Application for Release

I would like to apply for Release.

Please delete all of my posts, including those made under Idiotic Idioms and please delete my account.

My philosophies are for nothing, my reason amounts to nothing, my poetic art is sheer shit and everything else I’ve ever talked about has just been so much dust in the foul winds that blow.

The trolls win. The haters win. The deprave, the fucked up, the greedy for more than just casual living. Just get rid of it all and me with it. Forget I was ever here.

Do you need some chap stick for your vagina? Don’t be such a cliche.

RF,

I understand your uneasiness but what you are asking is not the way out.

Perhaps, that may help you -

with love,
sanjay

Right. As if that applies to what I do and what I attempt to do.

Oh, you mean don’t fall down, don’t show where you break, where you can’t take anymore; just be like everyone else and hide the truth and be more of a cliche than they are, those who really need chapstick for their vaginas after I get through with them. No thanks.

What people would say of people like me is that we need to learn to bend, but we bend with the flow more than many others that expect us to bend to their way of things; to bend or to be broken. Yet, those others do not bend toward our way. I’m tired of doing all the bending, all the breaking; and these children are spoiled, are wrong and are very petty and vindictive for lack of understanding of themselves as well as others. They abuse psychology, abuse so many other aspects of humanity to do what they do, are vastly intelligent for being so stupid and while it hurts at times being the nail that sticks out and gets hammered for it, I don’t regret a single thing that I do.

The only reason why this request would or should be denied is due to simple policy held by the admins here that states that doing such is not a part of their accepted policy. They would not delete my posts nor my account because they don’t do that to anybody or for anybody.

That, and I have a sneaking suspicion that I’m liked more than people let on. But why should I hide how I feel and what I want? Why should I hide my humanity, my emotion, just to soothe others who can not be soothed? We all break, we all fall down whether we do it publicly or privately and the hiding of it, the lying about it to appear to be stronger than we actually are and the pretense of knowing what we’re doing while doing those things does breed a lot of what is wrong in society that I fight and through fighting, I make them show their weaknesses for anybody who can see them, which is why they hate me for it and call me hypocrite for being the same as them, which I do not try to hide and they further hate me for that because I’m going against what they want, what they’re comfortable with that destroys much of what I love about life.

So, thank you… but, I know what I’m doing. It’s hard as Hell and highly painful, to heart, soul, mind and body. But through this hard path that I walk, I become stronger for it than many others. I bear up under it better than so many others because I show my weaknesses as others see them and claim them not to be weaknesses, not to be an illness but a genuine reaction to so many things. A natural response. Where so many others try to be cool and strong, I actually succeed in those things by not even trying. Just by being true to myself and true to so many other things.

Yes.

Everyone has to realize his limitations. It is not possible to accomplish all that what one wants, even if that is required or good.

There will always be some things which will remain outside one’s limitations. It is wisdom to discern those from achievable ones, and go for later ones only.

Attempting immposible ones may be a courageous thing to do, but certainly not a wise one as failure is sure there. It would be more fruitful to use that courage in bearing those things which cannot be changed, instead of opting for quitting.

One can never know. What seems to be beyond reach today, may become achievable tomorrow. But, that could be achieved only if one remains in the game. Escape will not yield anything, now or ever.

With love,
Sanjay

Do they? I believe that while we have limitations, some limitations are purely momentary and can be pushed beyond on a different day. While accepting our limitations, how much are we being limited by our own COMPLETE acceptance of those limitations?

Obviously to some degree this is true. Why do you assume that I’m trying to do all of this myself? Is my work not inspiring others? Is it not sound enough and reasonable enough for others to work toward the same goals? Do they not do this in so many varying methods of art and culture and politics while seemingly going along with the faultiness of the system to undermine it every chance they get? At the same time as not over-estimating my own abilities, I also work to not underestimate them.

You claim it not to be wise and yet our history is riddled with people who made possible what so many others deemed impossible. What is impossible to one in the methods that they tried might be possible for someone else using the same methods due to the difference in personality, or through different methods due to personality or personalities of those they’re interacting with. Something that may have been impossible as envisioned may become possible by envisioning it differently, such as early attempts at man-flight through mimicking birds and attaching wings and feathers, which eventually lead to hang-gliding through long-term refinement at the same time as paving the way for such works as Leonardo Da Vinci’s first blueprinted model of an airplane to the Wright Brothers first attempts to our now commonplace aircraft that actually allow men and women to fly through the skies. Even quitting and walking away and giving up is healthy when you’ve hit a wall just the same as a retreat on a battlefield or in a war can be tactical or necessary through realization that you can not win an outright confrontation. Similarly, I realized I was falling and sought to distance myself and I was quite serious. If my posts had been deleted and my account along with, I wouldn’t have been hurt too much by it. I can start from scratch all over again without fear, it’s how I refine my processes. And, if I chose to change my decision at any time, I could have made a new account and done just that and let people know that it was me, because that is what I would do, and I would start from scratch without complaint using all that I learned before to do so. Much like starting a new game on a video game after completing it. You are going to be better at it than the first time you played it, just like playing your first RPG and sucking and your 100th, where you have the mechanics of RPG’s down fairly well, or playing a character class through on an MMO and deleting it at max level and starting again and learning more than you learned the first time because you have certain things down and can focus on others, or reading a book again that you thought you had learned from only to do the same and focus on different aspects and see different things, learn different things.

