Wise words Smears…once I stripped off some of the wood. 
And especially if what you need costs nothing except for some good time spent paying attention and appreciating it.
Man, I go through about $150 in plant nutrients alone every month, and it’s costing about $100 a month in electricity. Inevitably though, it always pays for itself.
I am outside thinking of a guy named josh I recently met at school. Well, my grandkids school. And thinking of picturing You smears sitting on couch and smoking. I locked myself out of my house which I will soon have to move out of, and thinking it may be just a minor adjustment to readjust to downtown from the suburbs. I’d like to smoke too and enjoy minimally, although I son’t remain the same. Well same but much much deeper. But no worries have been there countless of times, and it’s no fun coming up again. How low can I go? A through hell and back, and still able toi talk about it.
Waiting for wife to come home so can go into the house, then supper at my daughter and her fiance. Maybe another vintage hitchcock I bought them, but they want to watch the modern version of “The man who knew too much” lots of color, but less depth. Maybe they will put it on.
…feeling the ache in my thighs after hours of dancing at a Cirque de Bacanal brunch/party in town, but it was so worth the pain I’m feeling now 
and I got through it all while pretty much sober.
Was an f’ing hilarious day man 
Nearly set a record today for miles driven and errands completed in the shortest amount of time, I think.
I think I’ve died and gone to (late) party-season heaven 
Watering plants in the garden that are looking kinda thirsty in the early-Autumn sun…
Smoking a cig…
Watching some Sunday afternoon TV whilst I type…
Thinking about cooking a sirloin steak and fine green beans that have my name all over them…
About to learn a script for tomorrow 
I love to party all year magsj. 27 days till the islands.
Just finished eating my morning eggs, which I’m now washing down with a tea… Tetleys.
Starting to put the rest of the clothes shoes and bags I don’t use on eBay… to make me a few 100 £££s in total, which I will put towards a 43"+ plasma TV
Reading the news online.
Checking for new castings.
Reading my Facebook updates.
Trying to shake off this sniffle I caught last night, which my immune system lets happen on da regs due to the compromising position being celiac has put it in for now.
Posting on ILP, obviously…
Thinking about booze and bitches.
Hanging out with wife at starbucks and sipping a delicious green mint tea and thinking of Socrates.
Obe, get a bag of the sumatra beans. You can’t go wrong.
Thanks, Smears, just about wrapping it up. From here going home,have to put my turle inside, she has been out 3 nights unfed.
You got a turtle? Crazy. I had a goat when I was a kid. No lie. His name was billy. He climbed up and stomped the windshield out of my parent’s car, and they got rid of him.
Smears that’s very cool. Looked at your blog somewhere else, about your staying here and there. I have a very cool son in law and my daughter. And if you’re ever in LA let me know they will put you up. My wife is real uptight as a matter of fact I can’t figure her after 30 years. Anyway we have a 3 bedroom place you couldn’t move around in for brick of bracks, and spider colonies. Downstairs is ok, but its just a small cell with a futon… Lots of incense, and Buddha and genish idols everywhere. The turtle is a groove,and I am trying to make it communicate. So far no luck. My son in law and my daughter are pot heads, but they are cool, but nothing philosophical about them.
Right now my publisher called for the 3rd editing back and forth, plus cutting a lot of meaningful stuff out like I blame my daughter in law for messing my youngest son up, and she said that's libellous, and told her go ahead said there is 2 more levels of content clearance, after which finally it will go out, if there is anything left.
Now here I am sitting with my grand kids their dad my other son hasn't showed up yet. Watching my favourite show Bonanza.
Then my wife little dragon slammed my head with her cell phone while we were at mcdonalds, and now my migraine is back.
Told her I may leave the thousandth time, of course she doesent believe it, and I told her that of course not:::she knows were just bulls hitting, and knows I can take a whole lot of pain before I would do what my dad did so artlessly.
So let me know if you're in LA, and I
Man I get a good bit of weed sent to me from out there. A girl I just broke up with after 4.5 years moved directly there to live with her friend and her friend’s parents. I got another guy in some slummy part of town running a grow op, and I actually taught him to grow when he lived here several years ago. Back then he was poor and hopeless, and now he has a life.
I’ve never been to LA. But I drove to Palm Springs once. Cathedral City, 29 Palms, and that general area. Excellent place. I love the desert, but I also love the mountains, and the ocean, and the city. Now that I think about it, I guess that might be why I sacrifice to much for vacations. I just like to smell the air in different places, if that makes sense.
Right now my upcoming trip is up to 18 nights. If I don’t get creamed at the crap tables, I may add 2 more in Florida, and proceed up the coast of GA and SC to take pics of places I haven’t been. I dunno. It should be epic. I’ll post some stuff when I get back.
Now in December, I’m gonna go skiing, (for the first time), and the Taos Ski Valley. While this is in NM, near the CO border, it’s definitely within range of Vegas, and LA. If I can muster the resources, I would absolutely love to pass out in a Buddha filled basement with other potheads.
