This goes back to James' couple posts about discipline... I asked him, "why don't you discipline yourself to not hurt others or be hurt by them (if you're so self righteous)?"
He ignored me.
I think that it is possible that if someone IS self-righteous, there might not be any true humility there and ergo there might be a lot of hurt on both sides unless the other party has thick skin and can easily detach.
Self-righteousness is certainly not necessarily moral or ethical...it can have its basis in egotism.
Even if we follow the golden rule - do unto others as you would have them do unto you - that wouldn't necessarily work either because many of us think and feel and interpret the world differently.
For instance, some like it when they are confronted in an honest way - others do not - so how would the golden rule work there. It would call for discernment and finesse and seeing the other person as he is ALSO.
Is it possible to never hurt others and at the same time not to hurt or de-value one-self or one's own life?
That may call for compromise by a person who actually knows himself and who doesn't feel less of a person or defeated by another's treatment or estimation of him.
There are some times when feeling it necessary to give another "more" does not mean that the other person has more taken away from him.
We can "discipline" (teach) ourselves to try not to hurt others if it is humanly possible without sacrificing our own "real" needs IF we can do that but perhaps what you're asking is that people become sacrificial lambs to spare others hurt or that they become sacrificial lambs in order that the party of the first part may always gain what he feels he needs and desires.
That thinking is just wishful thinking and is not based in reality and honestly, insofar as the golden rule is concerned, that kind of thinking breaks the back of the golden rule - since there is no "we" - only an "I" there.
"He ignored me".
See how complicated it can be in knowing how not to hurt others?
Is it possible that what you took as being ignored by him was his way of not hurting you?
We all think differently and sometimes we "project" onto others.
I'm not saying that was the case but it might have been.
The golden rule cannot always apply. Nothing is black and white.