Okay. I admit that most men are not as forthcoming in expressing and sharing their feelings, something that maybe more important to women.
(that doesn’t mean men don’t have ANY feelings)
Thank you, arc. I was thinking the answer may lie somewhere along these lines, as I believe that children’s early experiences with primary caregivers (role models) are likely to have a strong and invisible influence on their adult behavior patterns. However, to be on a conservative side, it may require years of experience in dealing with people to be even somewhat confident in this analysis, perhaps someone like a therapist/counselor, who over the years, may be able to see certain patterns. Psychological studies/research (at least over decades long) on the causes of this behavior may also shed some light. There may also be a need to consider cultural differences/expectations of gender roles. In any case, I think it would be worthwhile to look into this type of research.
By ‘womanizer’ I meant those who use charm and deception to hook and drag a woman along - the players, the Casanovas, the machos, the lady-killers, etc. Those types. The pretenders.
Obviously men and women have different needs. But this is where lies and deception come in (or ‘the game’ as all you playas call it). Men want sex. Women want a relationship based on emotional reciprocity/involvement. You can’t really lie in sex: once you have sex you know you’ve had sex. But it’s different when a man peddles ‘bullshit’ as real feelings. It’s not a fair trade, even if it is ‘presented’ as one in exchange for sex. If you want just sex, without the bullshit, then buy it from a prostitute.
I’ve been called charming my whole life. Just the other day, an 80 year old lady said to me, “I bet you see the whole world of all of us with those eyes of yours.”, second time I’d ever met her, to this day she smiles and talks me up everytime I cross her path. The thing I try to explain about women, is that charm, beauty, intelligence… meaningless, aggression, meaningful. Once you understand that, you understand a very large and important part of what’s going on here. I once had a native american woman walk up to me and say, “I feel like I need to tell you this, I have never been attracted to a white man my entire life ( I was young at the time and she was much older), but there is something different about you, you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen.” and then walked away. (although, technically, I’m 1/16th Cherokee). I’ve had a life filled with bizarre stuff like this. But oddly enough, not much sex, because I know the rules of what men are supposed to do to make the world a better place and I abide by them.
I agree that it isn’t a fair trade, but… god damn in my idealistic romanticized mind, sex shouldn’t be something you trade.
My response:
I can’t speak for all men but i don’t just want sex, but I at least want sex. Lots of other things I want too, like faithfulness, honesty, compassion, excitement, passion, creativity, … perhaps another list that I can’t completely enumerate.
It sucks to have to do this, but after seeing a pattern of women who prefer to fuck your bullshit rather than your honesty, what else is a man to do? Are women all this gullible? Buying it from a prostitute sounds like an easy answer, but that’s illegal and frankly dirty (in my mind)… I hope I’m not the only man who is generally disinterested in women who sleep around. To me, faithfulness is incredibly important, almost as important as “will you fuck me”.
Frequent orgasms are important to men… for some, important enough to LIE for them when HONESTY does [may] not work as well and/or ceases to be an effective tool for maintaining desired frequency of orgasms
BTW if you have any more suggestions about how I can get more sex with less bullshit, I’m all ears…
I will give this to you immediately, and you won’t fuck me for it - in fact, you’ll probably be turned off (not you specifically, just being general about past experiences)
I give you a bunch of bullshit → More likely to fuck me for it
A relationship with all the emotional reciprocity/involvement + no sex = friendship
I selected this one yesterday helland. She was 30 years old, 5 foot 2 inches, 106 lbs and has 34 D’s. Super clean. Manicure/pedicure, salon quality hair, completely hairless from the eyebrows down. An impressive specimen. She’s one of those girls who’s so hot that she will literally get herself drunk and just listen to music and dance naked in front of a mirror rubbing on herself for hours, only taking breaks to hit the bong or drink another drink. Now here’s the funny part…she’s a 4th grade school teacher. So when you send your kids to school and you think, “oh that teacher seems like such a sweet young lady”, she’s probably not. If a girl has a hot body, they usually put it to work for em.
