Encounter With God's Will Today

I went to the gym, made a post in the off topics section right before I left, had to be back at the house 7:30… was getting picked up. I was late, which is unusual, was arriving exactly at 7:30 and saw my landlady returned early… and she was getting out of the car… she was taller and walking faster than usual… walk from the side of the house to the front, definitely wasn’t her.

So I follow her to the front porch, loud knocking, yelling her name. That door doesn’t open for nothing, I goota take if off the hinges soon to figure out why, just stopped opening a month ago.

So I yell out “Can I help you?”.

This guy is hooded, dark… can only make out he is white. He said yeah, came to get some money, was broke and she occasionally gives him some. He needed five. I said I had a few bucks, not exactly $5, it was $4 and change.

He yelled out my name startled… which caused me to inspect his face a bit closer… I try not to get too personal with the people asking for charity… was a bully I had back in middle school. Every guy except me and one other kid (he went to private school) was systematically arrested in my neighborhood when Bill Clinton attacked the Steel Mills… they shut down, everyone turned to drugs, kids in 4-5th grade doing heroine. Police locked anyone up they could… and admittedly they were usually given good reason… these kids turned truely evil, cutting eyes out, beating old men for no reason. So when I’m recognized by someone my own age, who is male in my neighborhood, I am sure the fuck not happy to see them. My single advantage is, I’m a Combat Infantry Veteran, and government was nice enough to teach me how to hurt them… none of them went in due to criminal records.

I looked at him, noticed I towered over him, and wrote him off as harmless. Gave him the last bit io change, I recalled his name, Eric… he affirmed it. Sent him on his way cause I still didn’t like how he was creeping about the car.

So I saw no issues with the car, entered the house… she wasn’t there… I calked her, she was with a friend. I told my landlady she had a creepy guy lurking around her car. Caps had just raided the house behind us a few days ago, and three houses down from us in another direction… I’m not too thrilled with my neighborhood right now, but these are mostly out of state people, living out in deeply Democratic areas where people shoot one another daily… they come out here to sell their drugs, then scaddadle back to Chicago. Sometimes they will set up a math lab, but it’s usually the locals who do that stupidity… usually, but not always.

She gets back a half hour late, looks in the car, says her wallet got stolen. I said I told her not to leave it in there. She said it was empty, just expired cards in the glove department… nothing else stolen… wallet was a hand me down gift from a friend, not worth anything… she thought she licked her card, but didn’t apparently.

So we decided not to file a police report, just called the cops. We live very close to the Ohio Border, so I brought her over to eat, I was paying… we calked the police, just wanted to give the name… I could only remember Eric… nothing else, was Googling all over the net for his pic. Nothing… cops refused to accept any info unless we came in (In don’t know why)… I work 11 to 8, so can’t just leave, or wanted the cops showing up, so we went at 10:20 at night to the police department… they don’t have a receptionist anymore, so you gotta make a call on a line outside… two girls walked up, ahead of me… talking on the phone. Someone stole their prescription medicine for their daughter… I phased them out, cause it’s not my business.

Then they got off, and we said we would just wait, tell the cops after her. I said I only heard the beginning… did she have Ger stuff stolen out of her car too? We know who he likely was if that was the case. No… they said it was from their house, and knew exactly who it was… the name was my younger brother!

This kicked me hard in the gut. My second younger brother and sister both became Heroine Addicts after I left out west. It was during the transition from Blue to Red State… drugs was still readily available on the streets, the public officials took the wrong approach to crime, politicians were seedy, more concerned about unions than people. They got caught up in the tail-end of it, so did a few hundred others their age, in.a small town. We didn’t have a direction or future then.

He passed his jail sentence, was put in rehabilitation and got a trade, but wasn’t allowed to work in it after he got out due to his record… laying fiber optic cables. Worked as a maintence guy… was putting on weight again (not fat, just not deathly skinny). I had assumed recidivism was a high possibility, and told him outright I assumed one statistically, if not both, would die from a relapse. He said it wasn’t going to be him… I hoped it wasn’t.

Well… fastforeward back to tonight, my landlady is going on and on about a wallet with nothing of value in it, I get a aching desire to go find him before 11, and physically hurt him. Break his arms so he can’t steal drugs anymore. I keep nudging her once they recognize who he is to go… I really wants go… really, really wanna go.

So we race up to his house… I recalled the drugs she said he stole, 54 out of a 60 pact, was ADHD drugs… he had ADHD as a child (little bit as a adult)… I remember he was on ridalline and adderol (more than likely misspelled them) as a kid on and off.

