Hail Michael, Angel of Splendor

I’m not in the habit of going in search of old news.

Let me see if I understand this enough to put it into play:

I am hunting you, stalking you like a predator stalks its prey except my purpose is not to eat you nor to destroy you. I am one step behind you, constantly, except when I’m one step ahead, except when I’m many steps off. you can feel me, sense me, but know not where I am. I could say that I’m doing this just because of my dislike for crosses, whether fixed or not, due to some fear or distaste for the symbol that was my fall, but that would be a lie. I could say that I’m doing this out of hatred or love, but neither apply to you; I neither love you nor do I hate you. My reasoning engine is not dead, I just care not to use it. You could conjecture that I have come to hate reason, that it has driven me to unreasonability and insanity, but that’s not the case, I still use it for shits and giggles, laughs and srs bsns. I affect honor and nobility but at times have neither. I care not one whit about you. You hate me, hate my art for you do not understand it and what you do not understand you fear and what you fear you hate. But, in secret, you revere it and place it on a pedestal.

I could say that it’s because you use Zeus as your avatar and as a son that has surpassed its father; like Zeus did to Kronos, I must act in the way that I do because of the symbology and what presence you attract to yourself; but that, again, would not be the case. I could say that it is because you are you and I am me and that might be closer to it, but again, you would rely too much on reasoning for it and it is beyond reason, it is beyond your ability to define it or label it. I am your will’o’the wisp, the devil that plagues you, the death that stalks you, the chaos that consumes, the dark angel that presumes. And, I am none of those things. I am me.

Your love of reasoning, of philosophy, of logic and sense has fallen short of the mark, has fallen short of even .00000000000000000000000000000001% of what you pretend to conjecture. The presence you give off is mere falsity as you are positioned with your back to the abyss and pushed slowly but surely into it, fighting an enemy that you can not win against. This enemy is not me, but on the eve of your destruction, I am its aid and abettor. I could say it’s because your philosophies remind me of Plato’s and that I have a grudge against an old teacher, but that’s not the case. It’s not personal. If anything, it becomes impersonal, unless I refuse to make up my mind on the matter and toy with you a while longer.

All the while the lipless faces laugh with disjointed laughter all the while feeling every bit of the pain inflicted upon them and they have no choice in the matter. All the while the multitude of faces hewn from stone craft the chaos in cackling voices spitting random words and phrases at varying levels and pitches, all the while all the reasoners reason and the philosophers Philosophize, all the while as the killers kill and pacifists try to pacify, as the warriors fight and the cowards flee only to ambush their enemies on some moonless night, all the while as those who seek peace find it, as those who seek what they seek find what they seek and are either satisfied or left hollow and empty on the inside, perfect vessels for manipulation by some entity or another.

Would that you could see the beauty of the dance macabre, the art of ‘evil’ of satan, if only you could understand, but the understanding would not soothe or suit your tastes, would not comfort you, would not save you. Its not even sentiment on my part that makes me speak those words of ‘if only you could understand’, it is merely a turn of phrase, said for the sake of the moment because I care not if you do or not, if you could or not. I care not to push you either way, my priority and my reasoning is my own and you will never understand why I spoke these words to you today. You will never understand the slow decay of the mind that follows or the long-term process of it. You will go about this day and the rest of your days thinking very little about it while, like a cancer, it will grow within and rot you slowly but surely.

And, I hate crosses. I dislike Zeus as a pedophile, an incestual asshole, a beast-fucker, a drunk and a horrible bastard that Kronos would have been fully in the right to destroy upon birth if he could have managed it, though his fear robbed his wits and spurred him to action too quick. And, I do have a grudge against Plato for his philosophies that he prattled endlessly about as if they were the be-all-end-all of the world and would solve every problem that could ever be designed by man. But you are not Plato, you are not Zeus and you had no hand in constructing any of the crosses that I have grown to hate. I just don’t like you.

I noticed.
You’re just pretentious enough to ignore that in envy of what you perceive(d) as my power.

Chaos with an entitlement complex.

Except that I don’t dislike you. I just don’t like you.

Shit, I’m bored already. I’m out of here.

Yeah, I was being a little lame. Too much talking.

Well, the threat has been noted.

It seems that you think that because I dont represent it, I have not seen or been the disjointed laughter of pain.
Neither of you would understand Apollo.

Because, neither of you have experienced sex and death so intimately as to become aware of the desire for Apollo to exist.

Go down, little kittens. Spend your lives scurrying deeper into the hole.

