coming through the antichrist

Proof for god’s existence: it’s all you, You,
When I empty myself for you, there is nothing: left is only the outline of your being as it was, coming through the echoes of ages rhythmic, vibrating possibility in the moment,
The seeming suspense tightly drawn toward zenith,
Long ago, suspended almost weightlessly above the foam, the blue of immeasurable light years,
Dozens of hundreds of millions of wagners,
Before falling , down into inertia,
The pull of gravity, and just before waking
The center bulls eye hit, in someone else’s eye,
(And he whispers I wrote it down only for you) as to
Be there, in the same spot,
For your eyes, only, with your childlike stupidity,
It is for you written these lines,
As don’t forget that all of this sorrily must pass,
Because, so much ennui,
Boredom, unholy,
Forgetting the second to second miracle,
And yet you breath, and someone remembers,
Your tender arms, in prayer to an unknown god,
A god evolved to in your image so you may be worshiped, and pay the heavy price for others,
Every man’s redemption, do you believe,
In spite of the message of the media,
It’s in the moment dear, not the thrown away left, abandoned novel in your trembling hands just before you fell asleep, and me thinking of you , me
Who no longer exists in the usual meaning of the term,
Your sacred heart as the drum beat of an eternal tune,
Does transcend space, and time.

If you had to choose, would you choose belief, in your self, just for one more second,

So that you may forgive? Yourself.

April 6, 2013 santa catalina

It will happen the question is when. It’s like with Estergonn: we are waiting. For Godot, but why must we wait.

Programmed to wait. The orgasm is a good example. We need pleasure, but we have to wait for it, not long. But the east advises: retain it. Then the waiting is over. Then there is nothing to wait for.

Waiting for the baby to come. Then waiting for the first day in school and he came in alone. Then waiting until he grows up leaves, and you see him sometimes. And dad, he says joyfully, to make your heart bleed.

And you try to send him messages you hope he picks up. He may or may not.

Then you see him after a long time lost so much wait I don,t know what his problem is, he looks different. After he was gone I though that should’ve been a clue.

Then we go down what used to be called octopus garden, and he puts on foreigner or journey and he is too high into the surf and the sun. And we talk of the 60’s and what went wrong, and borderline personality, and I ask him if he read on the road, or cities of the red night or junky or naked lunch, and he says no.

The following summer I see him as a little boy I used to cradle, (I can never overcome this vision, maybe my LSD is in his blood and genes) and I think of visions of cody, and japhy ryder, and we talk. I try to tell him what happened to the sixties my happen to him, and he thinks not much of my prophesied and I quit.

At the river little boy, barefoot, and he says he caught a big carp and shows it and says grandma will be up and she is expecting it for dinner, but it is very hot up in old bakersfield,and the frog is out, so have an idea to put it back into kern river and rig it to a rock, but it get’s loose and washes down river, and we see it flowing down the river it is a big fish and we try to chase it, and his little well formed feet running down shore, and after he began to teach he always said I love you dad and how is my favorite father,and as it turned out he was the only one among four who really knew how to love. The fish was caught and we try to fry it right away but it turned out to be a mess, and grandma went hungry.

That last night he asked me if we were going to rome, but he meant to say india, and then he came close real close I was sitting on the sofa his sister gave to us, and he asked about the show: it was like bonfire of the vanities, a little black boy nobody paid attention to got run over, and I felt something horribly desperate,

And it was a very hot day and he lied he said he just came home from work,
But later found not so he was surfing and trying to make up his little mind, and he. Said he will sleep upstairs, and nothing would convince him. To sleep downstairs, before he cut his wrists upstairs and turn on the barbecue, he swigged cold vodka on ice,
And turned on the radio, that will be always stamped as he will be remembered my little boy,
And he wrote horribly about his wife, and I knew what she was like and he was naive to her street smart,

And my hear hurts, and he left alone like he came in as his first cry was so loud, the nurse warned us about waking the other infants,

And he got a copy of lonesome traveler and flew to boston,had to be brought back cause lost all his money somehow, then went to nashville and got arrested for bugging taylor swift,

After the downturn came quickly.

