My 1st Hand experience of Psychosis

septimus · September 30, 2011, 10:57pm

Photoshop but the magic is done with a tablet really

WW_III_ANGRY · October 3, 2011, 1:11pm

I’ve removed the excerpt from scribd as viewable by all for a couple reasons:

Its not indicative of the quality of writing that it is now, since I have revised it immensely.
I plan on selling the story.

Ierrellus · October 3, 2011, 3:34pm

I’ll buy a copy. Check with Nah who has an excellent sense of how to render concepts in diagrams.

WW_III_ANGRY · October 4, 2011, 5:16pm

Awesome I’ll let you know when its ready

WW_III_ANGRY · January 21, 2012, 3:55am

Septimus, I have decided to use your cover in my ebook. Let me know if you are ok with this. Thanks,

Ierrellus · January 21, 2012, 3:14pm

Eagerly anticipating your E-book. You have much to say that needs to be heard.

WW_III_ANGRY · January 21, 2012, 3:19pm

Thanks Irrellus, the book is done. I should say it is more strictly memoirs with analysis throughout. Most of what was posted here is still there, with some editing and I should say that is probably half of the book what you already read. Here is the link. I’d appreciate if you all can put any reviews on it and click “Like”!

amazon.com/gp/product/B006ZR … gpb1KMMBRW

You will need this if you want to read it on a PC I believe:

amazon.com/gp/feature.html/r … 1000426311

Pezerocles · January 22, 2012, 2:49am

WW_II_Angry, do you think you could post a link to the posts that are going to be refered to in the book?

WW_III_ANGRY · January 22, 2012, 4:09am

Hmm, I’m not sure what you mean exactly. This is mainly memoirs of my personal experience, most of which those posts would be in this thread.

Pezerocles · January 22, 2012, 9:10pm

Gotcha.

Pezerocles · January 22, 2012, 10:26pm

I just got done reading this whole thread, and I am a bit in shock. A lot of clarity by most people, but espacially the one who theoretically should have least (WW_III_Angry).

I am now really looking forward to the book, but with a kind of forboding, like when I pick up a Nietzsche book (though the comparison may seem absurd).

Or maybe I am just a little scared that I might identify with some of the things there.

Anyway, see you after the jump.

WW_III_ANGRY · January 24, 2012, 1:55pm

Wow thanks, but it is a very easy and quick read, I’ll guarantee you won’t want to stop and it is not as complicated as Neitzsche. In any case let me know if you can put up a review if you get it, I sure do need some, I have no reviews yet!

Ierrellus · January 30, 2012, 3:54pm

My memory is not too good nowadays and my computer suffers from the same senility. Did you give the title of your E-book and name of author? I wan’t to buy hard copy–something I can hold and peruse. Is that possible? I’m fascinated by what I’ve read and firmly believe that such books, first-hand experience, are needed. I think your work is marketable.

WW_III_ANGRY · February 3, 2012, 2:11am

The title is “Memoirs of madness”, by Christopher Markowski. It will be available in print one day, but that would probably not be for another 18 months to two years possibly, as I am considering my options before I sign the print to order paperback deal.

Here is the link for the e book.
amazon.com/dp/B006ZR34BE/ref=tsm_1_fb_lk

0belafekete0 · June 7, 2012, 6:11pm

simonsays:

I did not mean to make such an accusation. It’s just that I have met people who have had psychotic experiences and many don’t remember the details, specially what happened during the episode. Perhaps you gathered this info partly based on what doctors said, police/hospital records, family recollections, and checked it against your own memory of the event.
You do not have to tell me your diagnosis either and perhaps that was an intrusive question and I apologize. The only reason I asked that, is I glanced through the document and thought I may have missed it. Also, that some psychotic episodes are only drug related, while others (schizophrenia, bipolar) can occur on a regular basis and significantly influence the quality of life. I have read some of your posts and I find it difficult to imagine you were that same person who went through so much: you come across as very intelligent, and like you have your shit together better than most “healthy” people. Kudos to you!

. -----lets go back to “authority” . Splits come from the integration of authority whether it be parental or societal. Preoccupation with a toner for a philosopher is more than just a minor inconvenience. Its shows a break, (and there are breaks even in depressive episodes) the by now mute question that can be raised is -can philosophy transcend the cognitive-affective break? And as a consequence become a beacon to others, rather than becoming an Avatar?

0belafekete0 · June 7, 2012, 7:14pm

0belafekete0:

simonsays:

I did not mean to make such an accusation. It’s just that I have met people who have had psychotic experiences and many don’t remember the details, specially what happened during the episode. Perhaps you gathered this info partly based on what doctors said, police/hospital records, family recollections, and checked it against your own memory of the event.
You do not have to tell me your diagnosis either and perhaps that was an intrusive question and I apologize. The only reason I asked that, is I glanced through the document and thought I may have missed it. Also, that some psychotic episodes are only drug related, while others (schizophrenia, bipolar) can occur on a regular basis and significantly influence the quality of life. I have read some of your posts and I find it difficult to imagine you were that same person who went through so much: you come across as very intelligent, and like you have your shit together better than most “healthy” people. Kudos to you!

