept that monoamory isn’t natural for our species.

Fuck me.

You mean a marriage partner, sickness and Health…? My main Point was that I Think men tend not to notice how they are affected by sex as much as women are. They don’t notice what they take into themselves from sex with someone they actually do not like.

Then you probably do not need a live in sex partner. Or you don’t want to notice that you do.

Hey, you might be married to a jerk, I don’t know. But Before I took it as generalizing about women. Perhaps there is a real give and take in different ways, where you each actually acknowledge the other person as someone with feelings and some actions that indicate this also. And she is just a bitch. Or perhaps there is a way in which you see her as a hole and she sees you as a dick and a person. And so the dishes reminds her that she is more just a hole even though she sees you both as dick and person, and she gets pissed off. From this side of the planet I cannot judge. And I certainly do not Think that it must be the case that the dishes must be a shared chore.

Then womanize. Leave the monogamous relationship, do your own dishes in your own apartment or pay someone to do it or eat out and fuck women without all the (what you feel is) bullshit. If you do this and it works for you, fine. If it doesn’t that means you’ve got your own bullshit and she was probably taking care of that and you miss it or miss someone taking care of your bullshit - whatever your equivalent need to be validated that you doing the dishes was for her.

But if you Think it is merely BS AND YET put up with it, the odds are she is doing your emotional dishes in some way you are not acknowledging. And you expect it and need it and she senses this and simply does it, because you are not just a cock to her.

Otherwise you should get out of the marriage, and possibly marriage to anyone, and live the Life that fits your needs.

This doesn’t show a concern for all men, but rather, the men who are typically found the most sexually attractive. Makes me question your motives. “Why am I attracted to cheaters?” From a man’s perspective, hopefully that’s not what you’re really asking (but its a fucking-real-fucking-question). Maybe you want the question to be “How can I convince a cheater to stop cheating?”. Good luck with that. But $10 says the answer includes frequent sex

Question yourself for a second. You’re asking a philosophy forum [see: needy and desperate] about men who are (based on the assumptions of the OP) not necessarily needy and desperate.

Men who are in this position don’t question themselves, they don’t fucking care, they’re getting what they want. See: They don’t fucking care. Take your pick, the man who cares or the man who doesn’t.

For what it’s worth, every seriously committed relationship I’ve been in → not frequent enough sex. (i’m also a single man in his mid 20’s, take everything i say with a billion grains of salt)

Perhaps this is a question that SHOULD be asked to both the man and the woman.

This is a fair question, a man should be prepared to deal with this scenario, because women just don’t need as much sex… but it doesn’t justify not fucking your boyfriend/husband, if it contributed it any way to this scenario. Perhaps this question highlights how much men fucking want and need sex. Its biological. Give it to him.

He needs sex more than he needs you. Even the ones who aren’t ‘needy and desperate’.

I respond with a question: Why would you fuck this man in the first place? There’s no answer you can give me that doesn’t place [at least some of] the blame on you. Sorry. You ‘selected’ the cheater

Maybe the answer is really simple. Men view sex the same way women view everything but sex, and vice versa. It’s the best i’ve got so far lol

Maybe one day i’ll stop attempting to understand women

Sexual lust is not an inherent part of homosapian (male or female) but rather merely an aberrant result of sex’s ability to cause a cathartic relief at which point it becomes much like an addiction. The cure is simply to create other means to cathartically relieve the anxiety and stop creating more.

There was a study done about women on average wanting (ideally) 4-5 partners in a lifetime and men wanting on average (ideally) 18 partners in a lifetime, studies I’ve seen on the horniness of the respective genders is actually VERY slim however, with men coming out slightly ahead. I think this is most attributed to the sexual neglect rather than men having a stronger sex-drive because the male side has such heavy stratification compared to the female side. The irony is, the average (perhaps some type of median is a better term) man probably has the females 4-5 partners and the average female probably has the males 18. Of course it’s not some magic number, everyone is different… but it might help inform you more on this.

I think this is going a bit too far. My point is that sex is being distributed, and if so, it should be distributed by women in a very similar manner to how men distribute sex to women.

Oh go forth and multiply James.

I don’t mean to sound like a feminist here but when it comes to controlling human sexuality for the purposes of establishing a social structure, the male needs have historically been given a priority over female’s. If male sexuality is naturally more noncommittal (promiscuous) then it would be more detrimental to the establishment of a stable family unit then the female’s. Right? However, despite that, higher moral standards have been assigned to female sexuality, while the man’s sexual moral standard has been more lenient and more accommodating to their natural inclinations. The system is self–serving, and self-defeating also. Think about anti-cuckoldry morals. A man expects a woman to be faithful (to make sure the child is his) while he is freer to fuck around with other women (who incidentally may also be in relationships and are expected to remain faithful to their own man). He tries to preserve the system and at the same time helps destroy it.