Go alone to secret places now holding dear those, one called strawberry fields forever, another brown eyed girl, where the hues of green assuredly with incense and peppermint,and the trees,oh the trees, their scent bringing in the reminder that we shall see each other, the eucalyptus and the sage, the noche de dama perfuming santa monica boulevard when out for love bar hopping and bouncing with the rythim and the flame that drove back to texas,

Then the last night, a pet shop boys concert first, and he didn’t want to go up there at night like Terry used to do but he. Is gone there too, and singularly,

And terry was looking through a buddhist book many monks of notable countenance and showed one almost perfectly matching his likeness.

And seeing the error of his ways, it’s just a catharsis.

To mother of abstract.

Thank you obe for sharing this with me. I read the one before this one first. How beautifully written…both.

A revealed secret can instead lead to more secrets – and given new secrets could also be newly created indefinitely I would then propose that not all secrets destroy themselves but instead unravel a beautiful story for the detective or disclosurer of secrets. I also further believe that in the scope of an entirely 3D universe that there is no future, and ‘no past’, instead only the present but except that during the mental deciphering brain process we actually live slightly behind the ‘present’ – so yes, we are in the past. However, if time is not an abstract concept (4D universe), and if historical archiving of the past is attained, as well as planned compilations of the future ‘stored’ somewhere (this for a 3D universe), can take into account all temporal states of time. And if time travel were a possibility it would indeed have to be pre-ordained by a suitable sentience or nature itself.

Your relation between ‘faith’ and ‘determinism’ (as a means to undermine it) make absolutely no sense to me – I would appreciate if you explained it.

The ‘anti Christ’ to me is an entity that seeks the entire opposite than what Jesus would have desired – that is, he/she/it desires us to commit sin, to lower our morals, and mayhap attempts to disprove the notion of God and praises Hedonistic/Satanist behaviour (the latter not necessarily a bad thing, as long as its secular morality code does not bring hazard to others). I would not necessarily categorize the anti Christ as an aspect of ‘negation’, that implies neutrality. The anti-Christ advocates hell, pain, suffering, torment and severe agony to all at the benefit of his/her’s distorted pleasurable self.

I don’t understand that how the realization of the self as the ‘singular’ bears any cure against ailments of a fictional being such as the anti-Christ. To me it is when we realise ourselves as belonging to a ‘community’, and hence to others, that we are able to grasp the concepts of Christ and then negate the anti.

Nice poems and ditties by the way – unfortunately I don’t usually read poems in forums with full attentiveness. I do have a question based on them though, that is, do you think the ‘anti-Christ’ would try to bring down family relationships? Or any relationships by affected? Or would he/she/it instead manipulate friendships so as to form a hierarchy where the devil itself was in power?

Would the anti-Christ keep secrets? If so about what – anything we do not know already? I wonder what he/she would look like as a person, I personally perceive Satan (if a person) to be a very tall extremely tanned unattractive long-haired dark blonde (with male sexual organs – a tranny almost) who wears geeky glasses and is on a severe dose of medication to control their OCD of ultimate evil intent. Would the anti-Christ be Satan (Lucifer)? Would the anti-Christ be the devil itself? Or are we expecting something else, mayhap not quite human?

 Thank You.

There is a solution. And it is not from above or below. It is in value, worth. The self has been abjegated. It’s no longer the era of the confidence man, it now more then anytime ever, it must be left.

But what’s left?

The mirror.

When you look into the mirror, what’s left?

What’s left is reversed. It is the key.

Things are reversed. What is this reversal?

The way, the first shall be last.

The end- the beginning. Who said the anti anything, is ****. Or was? It isn’t what’s left. It is what was, before anything was. What was before anything?

Something, that’s not left.

But surely, it is not right.

Indeed it isn’t.

Before anything. Is.

 Before anything, something prefigured.  The non sense. Where they who do not see, do not understand.  Those that do not understand, do not believe.



 Believe in what?




 In the beginning was.....




Waiting...

For? Godot, godard, God! Yes, waiting for God.

Waiting?

Yes, yes, waiting. What else worth waiting for?

How do you know? How do you know we are waiting?

Or even: waiting for. God? (Spell god backward dog------we certainly not waiting for dog?

We may very well be:::cerburus

Why wait? Especially for cerburus?

