Philosophical Jokes

Lol i thought it’d be a good one to have people puzzling over on ILP :evilfun:

This has been said a hundred times but…
In the immortal words of Socrates…

I DRANK WHAT!?

Another one everyone would have likely heard before…

A theoretical physicist is in a bar drinking next to an empty stool, glancing at it every so often. The barman eventually asks him why and he says,
“According to quantum physics, a beautiful, blonde perfect woman could suddenly materialise out of all the many possibilities and form in her macroscopic self right here on this seat beside me and want to go out with me”

The barman says, “There are a few beautiful women in here; why don’t you ask one of them if they’d like to go out with you?”

The physicist replies, “Pfft, yea like that’ll ever happen!”

:smiley:

To expand on this. From the philosophical humor web page:

consc.net/misc/lightbulb.html

Sartre and Camus were eating onions. Both agreed that the heart of the onion tasted like a dead God.

“We still get off on rolling the stone up the hill,” said Camus.
"We who? said Sartre.

Advice to Wile E Coyote–You would do well to stop reading Kierkegaard.

Plato–The ulitimate apple pie lies beyond our cave wall illusion.
Aristotle–Well go get it,I’m hungry.

Via Tatler magazine…

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Scholastics–God makes them do it.
Idealists–All the goodies are on the other side.
Existentialists–To come back and do it again forever.
Pragmatists–For some fowl reason.
Neitzscheans–It’s chicken, all too chicken.

As seen on Tatler on Facebook today:

‎"In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria."
~ Franklin (As in…Ben)

A poetic one…

I just thought of one:

While aiming a gun…
Chances are high you’ll hit the sky,
Chances are low you’ll hit the ground.


:laughing:

Pi and his wife at the marriage guidance counsellor…

:laughing:

Classic Science :slight_smile:

image.jpg

From “Laugh-In”,mid 1960s
What drove Oscar wild?

Clair Booth was Luce; But Lautrec was Touloose. SIC (Sp.)

A real Pythagorian commandment is “Thou shalt not eat beans.” Only one human orifice has the right to speak.

Here’s a great graffito I saw in a 6thForm toilet in 1978.
[size=120]
To do is to Be.
Jean Paul Sartre

To Be is to Do,
Martin Heidegger.

To Be Do Be Do.
Francisco Sinatra.
[/size]