I think therefore I am therefore I act, therefore I am therefore I think therefore I act.

They don’t delete usernames or posts here, sorry.

RF,

My purpose is not to argue with you but just offering a simple advice that it is better to face or bear out trolls than leave.

And, i am doing this this for two simple reasons. The first reason is that irrespective of what your ideology is, and whether i agree with that or not, i see some good/honest intent in you. That is why i want you not to leave. Having said that, i have seen some of your posts in the past as iditicoms (if that was you) and disagree about a lot of issues there, but that is besides the point here.

And, the second reason is that, you have to face the trolls all the time as far as you are on the net. Means, leaving ILP because of trolls and joining any other forum is not a solution in your case, if that is what you are thinking.

You can also start all over again under new name but i do not think that would serve much purpose for you, for the simple reason that you can hide things from others, but not from yourself. Secondly, future cannot be changed without owning the past, thus, it does not make any difference whether you own your past publically or privately. You can still start afresh under the same identity. Having said that, starting under a new identity is still a better option than leaving.

Lastly, i am not asking to bend yourself for others. Stay upright as you are or want but fight for yourself.

with love,
sanjay

How would you know? You haven’t truly faced them or bore them. How the fuck would you know what it’s like to be me? You don’t and so your advice is pretentious bullshit.

You say your purpose isn’t to argue, but it is. You seek to put on me advice that goes against what I know better and against common sense and against rationality even though what you say takes the form of rationality.

And no, I don’t have to face them solely on the net. I face them in everyday life, I face them in the mind on a constant basis, almost every minute of every hour of every day. They come at me in legions to try to destroy me, break me, shut me up. They try to twist, misconstrue, drag out of context, corrupt my reasoning to suit what they do. And duh, I know that leaving here isn’t a solution to my case and I never said that it was. You don’t actually understand the situation, so who the fuck are you to try to give me advice?

You just speak drivel as if you understand anything at all. What the fuck do you know about being under fire, in the heat of the action of battle, a battle that at times seems unable to be won; an impossible one. What do you know of taking a stand for what you believe in or knowing that it is better to die for those things than to give in to them? Understand that I’m not trying to start fresh or from a clean slate. That wasn’t my intention for this at all. Even if all of my posts were deleted, even if I started under a new name, they would still know it was me, they would still have some base memory of all past things I had said or done that they were witness to or party or recipient to.

Every post you make only shows how little you understand, how little you know, how much you put improper perception and perspective to a situation instead of ascertaining the truth of what you say to the best of your abilities beforehand. Don’t try to compare me to anyone else you ever knew, I am not them and I am not you and my experiences have taken me so far beyond you and them that it is ridiculously beyond all of the equality that others want and dims out the equality that is actually there. You’ve never been in my shoes; you’ve never truly walked in them and your words grate in my eyes like salt on a wound because you simply do not know a damn thing that you talk about, in any of your posts that I have seen.

In that case, ignore whatever I said and do exactly what you want to do.

I take my words back. Consider this conservation as it never happened. Sorry for the interference.

With love,
Sanjay

It’s not a matter of what I want to do. What I want has been avidly denied me in my life. It’s a matter of doing what is important.

Okay. Then do what you think is important.

With love,
Sanjay

tldr

No. It wasn’t. In fact, was probably the best advice you are ever going to get (discounting that you aren’t going to listen to it).

There —^^, is the “pretentious bullshit” … actually presumptuous bullshit, but…

Someone who wasn’t one of your “trolls”.

Or perhaps to presume that others are vastly ignorant and inexperienced wasn’t accurate, thus you fight the horde foolishly and alone. You are hardly in a position to know the difference.

Is random factor “phred the phuckhead”?

I just noticed he’s doing that same arrogant, delusional thing where he cusses everyone out and thought to myself…this has to be the same guy.

James,

I advised him honestly and sincerely but he took it on its ego. That indicates that he is beyond repair, at least for now, thus it is useless to argue or advice him. That is why I took a step back.

Having said that, he is a young fellow with good intent, and with some skills too, but somehow wrongly concluded that he already knows a lot and no need to listen others, as use to happen to many young people.

Once a person gets in trap of HOW DARE YOU, nothing can help him. Though, he will realise his mistake one day for sure.

I still wish luck to him.

With love,
Sanjay

You think that you need to help me. How either of you can pretend to know more than me or how you can pretend that I even pretend to know more than you even though it becomes obvious that I know more than you in certain aspects, is to disregard your own ego, to fail in self-analysis and fail to see that the advice you give is pointless, the words you speak pointless, because you seek validation, to feel confident in your selves instead of filling in the gaps, seeing beyond. Your strengths are not what you know them as in this regard for your strengths you push forward a knowing of self in comparison to a self beyond you in the aspects that you present of such self.