Because…it’s better to wait for cerburus, then a dog.

Why? Why? Because cerburus is an old dog…yes, a very old dog…a faithful and old dog…listen this is absurd…its theatre…and …
I believe he can be trained, after all he can be fooled! Didn’t faust—ahem, well yes,
But we were young, and especially …you can’t teach old dogs new tricks

That’s hypothetical…so what should we do? Just wait?

No, stop waiting. He is here. He is right here. No more waiting. You asked for it. Well here he is to collect.

What? But he can not…can’t you think of something???(The grand inquisitor paused and slowly, very slowly ---------------------------as long as someone will love him,
He will not understand it but it will stop him in his tracks, he cannot deal with that. He will not be able to understand it, and he will be transfigured.

Transformed…(But whispers slowly, stop–i am dreaming). But it has been done. Thy will!

You caused it. The purifying fire::::he is here. It Has Begun:::::the abomination! Can you not feel the sudden change or I am dreaming.

Wide awake, know what is coming: but what can not burn will not perish.

(Heard it said the anichrist will be an ultra sophisticated set of supercomputers, which finally will be the only cognitive entity to manage the world’s total interrelational databses). At this point control, at some point have to be ceeded to the computer itslef, since to understand the composite, the elemental decisions will need to par in.

 If the antichrist is this entity, then in order to plug into this, a cybernetic/cyborg type design will need to be the go in between.

Why though? In order to? To gather those who when without lifting finger,

Wherefrom priveleged you where have you been,
Deer, aftergolow shows on, and on, it morphs,
(Incidentally noone ridiculed you while all this going on, as excodus 2 happening, and the three asias decide,

Love will decide don’t worry, and when it comes with him, as in a drearily dreadful stagnant salon where you have been also belonged, (and remebering it all the typisch of you lying on grass believeing in practically everything without boreing a hole into their hell, ); or (heaven)

Then she comes he shoiulders slacked sumpily, simply , slumped, and you say see all this new grass in that bright sun spot,

And you will again come back now that you have forgotten it, and me, and remains the thightness of
Realising it can come anytime as long as you don’t show it or the others can’t make a comment on it.

Bless you child

But what of negation? Is it not a qualifier? Are you fearful to be left out to the gnasihing of teeth? Not if you love the dogs. You have to love them, for they do not know. Can’t you remeber their function? Is it by naught that they became man’s best friend?

(The cats are no different’ excepting of them being a magical species, long mimed in the courts of the Pharaoh.)

It’s getting closer all the time: can’t you but feel it? It is only through the gretaest effort that you can come across, and the price is, well you know, beware all you who come here, you have to totally undress, and in your nakedness, you may pass.

The avenging angels, through a glass, darkly, they weigh in, your soul on one side, and the beast the other.

Do not fear the Lord, because He is full of kindness and love.

Mea culpa mea maxima culpa!

Boy I need a friend! When certain limits are reached, would it be tended to the test? Can it be ever? What would be those limits? How close can you go? You say the emperors clothes do you? But where are the children now? Buried under some poisoned gas we’d all like to avoid. Is this freedom? Can we do pax americana via short cut? Is that the deal? Where have all the flowers gone long time passing. Have gone to soldiers everyone…

If you only knew you want to find out? It’s so trite but with universal applications…

Thank you. Printemps. Stravinsky.
Thank you. Sacre du. It is what it is.

Navy. Great. Lakes 1964. Then denver, boulder 1982 kerouac’s 25 th anniversary publication of on the road. Who is still on the road. Your absurd.

If I told you how you have exceeded your limits, you’d tell me your crazy. But there are no limits. Only appearent ones.

Alone again, naturally.

Social referentiiality, Habermas, fishing, naïve politics or subtle subterfuge, haven’t suffered enough? Marx: he who can’t learn from history, workers unite, contradictions within, internally, a retro function, black hole , not in a good way, sorry, it is not what it,
Appears,

How do you turn the wheel of karma? asked japhy back in 1982.

The wheel of Karma can stop it. Definitely. It’s so obviously clear. The anti christ will come, because he has learned since the last time, indeed he has; the grand inquisitor thought him not to fear.