I start knocking on the door, they know me from when I visit my nephew… my old step dad and his fiance, her 16 year old daughter… said most politely I need to see my brother Ricky… just found out about something he was involved in from a visit to the police department moments before.

Well… turns out they had just 20 minutes earlier had the visit by the girl, screaming for him, knowing he stole their daughters medicine. He was kicked out of the house, already had his parole revoked, was due back into jail in a week. They said his face was changing… I didn’t ask for specifics, implied he was back on drugs… so came to the conclusion I wouldn’t break his fucking arms off in front of them. He wasn’t there.

I told them what I knew, and left.

We got back to the house, Eric was nice enough to drop the wallet back off at the Backdoor. Apparently my good Christian donation inspired him to return a useless wallet.

So what came of this? I discovered in real time almost, my brother, who I only talk to rarely, transformed back into a drug using werewolf, and is on the lam… as we speak likely running naked in the woods or some distant farm… because I spotted someone else completely unrelated to my brother steal from us… and had the bad fucking luck to hear the police report… at the same time we were giving info. From my charity, the guy was shamed into returning the wallet… but from my charity, I found out my brother has a very high possibility of arrest, homelessness (he is not like me, homelessness can destroy him), and is running around like a werewolf… tonight, and I gotta stay up all night to boot, can’t hunt his ass down, stuck her doing my job.

So… I’m told nothing is a coincidence by priests. I want to say this to God, and his mellow dramatic approach to doing this shit, Fuck You!

Honestly… did you have to give me these little mazes and riddles, and 180° turn of events. Within two hours it went from my land lady tearing up and me consoling her, to everything working out on her end, and my life being flipped upside down. Honestly… Fuck you for that news flash. I didn’t need to know how it went down as they filed the police report. Fucking Bullshit Dude.

Strangest part is, he has ADHD… crack head, stole a bunch of Adderol. I looked it up, it has amphetamine in it… but like, it’s used to calm guys down… help them concentrate… but also gives people a high.

So… is he snorting this shit in some hovel getting high? Or is he snorting this shit and sobering up, unable to get high cause it’s mellowing him out? He took enough to kill him. You take that many of anything save sugar pills, it will send you into seizures.

My fucking Brother. Very fucking funny God… absolutely improbable I could find out this way, great way to reinstall faith, but honestly, go fuck yourself if this is how you choose to send your signs. Not funny at all, not a miracle. He is going to jail, if not dying from this. I do your work, and you trade me back like this.

Still, let’s try and put it in perspective:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Starvatio … statistics

When it comes to “God’s will”, things become very, very strange indeed.

the Chinese characters for the word crisis are 危机

the Chinese characters for the word opportunity are 机会

Note the Chinese character 机 is in both words … the second character in the word ‘crisis’ and the first character in the word ‘opportunity’

Apparently the Chinese believe ‘crisis’ and ‘opportunity’ are a matched pair … siamese twins so to speak … can’t have one without the other.

Sadly, most people when faced with a crisis focus mostly on the pain/discomfort associated with the crisis … leaving little or no energy to look for the opportunity.

The Western adage is “don’t waste a good crisis”

God clearly cares about the chosen only. For everybody else there is only damnation.

Loving god indeed if such a being exists…[Which I of course as always highly doubt it.]

Classic slave mentality.

How insightful! … never looked at it that way before … a crisis as a blessing … an opportunity for us to break the shackles/chains that enslave us … some forms of slavery being quite subtle.

Wouldn’t want to waste a good crisis
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVHhiefjrHg[/youtube]

But, I would of course wouldnt mind wasting a couple of inhuman communist chinese peteating fascists along the way.

So what, I’m supposed to find the opportunity in my brother having a recurring drug addiction that might kill him, with him in jail again… do what, take his cellphone?

Fuck

God hates you, Turd.

Though he is still a fag for punishing your brother instead of you.

I believe in the synchronicity of crisis/opportunity … based on personal experiences. The personal experience you shared is peppered with synchronicity, involving several individuals. Seems logical that opportunity(s) may arise for any or all of the people involved. The spiritual energy of all the participants coalesced at least for the duration of the crisis.

Like all faith issues, the sequence and timing of events/outcomes are neither scientific nor mathematical … the word faith here being defined as “without knowing”.

Sometimes, realization of the opportunity(s) requires an open mind … open heart … no investment in any particular outcome … along with patience and humility. Wu Wei likely applies as well.

IMO … at the time the crisis is recognized/experienced … the opportunity is still a ‘seed’ … usually some time is required for the seed to germinate and grow. The coexistence of the crisis/opportunity can only be recognized in hindsight. Coexistence meaning the opportunity would not have materialized without the crisis.