Yes, it’s hard for me to see it. I don’t think women can love more than one man at the same time, but maybe it’s just me. Don’t men feel like they are betraying one woman while they are with another? It’s like taking something from one to give it to another. There is only so much time and resources available. If you spread it thin and wide, the quality (of relationship) has got to suffer.

The harem system comes to mind, in which male natural sexuality and the need for structure are most accommodating - to male’s needs + social structure. I don’t see it working for a woman though who is now continually forced to share and compete for ‘her’ man.

Since women are less promiscuous, they are less likely to cheat while in a committed relationship. Women are also more likely to want a monogamous relationship to begin with, even young women, and that is because they have more to gain from a stable relationship.

Are you saying 16yr old males are the most sexually desirable? I don’t think so.

Another untruth. It is possible and likely that women become more promiscuous as they gain more sexual experience and confidence. Female sexuality peaks much later than male’s.

For women that may be so, but for men, there is always Viagra. There are a plenty middle aged horny Sugar Daddies going after young girls these days. Which actually brings me to another point: If you are obviously past your sexual prime and need to take medications to have sex, then maybe your need is not so much physical as psychological, and sex is the chosen way to satiate it.

You keep talking about suicide in men due to lack of sex, but men can always pay for sex and have their needs met. Because men’s needs are so simple and straightforward they are more easily dealt with.

This sounds more like a self-esteem issue. One may think it’s a man vs. man issue, but I think it’s actually individual mind thing. Maybe comparing one’s self to assholes is what brings one down.

But there is emotional neglect/abuse, which is more important to women then sex. Emotional infidelity is more serious to women.

You want men and women to be equally promiscuous? I couldn’t see why women would even want to settle down and raise men’s children under these circumstances. Maybe in some primitive tribal societies that is the norm, where all resources are shared and everybody raises everybody else’s children, and everybody is related to everybody and all are one big happy family.

I want to reply to this first since it is the most important, and I’ll look closer at your other points. Being promiscuous does not make anyone, man or woman, non-committal. There are plenty of women who don’t want anything to do with their children and so men raise them, men have just as much investment for raising offspring as any woman does. This stuff about ‘commitment’ which is propaganda for ‘monoamory’ and stable families is a lie! There are plenty of stable families where people are polyamorous. The reason men are more controlling of their women and they feel it’s their inclination to not follow the same moral imposition is because women SEEK out jealous men, I have discussed this in other areas of this forum. They feel like the man doesn’t “love” them if they aren’t possessive of her sex… it’s a real psychopathy that most women have. Regardless, I have stated multiple times, this point and others which you have not even approached addressing, that because men are more promiscuous, the female suicide rate is lower than the male rate.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xat1GVnl8-k[/youtube]

I don’t know enough about history to comment on this. My feeling is that whatever system was in place, it was more lenient towards men and their transgressions no matter what particular moral standard or law we’re talking about.

Yes, of course, but this has more to do with their moral sensibility than it does their sex drive. I mean, it just seems to me (and I could be wrong) than women’s libido is a lot more affected by their morals and values, or what they think is appropriate or not, than men’s. So if the idea of cheating on their partner seems offensive to the average woman, that sentiment is more likely to turn her off than it would for the average man–even though the average man may still find it morally offensive. IOW, the guy’s just got to take a cold shower more readily than the girl.

Oh, and by the way, don’t ever let a guy tell you he can’t help it, that it’s just part of male nature. Committing one’s self to one woman ain’t that hard.

I suppose, but the same could be said about friends. Neither men nor women typically say that if they’re going to be friends with someone, it has to be exclusive. We can easily conceive of having whole groups of friends that share bonds with each other. But of course, male/female relationships based on love and sex are about a lot more than just the two people involved–it is (or can become after a while) about a family–that is, producing and raising the next generation. I think women tend to be more focused/concerned about this aspect of the male/female relationship, whereas men tend to remain back it the “friendship” style of relationship–just with sex and romance being involved when it’s a female friend.

I like you ty. Don’t go changing.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQdSUxB7VnQ[/youtube]

And don’t imagine you’re too familiar, and I don’t see you any more! I could not leave you in times of trouble, I’ll take you just the way you are: don’t go trying some new fashion, don’t change the colour of your hair; I don’t want clever conversation, I never want to work that hard…?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AABgXnPBqk[/youtube]

What is this? I thought we were all done calling women who have sex with many different men ‘sluts’ and ‘whores’. Shouldn’t we also be done calling men who have sex with lots of different women ‘womanizers’? Are we calling sluts and whores ‘mananizers’ now?

“Mananizer”, I like that.

It’s fun to say, like “onomatopoeia” or “jiggle it a little, it’ll open”.

I discovered that to be true of women long ago.
You just have to be careful how to jig-gle the gig-gle.

This is of course right, but I do want to Point out that whore and womanizer just don’t seem to carry the same degree of moral slap.
Promiscuous, while still a pejorative, at least focuses on frequency and scope. That would seem a fair gender neutral term.