The solution is so simple: and so very complex at the same time:

It is this: can you sit so very quiet, without the most subtle voice of god speaking, the buzzing bee, as it lifts the deep incense laden nectar from the gently sloping meadow as you lay there, dreaming every thing now, ever before and after, the no-one you always were, will be, and become you and me as one, as damian, in hesse’s mother and child reunion, as in the holy trinity three in one,

And you look down an eternal meadow, into vast greens and ambers mixed together in various hues, and some artist must have painted this you think, other’s only copied it, life is art,

The little bee and you in deep communion, expect mysteries all through your little life little bee,

For this short moment we meet.

Can you not see that this is the golden eternity in which your self is just a receiver so the creator can breathe

Through You? Is it not obvious and real?

What is real? Nature.

And at twilight, the gods too yawn, the dusk in yellowsih browns fall as without a whimper, and soon covered with white, and crystal, and smokestacks bellowing a sweet warm urgency from inside, and hark.

A silent night, so sleep sweet angel, sleep.

And, while all this whirring of machinery, and the palnets and galaxies hurling through space at incredible pace, the stillness, though: not made to seem real, it not only becomes it, IT IS !!!

If he comes then he comes. You will see his coming, and He will be indistinguishable. The time is certainly right. But who is he? It’s certainly not me,
It is not even human. It may very well be a machine, an extra terrestrial. But one thing, though:

This is the time to realize what is so obvious: we all have to repent, and change our ways. We all have to become ourselves, and drop the in authentic. We all have to become the brothers we were always intended to be.

It is the time when pretences are dropped, or bombs will. We have only a year or so maybe less, of a window of opportunity.

Reminders of a dream of Polanyi. Out of nowhere. Where did that name prop up?.Later found him to be a Jung enthusiast.

No joke.

The feeling is mutual: when he comes: let him in and give him shelter, & when he seeks food, give him bread to alley his hunger.

The absurd futurist

Ps: Nietzche’s book about his relationship with his sister was most likely a forgery according to most scholars. It’s not funny but sad.

When he comes through, if he doesn’t shout, will we be able to “crucify that tiny voice”?

[size=85](quoted part from The Idiot)[/size]

In addition, that tiny voice has suffered a crucifixion already. That tiny voice was the message, and that message has become the media. Mass media will surely misrepresent the anti christ, and our feelings toward him will be shaped by the various media outlets defining his reign. If a gross auto dafe is anticipated, it will be down played by insignificant news clips,and pronouncements. It will have to be, otherwise gross paranoias will burst forth. Look towards the artificial staging of minor civil disobedience occurrences, which will be nothing else then blowing up the minor fractures, in order to undermine and eliminate major stressors underlying a possible catastrophic structural disintegration.

The days are numbered as to the day of his coming, but he will come in as a thief into the night.

News item: big unprecedented burst upends gammar ray theories

Astreonomers have chronicled a record burst of gamma rays from the death throes of a massive star that imploded into a black hole, and their readings forcing them to rethink the physics of these mysterious cosmic events.

This burst was a once-in-a-century cosmic event,"…

Three NASA satillites---the Fermi Gamma-ray Space Telescop, the Swift observatory and Nuclear Spectroscopic Telescope ArrAy, or NuStar---recorded the event, which was detected at 12:47 a.m. Pacific time on April 27. So did the system of robotic ground based telescopes that make up the Rapid Telescopes for Optical Response Project, or RAPTOR, which is operated at Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico.
 What all these instruments saw was the longest and brightest gamma ray burst on record.

 "It's much more than the energy that the sun has emmitted in it's whole life,"....

 "Most of this energy was released in just a few tens of seconds, then the source slowly began to decay away." ......

 Scientists determined that GRB 130427A, as the event was dubbed, occured 3.75 billion light years away.That means the radiation beams left the dying star around the time Earth's crust first solidified, and they've been speeding through space ever since.

 It sounds like a great distance,but it's quite close for such a massive gamma ray bursts. Typically, a burst of this size would originate about 10 billion light-years away, according to NASA.

 Scientific instruments captured streams of data from GRB 130427A for about 20 hours, much longer than from any other gamma ray burst.

International research teams have spent months analyzing the data and double-checking the prevaiiling theoretical framework for the basic physics of such bursts.  So far, some of the math is not working out quite as expected.  