I read the other day that a crisis is often a ‘marker’ … introducing some form of personal transition/transformation. For example, I understand crisis is often a trigger leading to alcoholism … and likewise crisis is often a trigger for recovery from alcoholism.

He had failed 15 out of 68 drug tests, for a wide variety of drugs. Judge only gave him two months. I’m cutting off contact.

I’ve gone for a very, very, very long walk, and worked out a important aspect of building my UV Camera for detecting Meth. I found out a younger sister I never met, who I thought was seven or eight, is a teenager calling in bomb threats, has a national security file.

I can’t begin to tell you how much I hate my mother. She inherited my family’s intelligence, but uses it for up most evil. Turned another of my brothers into a tranny, two into crackheads, used to date men only if they assaulted me. Kept fucking and having babies long after most women go sterile. I’m the oldest, I don’t even know half the shit she has done. She ran away from home when I was a teenager, only took half the kids.

She is absolutely crazy, yet is aware of it, and does everything she can to manipulate the law and society, and is quite successful.

I gotta take care of the drug issue soon. Some crack head crashed into a car across the street here, and got into a fist fight… I called the cops, for a change they followed my advice to the letter on cordoning him off… turns out he hit some little boy further down the block.

People just randomly die here. Everyone for no fucking reason. Once I get the rest of my equipment in here soon to start my business I can start buying parts to build a real time drug scanner, and very quickly map out all the drug labs here, push them out of town, then region and state very fast. My little brother and sister will likely be swept up in that storm… but several people a week are dying here of the shit. I just want this shit to be finished with already.

Probably gonna think I sound like a dick here but man, you have to educate yourself on drugs. Adderal is 4 kinds of amphetamines in 1 pill. Might as well be meth…a chemist can tell the difference, but not your brain. This is what the pharmaceutical companies want to give to kids for ADD. It’s not cooked up by a dirty druggy and sold to children on the playground. Pharmaceutical companies make it, doctors write the scripts, and them parents pick it up for their children at the local walgreens from a nice guy in a white outfit who has a degree on the wall. Your anger is misdirected. Same story with the heroin. Heroin was hard to find in most places in the US until you guys went to Afghanistan and got rid of the Taliban. The Taliban hated the poppy farmers and didn’t like the heroin production. People here got addicted to oxycontin, which again, is made by the rich, and sold to the poor through a system that’s claiming to help them. But what they all know really happens is that people throw it in a spoon and shoot it up. So then they added something to it where people can’t shoot it up anymore because it turns to a gel when you heat it, and now all those hoards of addicts are buying that Afghani heroin to satisfy their addiction. It’s not the dirty druggy down the street who drinks and smokes. It’s the US military in conjunction with the pharma companies working together to create this market and then fill it in a way which allows them to profit. You should stop blaming the victims and think about who’s actually responsible for all this. These drugs are terribly addictive, and as you seem to be able to see, they can seriously damage a person’s life, hell, a family or a group of friends, or maybe a whole community. Making them available to people does so, so much harm because people literally become hopelessly addicted. The people who make them available know this, and do it anyway, and the harm they cause is something that for whatever reason you don’t seem to want to blame them for. I had an attorney once tell me not to smoke weed for a month or 2, and I talked to her a few weeks later and said, “you know, I didn’t realize how bad 2 pinched nerves really felt until I try and sleep without smoking a little weed”. She said, “don’t smoke. if you’re in pain, go to the pain clinic.” I said no thanks because I didn’t want to be handed a handful of synthetic heroin to ruin my life just so that I could get to sleep. So for a month or so I slept no more than 2 or 3 hours a night. They want you on this stuff bad man. A hit of weed can kill your pain, and it’s not addictive. But the only painkillers that you can legally have either don’t work at all, (asprin, acetaminophen, ibuprofen), or are addictive and will enslave you and ruin your life, (hydrocodone, methadone, oxycodone, hydromorphone, morphine). So do you break the law and hit a bowl of weed? Or do you string yourself out on real drugs because your back hurts and remain legal? You’re looking at this stuff all wrong.

Another thing…what’s all this, “I’m gonna break his arms” talk? How far away from the kind of way that you need to treat people for this to be your instinct? Unless you meant that as some kind of figure of speech, but I don’t think you did. You seem to have a little bit of an anger problem, and you’ve got an authority problem. Not like you have a problem with authority…oh no, you can totally march in step with the government and their line on how all this drug stuff works…your problem is that you feel as though you need to BE the authority in the things with which you involve yourself. If you care about your brother, just acting like another dick head cop who can’t help him but wants to break his arms probably isn’t going to get you where you want to be with him.