That would really be great. Honest. 'Later
Hi smears what are You up to? I am thinking about Michael Foucalt. Post structuralists in general. Trying to solve connections without relying to much on imagination.
I am going to see my daughter in law today, which I am dreading, and the only reason for seeing her is to see my granddaughter, who I love. But the woman is a lost cause, and her connivance and haughty attitude is a total turnoff, and she is guilty as hell about my son, and wants to unload.
I am trying to work up a concept for a short story for a piece I have been thinking about, a plan I have to return to the place of my birth,and working on at least some concept there, besides the obvious travelogue, and there is so much to say, but I am blocked.
I want to get high, but there is no telling where I will end up, and at the moment I feel so responsible for so many people, that loosing myself seems to be tatamount of absolving myself of responsibility for them.
But I know I will have to enhance my perception, and give myself breathing space, to return, even literally, not less figuratively. Plus I don't have the bread. What are You doing?
I got up this morning and went to the post office, and mailed a heap of cash to a guy across the country.
Then I went to my bank and put some in there.
Got some fast food, ran 2 errands downtown, and now I’m trying to figure out how to watch the Alabama v FAU game without paying for it. If it comes down to it, then I’ll pay the bar for beer and watch it there, as opposed to paying for it here, and still having to buy the beer.
In 43 minutes, a travel agent is going to call me, and I’m booking another cruise to hop onto the day after I get off the one I’m already booked on. So I’ll have 2 ships, for a total of 12 days at sea, stopping at 6 islands total. Not too shabby for a pseudophilosopher who is technically unemployed…I guess…it’s hard to say what my employment status is. I mean, my friend owns a ton of Domino’s pizzas, actually, 3 guys I know own a total of about 23 of them now. Last week, I got a call and didn’t have anything to do, so I went in and let some people go home, and closed the store for $150. But I might not go back for another week, and when I do, it’ll probably be another store somewhere else around here. It’s strange. By the time I heard the term, “off the grid”, I think I had been there for years. I wouldn’t know what to do with a real job paying taxes and all that. Tricky tricky. BUT…I literally get to live the life of a kid on summer vacation. I’ve just gotta figure out what’s gonna happen when I get old. I’m progressively getting better at making money without much risk, the problem is that at a certain point, spending it becomes a risk. I’ll need a house at some point, besides the ones I’ve been renting. And I’m afraid that I might have to pull some strange accounting to make it happen. Who would have thought that getting the money would be the easy part of buying something like a house or a car?
I dunno man…ranting…ranting…it’s vacation time.
Man…because my last post gave me a negative vibe…I’m gonna post the tentative itinerary for the vacation…which should give me a good vibe when I read it.
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Drive overnight to St Augustine to my friend Elizabeth’s house for the nights of the 3rd and 4th of October.
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Drive to Ft. Lauderdale and check into a hotel on the beach, stay the night of the 5th.
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Park my car at my gay friend Rodney’s house, and get him to drive me to Port Everglades to board the Carnival Freedom.
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8 days on the ship, stopping in Grand Turk, La Romana, Willemstad and Orangestad. Return to Ft. Lauderdale at 8am on Sunday the 14th.
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Call gay Rodney, get him to pick us up at the port and then I drop him off at his place and go back to the hotel on the beach in Ft. Lauderdale.
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Check out of hotel on the 15th at 11am. Drive to Miami and park the car.
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Board the Carnival Imagination at 4pm. 4 days on this cruise, going to Key West, then Cozumel.
8 ) Return to Miami. Stay the night in South Beach. Party all day, then drive to Orlando to my friend Stephanie’s house.
- Stay at Stefanie’s house 1 or 2 nights, then back to St Augustine to Elizabeth’s. (This could be reversed. If the casinos on the ships treat me fairly, I could extend the vacation to either Savannah/Myrtle Beach area…or I could go to New Orleans.)
I guess I don’t have a complete plan, because I don’t want to see it on paper that my vacation will end. I’m looking at enough produce here in front of me, that’ll be dry in the next 4 or 5 days…to keep me on vacation for a good while.
I really don’t have any responsibilities. No wife, no kids, no car note, I rent a house from a friend who’s cool with what I do, I have a roommate that pays his half and I can cover necessities for under $1000 a month. I could stay on this vacation for a long time. BUT…I probably wont. I need to go skiing. My roommate has never been to Europe, and I can almost never find people to travel with me when the distance gets to a certain point. So let’s hope I win lots of cash at the crap table, and then I can call and book more trips.
I dunno man. I tried to live like a normal person and the world wouldn’t cooperate. I really don’t have anything to do except sit here and stare at the wall, or get out and do something. There is no possible employer who will ever compensate me for my time at a rate that is even remotely comparable to what I can produce on my own.
It’s a crazy mixed up world.