 "We measured events at very high energy that challenge traditional modeling" of gamma ray bursts......

 Gamma ray bursts are something of the firefly of the astronomy world---very brief but intense radiation events that occur in every reach of the known universe almost daily.  They are the highest 

-energy events since the big bang and offer windows into the late stages of different kinds of stars and into the genesis of black holes. But they often are so distant they are hard to analyze.

 The gamma radiation is produced by processes involving shock waves from material ejected by the black hole "engine" that was formed when the star collapsed.  Shells of material travelling at different speeds--all very close to the speed of light--pile up on one another, like snow in front of a shovel, creating internal shocks that emit low-energy gamma photons.

 The leading edge of the beam also collides with the interstellar medium. Producing a massive external shock and emitting high-energy gamma rays, X rays, visible lght and other electromagnetic radiation, known as the afterglow.

 Scientists believed that much of the energy of the afterglow could be explained by something called "synchrotron shock" in which particles accelerated by the shocks interact with magnetic fields and cast off high-energy photons$

 There is a theoretical limit to the amount of energy that ought to be emitted by such synchrotron radiation, and that limoit appears to have been shattered during the event.  ....


Something must break. A fundamental physical process has been challenged."

Thought this may be of interest.-for those who. Have not seen this.

Heard about the tea party sponsored continental convention? A new antifederalist movement to shift power to the states, the ultimate substantial chaos caused by the defacto devaluation of the dollar caused by the government printing of trillions of dollars to cover the ever increasing debt repayment , the USA is burdened with.

As far as Antichrist is concerned, to make it more palatable ,it is not suit generis, however an awareness of this entropic entity can not be denied.

The aroborous of desire machines dictates the movement away from and toward the dis-overlap the differentiation of it, from it’s object.

The second constitutional congress if it happens may unearth treapasses, , totally blinding TV e rational mind with fears if a disunity, no longer based on formal elements of social inequity, foe these were only forebearers of a deep constitutional flaw, the measure of which may no longer covers it’s inherent flaw.

A flaw the quantum has unwittingly laid bare.

 Universalization  as an antidote  does well  as long as the centrifugal  forcea if disunity  are countered  by the centripetal forces  of entropy. 


The  Antichrist  is a new  yet  the same  force, but this time it will refer to it's  source the father.

 This is a reversal and if universlization  works it can counter  the growing  irrelevance of prescribed  boundaries. 

   Nationalities collapsing the next  level  of a new ground : the identification of primary motives  on an accelerating  dates in line queue the rate  of change  of information utilization. 

Biofeedback  systems  resulting  in stronger  internal pressures  have  to internalizes individual  applications in order  to avoid  the seemingly  unavoidable  realization  of what  the true  center  really is,  foe which  no Everyman  is capable  of. 

This chakra is no longer a possibility of realization but an increasing. Probability.

This is where the great panic or tribulation may start.

For these reasons janitor absolutely necessary that a one world be no longer be some one’a illusion for they on a turn of a minute they can blind into a delusion.

 Someone  has to say it,  and he will become  the modern  Baptist,  and lest his face burn with  the energy  of a thousand  suns,  that one has to carry the weight. 

May the good lord excuse and forgive those who have not yet seen, and let their humility nor be mistaken for brazen idolatry.

2

To love somebody. The immense hurt is it’s own validation. It started like this:

Having dinner with my angel youngest and her now husband, she 2 months pregnant, they were saying they want to move upstairs to the 2 bedroom cause the baby will need a nursery.

Then remembered where we started downtown in the duplex, and now that she is getting on, well el says, will live in one and we will rent out the other, so that well have more moiney to spare.

Not remebering that only my daughters' and her fiances asking me to help them move, I say, why don't you two move into that house downtown? Plenty of space although spicy neighberhood you can tolerate.

Now you may be wondering what this has to do with the antichrist, well this one starts bottom upwards, just like our pretty house which is way upside down, and el said it’s only a question of time when the payments will double.

So naturally al accepts and is already counting all the extra money saved will go for gerbers and diapers, when I see very delusional twigs form into rather weird looking objects. Then the nausea the satrean sort, and I am all out, cause I love el, when she doesent turn into a witch. But remeber what you wished for, and remebering the eagles song that trub-adored witchy woman, and then heck with it fuck it all, I love that little witch who has such regards for exemplars of the medical professions like young quite doctors.