Turd wrote:

How would they know…… anything

How many times has it been said Christianity is a crutch.

In reality it is a fire of affliction, it is painful, why, because you have to change.

Nevertheless it is logical to keep the commandments of God, then you will have some semblance of peace.

If a person creates pain, the problem lies with them.

Priests know a lot because they tend to be excellently educated, and have a few thousand years of patriastic experience in handling Questions and Answers.

This isn’t just a rule for Christianity, but any long lasting priesthood.

As to God being a crutch, who at times can stand more alone and yet resolute than a Christian?

Stupidity, Nationalism, and Angst is your crutch, you need it to feel superior. I can ask what your compensating for, but some shit is better left unknown. I compensate for the pain and destruction I see around me, it helps make me a better philosopher. In your case Shieldmsiden, your continuously full of shit, without rhyme, reason, or serious motivation. Only reason to explain a under performing INTJ… a lack of necessity produces moribund laziness in thinking.

I wonder what would happen if you actually ever were stretched to your emotional limits and wits? Watch the world get torn down around you. Would something in you stir? Or would you continue to die the death you have been experiencing every day of your pointless existence?

Have you ever done something for your community? I don’t mean playing compassion… handing out meals or killing kittens… anyone can do this. I mean putting your cognitive skillset to unique use? Have you ever stuck your neck out on something seemingly impossible and absurd by every measure, because you know you can? Have you gone out of your way to find solutions to impossible problems written off by the world, unable to be fixed? Have you ever given it your all to save someone’s life, who would of otherwise died without you, and try to understand what lead to it nearly happening, how to stop it from happening again.

God is not a crutch in such circumstance, and I am not lesser for him. He can be a real fucking douche at times, but is fully compatible with the philosophical mindset. What isn’t compatible is belittling cliches encouraging the small soul to grow weaker and narrow hearted, to look not beyond inherited expectations and the easy outlook of the majority. God isn’t seen in the common sense of a pub laugh, or snobbish undertakings of wealthy ease. Its known through the hard work of selfless labors, of a timid soul searching through the murky depths of the soul, of the eyes straining to see beyond the horizons, of the body exhausted and quivering, in the sunset of a unwasted day. God gave you great gifts, and you never developed your potential. You can be someone truly magnificent, and yet you come off as pathetic, slow in mind, and pale in emotion. Its not a life worth living. I couldn’t accept it. I can’t believe you do.

Obviously you misunderstood my post, but I am not really interested in your Jack of all trades and master of none attempts at playing d’esprit docteur, what you think of me has no relevance to this subject.

Nevertheless, I am keen to point out to you, (albeit a useless exercise) some of the misconceptions you have about the Roman Catholic religion.

Firstly, the Roman Catholic religion is a pagan religion and does not teach the word of God.

Secondly, the Catholic version of the Ten Commandments is missing the 2nd commandment about not making graven images; and they split the 10th commandment into two.

The Bible states that God proclaims that salvation is only through Jesus, not through Mary or not through the Pope.

Pope Pius XI said, “What will it cost you, oh Mary, to hear our prayer? What will it cost you to save us? Has not Jesus placed in your hands all the treasures of His grace and mercy? You sit crowned Queen at the right hand of your son: your dominion reaches as far as the heavens and to you are subject the earth and all creatures dwelling thereon. Your dominion reaches even down into the abyss of hell, and you alone, oh Mary, save us from the hands of Satan.”

The Roman Catholic Church declared, “If anyone says that the sinner is justified by faith alone, meaning that nothing else is required to cooperate in order to obtain the grace of justification, and that it is not in any way necessary that he be prepared and disposed by the action of his own will, let him be anathema (damned to hell).”

The Bible says “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9

Pope John Paul II said, “Don’t go to God for forgiveness of sins: come to me.”

The Bible says, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” John 14:6

J. A. Wylie who was a Scottish historian of religion and Presbyterian minister, said this: It is idle in Rome to say, “I gave you the Bible, and therefore you must believe in me before you can believe in it.” The facts…conclusively dispose of this claim. Rome did not give us the Bible—she did all in her power to keep it from us; she retained it under the seal of a dead language; and when others broke that seal, and threw open its pages to all, she stood over the book, and unsheathing her fiery sword, would permit none to read the message of life, save at the peril of eternal anathema."

Simply put, anyone who does not believe the Scriptures is not a Christian, yet many deny it in very philosophical words.