turtle wrote:what kind of help do i need from god....
what would jesus say...
Now you have asked the right question.
Not that you are going to like the answer...
As someone already mentioned, you have merely to "repent". The problem of course, as always, is 3 fold;
1) you don't really know what it means to repent
2) you don't really believe that such is all that is necessary
3) you wont want to do what it requires of you
To repent (restore the pentacle/"highest priority" - get your shit straight) means that you very seriously want to change your ways. Generally it comes about, much like the alcoholic, by being so defeated in life that you give up everything else, all of your other concerns and priorities such that you are willing to go do things that you normally would be disinclined to do.. and without judging those things. You can't reestablish a pentacle priority if you are trying to maintain the high priority of anything else. You have to totally submit to the pentacle priority, else it obviously isn't pentacle/highest.
Asking to be forgiven means that you are requesting that your situation in life be altered. But your situation is not merely what you see around you, but also the very, very many things that you do not see yet affect you anyway. Other people can change those things of which you are not aware. When those things change, new doors open up, new hope arises. That is how people get into it. Forgiveness can come without people at times, but that is a bit like praying that your car be fixed, but without anyone doing anything to it. It can happen, but I wouldn't advise holding your breath.
Churches are established solely for the purpose of being able to provide the needed changes in people's lives that they could not do for themselves. After you exhaust all that you can do, what is left but what others could possibly do? But to get their help requires cooperation from you. Either you are trying to control and defend your life, or they are. It can't be both. The method of repentance is to let "them" take over. It is a type of intervention. Let them direct your life for a while until things are more reasonably controllable by you again. And then don't screw it up.. again.
Ordained churches have access to things that affect your life that just any ole church often doesn't have. To whom you pray and give your allegiance makes a difference. But don't think that you can go ask a preacher what powers he might have to help you. They don't know. That is simply how it works and how it is maintained. They never know themselves exactly how it works or to what extent. Often they are just as surprised as you. That leaves you with a bit of a problem. If not for that problem, everyone would already be going to the same Church. As Mutcer delights in pointing out, being invisible makes it hard to see the evidence.
So to what Church would you go when you can't ask of them and get a meaningful response? You have now mentioned Jesus (as opposed to Moses, Muhammad, or Einstein). So that narrows it down a bit, maybe only a few hundred. Of those which you can contact, to which would you surrender your life?
Now given that you made that choice.. and it has to be Your choice, they are going to ask that you do certain things. It is not like they portray in the movies.. "say 3 Hail Mary's and all is forgiven". No. Repentance means that you demonstrate (demon-stratify) your sincerity. What that entails will depend upon the choice you made. But if you try to qualify which Church to go to for such forgiveness based upon their repentance requirements, realize that you only get what you pay for until AFTER you are in grace again (assuming that you ever were). What they should be asking for, although I doubt they would ever say it, is the relinquishing of your very deepest concerns in life, your very soul. To repair it requires that you hand it over for a while, just like that car.
Not that it helps for me to say it, but it does work
.. as long as You do your share and you chose the right Church