. -----lets go back to “authority” . Splits come from the integration of authority whether it be parental or societal. Preoccupation with a toner for a philosopher is more than just a minor inconvenience. Its shows a break, (and there are breaks even in depressive episodes) the by now mute question that can be raised is -can philosophy transcend the cognitive-affective break? And as a consequence become a beacon to others, rather than becoming an Avatar?

. I am in. Similar situation except my madness" is a generational one, and it has elements of the Jewish holocaust, never having americanized, lost privilege, all leading to split with what I used to (and still at times see) as a disprrivilaged situation. But depth psychology (jung) has helped, and now the suicide of my son and a posthumous debt to publish him (e publishing) has become a priority. But this new break for me, and I am using this in both the literal and figurative sense, is problematic, since I try not to see this seeming necessity to publish as an ego enhanced , and have nothing really ready, but something may eventually come of it.

WW_III_ANGRY · June 8, 2012, 5:19pm

0belafekete0:

simonsays:

I did not mean to make such an accusation. It’s just that I have met people who have had psychotic experiences and many don’t remember the details, specially what happened during the episode. Perhaps you gathered this info partly based on what doctors said, police/hospital records, family recollections, and checked it against your own memory of the event.
You do not have to tell me your diagnosis either and perhaps that was an intrusive question and I apologize. The only reason I asked that, is I glanced through the document and thought I may have missed it. Also, that some psychotic episodes are only drug related, while others (schizophrenia, bipolar) can occur on a regular basis and significantly influence the quality of life. I have read some of your posts and I find it difficult to imagine you were that same person who went through so much: you come across as very intelligent, and like you have your shit together better than most “healthy” people. Kudos to you!

. -----lets go back to “authority” . Splits come from the integration of authority whether it be parental or societal. Preoccupation with a toner for a philosopher is more than just a minor inconvenience. Its shows a break, (and there are breaks even in depressive episodes) the by now mute question that can be raised is -can philosophy transcend the cognitive-affective break? And as a consequence become a beacon to others, rather than becoming an Avatar?

Can philosophy transcend the cognitive affective “Break”? Well no not really, not to the extent that philosophy is based upon the situation humans are in… But do we really want to? In any case, people will not be able to overcome cognitive affective influence. Can philosophy help people rise above to a more objective perception? Of course…

WW_III_ANGRY · June 8, 2012, 5:20pm

0belafekete0:

0belafekete0:

simonsays:

I did not mean to make such an accusation. It’s just that I have met people who have had psychotic experiences and many don’t remember the details, specially what happened during the episode. Perhaps you gathered this info partly based on what doctors said, police/hospital records, family recollections, and checked it against your own memory of the event.
You do not have to tell me your diagnosis either and perhaps that was an intrusive question and I apologize. The only reason I asked that, is I glanced through the document and thought I may have missed it. Also, that some psychotic episodes are only drug related, while others (schizophrenia, bipolar) can occur on a regular basis and significantly influence the quality of life. I have read some of your posts and I find it difficult to imagine you were that same person who went through so much: you come across as very intelligent, and like you have your shit together better than most “healthy” people. Kudos to you!

. -----lets go back to “authority” . Splits come from the integration of authority whether it be parental or societal. Preoccupation with a toner for a philosopher is more than just a minor inconvenience. Its shows a break, (and there are breaks even in depressive episodes) the by now mute question that can be raised is -can philosophy transcend the cognitive-affective break? And as a consequence become a beacon to others, rather than becoming an Avatar?

. I am in. Similar situation except my madness" is a generational one, and it has elements of the Jewish holocaust, never having americanized, lost privilege, all leading to split with what I used to (and still at times see) as a disprrivilaged situation. But depth psychology (jung) has helped, and now the suicide of my son and a posthumous debt to publish him (e publishing) has become a priority. But this new break for me, and I am using this in both the literal and figurative sense, is problematic, since I try not to see this seeming necessity to publish as an ego enhanced , and have nothing really ready, but something may eventually come of it.

Write, and don’t let yourself hinder your words

precious007 · June 10, 2012, 2:55pm

Quite long, but I just bookmarked it.

So is it bipolar I or II, or schizophrenia?

Ichthus77 · June 10, 2012, 7:32pm

Read the sample. Were you drawn to Nietzsche before or after psychosis? Needs proof-reading. I do that.

I also went through something similar in 2005. Still have the fraction of it that I managed to write about, but reading it is embarrassing. I was such a deluded idiot long before my thoughts ran out of control. I agree that at the height of the episode(s), only someone totally in synch w the individual will ever bring them back. That isn’t to say that there is no other way back. Just that if they are private with their mental torments, no human can help. Helps to have good reasoning skills prior to the psychosis. Psychosis is one of those things there is just no way to prevent until you actually experience it. You have to know how to anticipate and put a stop to the chain-reaction of a cancerous misconnecting of dots. Like learning anything else–you aren’t born jumping rope, riding a bike, or telling your thoughts where to get off when they have begun running amok. Most people have a problem getting their thoughts going. Psychosis is quite an opposite problem.

But it is true that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

I’ve always been curious and need to research what happened to Nietzsche between the time he lost control and his death. Did it make him stronger before he died, or did he never make it back?