No he didn’t, since they are both the same thing, he didn’t say evolution is the survival of the fittest either, Spencer did, and Darwin said he was wrong in reply, “Evolution is not the survival of the fittest it is the survival of those most able to adapt to nature”, it has nothing to do with Wall st either. Sexual selection is a survival strategy, it’s also natural selection.
This is well said incorrect… you and smears both talk about this aspect of sexual selection that I haven’t raised yet, the lying. Men who offer a genuine presence of reciprocity and involvement (using the terms you’re throwing around right now) don’t fair very well. It’s SO ubiquitous to be the nice guy who doesn’t get laid - to end up in the “friendzone”. You hit the nail on the head when you said “not only won’t you fuck me for it, YOU’LL PROBABLY BE TURNED OFF.” I have seen men try to have THIS discussion with women more times than I can count, and the first thing you notice is that when they try to have this discussion, it completely turns women off, in many of the instances I’ve had such discussions with women, their number one response to it is “Strange, I’ve had lots of guys tell me the same thing.”, what’s interesting about trying to open this discussion with women, is that they immediately become uncomfortable and it turns them off. Women have a completely different experience with men to this regard, if a woman says that lack of sex in her life is bothering her, particularly if she’s nice, it doesn’t turn men off, it turns them on, because men have a tendency to want to use sex to make peoples lives better, particularly if they’re nice people. I said somewhere in these threads that women actually FEEL like dirty people for having sex with the right men, while men feel like dirty people for having sex with the wrong women… it’s really hard to address an issue like this when the gender FEELS dirty for doing the right thing and is TURNED ON by doing the wrong thing. Male sexuality is not backwards to this extent, men are turned on by non-bullying women and men are turned off by bullying women.
In the few instances a woman has ever feigned to approach me, her first question is usually “What do you do for work?”, the odds of a man asking any of these money or status questions to a woman are extremely small. I don’t even bother with the work question, I just say, “I don’t feel like telling you” and then they usually go away.
No, it is not. Natural selection is an environmental force that determines the life or death of an organism. Sexual selection is force coming from one sex (or both) of a species that determines whether an organism’s genes will be passed on to the next generation. If an organism is not selected sexually, it can still live to a ripe old age and die of natural causes. Darwin first proposed natural selection as the mechanism by which life evolves. This was in Origin of the Species. In his next book, he proposed sexual selection because he realized at that point that natural selection was not enough to account for why certain genes get passed on and others don’t. A gene that is selected for sexually is not necessarily a gene that helps the organism survive in its environment; it’s just a gene that is attractive to the opposite sex. Likewise, a gene that is absolutely necessary for survival in an organism’s environment will not survive into the next generation if it is not attractive to the opposite sex.
I don’t Think you know what is actually happening in sex. Most people don’t. There is an Exchange. Even if coldly carried out, it is intimate. I do not mean this in the banal sense of Close Contact, but two (or more) people intermix on emotional and other levels along with the physical.
Increasing amounts of bullshit is all the stuff you Think is not really involved, but it is. It is just happening on more unconcsious levels. I Think women feel this and know it more often than men do. Men Think sex is a very complicated newtonian phenomenon. That’s insane.
I do think it’s involved - I really, really think it’s involved, moreso for my partner, and while I don’t like it per se, I don’t mind doing it, as long as I actually get sex. Frequently. It’s what men need, Its what I need. ‘For better or for worse’ right?
I help out with the dishes once for the first time in forever, and you appreciate it. I get laid that night. I do it again, because I care about you, but you expect it. I don’t get laid that night. I do it a third time, it turns you off - I’m doing something womanly, repeatedly, albeit to help you, and you don’t fuck me. So I stop doing the dishes. You start complaining about me not doing the dishes, and don’t fuck me.
this is the bullshit I don’t need
if this is the bullshit that is a part of sex at a subconscious level (its not for me), whoop-de-fucking-do… just fuck me frequently regardless of my dish habits, because there’s no right answer here
Men don’t think sex is a complicated newtonian phenomenon. Men just want sex, frequently. Women know this. They exploit this. THIS IS THE BULLSHIT. And womanizing might work better than dealing with this bullshit