Course she went for me, now she says to escape the clutches of mrs control, and the irony of her turning into as such escapes her.  

Nevertheless, the love of doubles is very blind indeed, and triples deadly. She is 3 if ever was one.


So out I am thrown willy nilly the little upside down pagoda of 6 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, and seek asylum in phoning around for some kind of semblance of endearment none to be found, except the one who asked to be let into the downtown place wrong side of the tracks.

But heck who cares when your 25 and feel little hopeful mounds of flesh regenerating the gene pool?

So here we are out the door, and gues what ? A little room , and not necessarily in the prarie is upward of $699 per month credit check and references, plus no smoke drink or company?  And no private entrance, but parade trhough a parlor of daffodils and brocade, reminsicent of gross confusion, but somehow a throwback into more lethargy.

She says, well come on over around 4 and let me take a look at you before I let you stay  here, since I don't just let in  anyone. I say ok, well knowing I'd rather sleep in the car.

And I call her back and she says- aren't you dead yet, if not take poison,or come here and I can prepare one.

 So the thought occurs, that it is true well said, what they said about jack kerouac being really but really crazy as applying to me, for a single minute was thinking of going down to psych and checking me in free of charge.  But not so said my guardian angel, and you still have living to do, and all that psych stuff is old and been done before by the likes of allen ginsburg and his partner.

But wait, isn't there a mantra to the effect that crazy mothers harbor genii?carl  Solomon, his publisher got a kick out of insulin shock and desribes it well in a little booklet of said name.

Nah, I go, again a continuation of 90+ farenheit degrees of simulacrum summer, and shame, all of the good ones are not here wity me sipping on a can of club gin martini 80 proof hits the spot, and now ovejoyed on finding nifty sunglasses and try to disattach even that bleak steamy cement which is so out of place here.  The gin goes down smooth, and I hear an echo- keep on writing, you still love her, and if you go back , (back where?) You may find more of the same left behind about 50 years ago"

Oh no, they are tired, so tired , and then remember the sudden jerk of the internet, where she looked up the meaning of what a scared and angry little kitten may mean in a dream, and how hideously she tried to avert my eyes from it, but seeing some nevertheless.

I don’t really exist anymore, and that is a luxury few can consciously afford nowedays, and the beat goes on as voluptiously, as freud’s famous patient, the werewolf, buit with oh such differance!

I know I am not, as I know it is a way way vaning moon, and gotta make the best of it.

It's really beach weather, and the jetsetting freebobs who spend a small fortune just to buy a postcard aligned with palm trees and with the froth beguiling as do coors commercials and artifacts associated to ski and sea and windspray, must thin what the hell!!!!!this guy slurping gin in a musty parking lot.

But I know what I have to do, and this time it may take on an aura of sophistication to put on my dark glasses, to hide the preturbance underneath, of the loss of such myraid gentle emotions as possible lost love. My el,will never leave me, because I am a hermetic magician, a profundis serial lover, in spite of, and on account of the onswet of the gravity of inflected time.

If el will love me not no more,then I am simply a vanishing point of a dragonfly’s ass.

I was gonna out this in creative writing, but the memory trace of the antichrist, as a whisp of has been memory of has been once upon a time a trickle of something akin to the manna of gods, the nectar of the muse,

Tell me, please, that all the sysyphus dredge of irrevocable labor meant not to be lost in the annals of a sepulchre of the compression into just one little signal, from you, that the connection will not only drive you,

But hide you from

And bide you, here an extra few,

So as, the millions of scripts will tarnish not into the vainglorious tumult, that is you, my dear

My dear my dear my dear it hurts, if I die now, I would, if I could.

On the contrary now, if not that what? Another wave of the wand, and the green eyes become gently,but a regression into the primitive lush child woman,

(You’ll never read this, hope? Or regret? But if you do, move on without the slightes remorse cause no greater love, as with him, not a worth of fulfillment.

Gotta go, to pick up john john, jamie. Joanie, and janie. And my daughter be brave and go through with it, it will be a boy.