What threat? Did you not note that I was making an example of the philosophy that I spoke of? Did you not understand that that was the explanation of it? Do you think me lost to such sentiments that I can not dip into them for a moment and then revive myself in spirit? I really wonder…

As you know, the easier life gets in some aspects, the harder it gets in others. Thank you for being you, otherwise the conversation wouldn’t have taken these turns. A lot of others would not have been able to handle it.

To attain simplicity, a cruel device is interjected; value philosophy puts the organism to the test; can the instincts endure a pure thought? Are they coherent enough?

Nihilism can only be overcome as a feast of intoxication. Moving beyond it involves a serious hangover.

I have not yet invented the philosophical Bloody Mary.

We are nothing more than paradoxes. At the same time simple, we are vastly complex and at the moment of entertaining complexity in various strains, we find simplicity all over again. Are instincts what we think they are, or are they more? I believe that they are more than we have come to think of them as, that they are indeed, in each moment or instant of instinct acted, a cacophony of sound, vision, chaos, etcetera with a vast variety of reasoning and conjecture behind them, compressed into those singular moments in which we act with one strain of agreed upon action, regardless of the reasoning, rising to the top for that given moment and all reasoning lays after as we try to ascertain why we acted the way we did; the thinking after in all its varied forms becoming the cacophony that is then sent back to that moment and not just our thinking, but the thinking and reasoning of so many things beyond, aside from, and alongside our own selves. What we think of instinct is nothing more than a pocket eternity all of its own, a momentary hiccup of time transcendence and when no clear course of action is necessary or called upon, can become muddied, confusing, foggy. It can become so to the point where ‘instinct’ is lost and can not break through and thus we can not act in any conducive matter while such civil unrest exists within us.

The only way I’ve seen to overcome so many things that bring us down is to add more to the pile. When we’re left without knowing what to do, we’re underwhelmed and uncertain until more is piled on. All the same, when too much is piled on, we become overwhelmed to which the answer is the same: pile more on. The more we try to take away from something, to ease it back, the more it piles on anyway until the only way out is to continue on the best we can and hope we remain intact again on the other side when it rights itself and subsides. Culture shocked from the very moment of our conception to the very moment of our deaths and beyond. We are both living and dead in every single moment of our existences and are dead and living both in every moment of our afterlives. There becomes moments where we rise above this culture shock to think we understand it all, that we’ve conquered, but it’s momentary. There is still more to learn, and those who rest too long in one accomplishment or another, to think that they’ve learned enough or come to think that they know all there is to know, they become lost and stagnant, refusing to change, refusing to learn more and become set in their ways.

Take for example the nuances of the english language and how it’s spoken and just what is meant in any given moment by any given individual. Are we hearing them correctly? Are we reading it correctly? Do they understand themselves and what they mean to correct us properly if we interpret it incorrectly? Do they understand enough of the nuances of the language and the different meanings to know that they’re speaking correctly? When the lilt of their speech holds vast meaning when the different interpretations of a singular word can be lost upon those who only know a singular meaning of it… I’m still learning and growing. But, I consider myself to know enough of the most important things in life and death to be able to continue learning and growing the other things that are still important, just as important as the ties that bind because they are also ties that bind and weave it all together. We might never know all that there is to know and a lot of it becomes about privacy and courtesy, but we can know enough of where the patterns and cycles break down, how they shift on to another cycle and pattern until we begin to recognize, at the least, the cycles and patterns of patterns and cycles enough to be able to break them down to individual components and view the similarities and differences of them to be able to apply such learning to other cycles and patterns. We can learn to appropriate will power from one aspect of life to another to make it an easier transition. We can question even all that we think we know and consider that some times all we can do is wait and be patient until we are able to learn more as other things are still learning.

I am glad that this thread is named appropriately for my interaction with it. Tis fitting.

You’re not a nihilist then.

Some times I’d really like to destroy everything, but then the mood passes and I really just want things to start working properly again, to have people get along. I’ve worked too hard to let momentary set-backs effect completely all that I aim for.

I do not consider destruction to be nihilistic; rather, apathy, and talk about destruction like Anarchic teens -
The Shivaic impulse is to destroy everything so as to shape it anew in the image/pattern of ones own dance.

Once over; ‘self-valuing’.

It’s usually in the moments when you can’t remember right away any good part of life.

Hey Random Factor,
I remember a summer not long ago when all the trees in a certain part of town were covered in those webs.
Not hard to mistake for an apocalyptic omen.

Whats up with that? Are you in need of new gods or foods?

Fixed, Death isn’t an easy escape. There is a 90% chance you just rebirth into a new body on Earth.

Even your 'pudding?