Lol i thought it’d be a good one to have people puzzling over on ILP
This has been said a hundred times but…
In the immortal words of Socrates…
I DRANK WHAT!?
Another one everyone would have likely heard before…
A theoretical physicist is in a bar drinking next to an empty stool, glancing at it every so often. The barman eventually asks him why and he says,
“According to quantum physics, a beautiful, blonde perfect woman could suddenly materialise out of all the many possibilities and form in her macroscopic self right here on this seat beside me and want to go out with me”
The barman says, “There are a few beautiful women in here; why don’t you ask one of them if they’d like to go out with you?”
The physicist replies, “Pfft, yea like that’ll ever happen!”
How many existentialists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to change the lightbulb and one to observe how the lightbulb symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of Cosmic Nothingness.How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends on how you define ‘change’.How many monists does it take to change a light bulb?
Don’t be silly, there is only ONE monist…
To expand on this. From the philosophical humor web page:
Sartre and Camus were eating onions. Both agreed that the heart of the onion tasted like a dead God.
“We still get off on rolling the stone up the hill,” said Camus.
"We who? said Sartre.
Advice to Wile E Coyote–You would do well to stop reading Kierkegaard.
Plato–The ulitimate apple pie lies beyond our cave wall illusion.
Aristotle–Well go get it,I’m hungry.
“Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” - Oscar Wilde
Via Tatler magazine…
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Scholastics–God makes them do it.
Idealists–All the goodies are on the other side.
Existentialists–To come back and do it again forever.
Pragmatists–For some fowl reason.
Neitzscheans–It’s chicken, all too chicken.
As seen on Tatler on Facebook today:
"A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love" - Friedrich Nietzsche
"In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria."
~ Franklin (As in…Ben)
A poetic one…
I just saw a chicken crossing the road. Poultry in motion…
jonquil:How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends on how you define ‘change’.Talking about psychological jokes:
(I am embarassed already)–two psychiatrists are analysing each other. The receptionist hears a clamour inside, and calls security, thinking a patient took off on the shrink. Security bursts in, and asks for an explanation as to what has happened: the psychiatrist sitting atop the other ones says: ". We were fighting over the couch, and I told him that’s for freudians, and he is a jungian.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but the light bulb REALLY has to want to change.
I just thought of one:
While aiming a gun…
Chances are high you’ll hit the sky,
Chances are low you’ll hit the ground.
From “Laugh-In”,mid 1960s
What drove Oscar wild?
Clair Booth was Luce; But Lautrec was Touloose. SIC (Sp.)
A real Pythagorian commandment is “Thou shalt not eat beans.” Only one human orifice has the right to speak.
Here’s a great graffito I saw in a 6thForm toilet in 1978.
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To do is to Be.
Jean Paul Sartre
To Be is to Do,
Martin Heidegger.
To Be Do Be Do.
Francisco Sinatra.
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