the truth about gender and the question of testosterone

I was playing soul calibre today (Magnus’s game.) I had an epiphany about gender. While I was customizing my character I realized my breasts were too big, I wanted to be a medium lesbian. I dont want to be a butch manly lesbian, and I’m not comfortable as a man, but I’m not comfortable with giant boobs and being sexualized by men. Thus I am a medium lesbian, I want small boobs bigger than an A but no larger than a C. I want girly clothes but nothing excessively revealing.

Thus I had an ephiphany about gender. Gender has nothing to do with genitals or chromosomes. I discovered this when I started thinking about making my own fighting game, like soul calibre IV. I thought about how I would program the character modifiers. I was going to have a gender bending function and the simplest was to simply add more fat around the hips and boobs. Thus gender is determined by boob size and hip size, primarily. The other determinator is brow bossing, the larger the brow bossing the more masculine it looks.

And thus I started thinking about gender and testosterone. I think high testestorone females are more sexually attractive. Steroids are not the same as testosterone, I’m not that attracted to steroid manly women, but I’m mostly attracted to fighting women, Xena and such. Females in society should be more wild and have slight brow bossing. I think all of the problems you complain about society is because we don’t have any real strong women, all the women are bred to be fragile, so excessive rules are made to protect these fragile women, such as if you make a joke that is politically incorrect, you get fired and banned. This is not a society of strong women, but mental midgets who can’t take a joke without collapsing in despair.

But also, one of my views may be questioned, because I think testosterone increases breast size. This is a revolutionary hypothesis and I don’t know if it is true, but I think it may be. This is because, my old karate teacher had giant boobs, but was savage in combat and punched metal with her bare hands everyday. Of all the people in the room I could choose to fight she was one of the ones I feared most. This busts the myth that female’s can’t fight.

There is a second myth, brought to me by Aeon, that I have proven wrong after being presented experimental anecdotal evidence. His myth is that women are attracted to high testosterone males, yet I have noticed that women are attracted to me when my testosterone is at the lowest of lows. Testosterone directly interferes with males attempt to be smooth, cool, and sauve. It is a heatening drug, directly the opposite of the temperature. You see the problem with it, is that testosterone gets rid of the “closeted heterosexuality” of males, women do not like when males are too openly heterosexual. In fact some of them do not like it when males are open about anything really. In a later paragraph I will explain why women are attracted to football players, it has more to do with their will to power, the fact that these kinds of males are typically fun and entertaining, and not their actual testosterone levels. Secondarily women are thirsty for smooth muscles, and while it is true that testosterone boosts muscles, many of the other things it does has some detrimental effects towards attraction. Women on average like a six pack of abs but not bulging veins. But this, is indeed a tangent, so back to my original hypothesis.

My hypothesis is that masculine physical features are not caused primarily by testosterone, but actually genetic code, and that masculine physical features are caused by DNA primarily. I have evidence for this because when I work out and boost my testosterone I actually look more feminine. But the main evidence is that I know some transsexuals. These transsexuals I know some of them took estrogen at an early age before adulthood. And yet they have masculine features and brow bossing. Also I know some who have deep voices and lack facial feminization, yet have very feminine breasts. This means that testosterone is not the primary cause of physically masculine features, or at least, not the way we anticipated. I think the reason people blame testosterone is due to a fallacy, they see estrogen has feminizing features, so they assume the opposite. This fallacy is further encouraged by the fact that Female to Male transsexuals take testosterone and turn masculine. However I think that the masculinizing effect of testosterone is over-exaggerated. You see testerone is not administered to males 24/7, testesterone only occurs when you win at a game, estrogen occurs when you lose. Males get a mix of estrogen and testosterone every day. And females can be as competitive and violent as men, and yet they don’t suddenly turn into looking the same as men. In order for a female to look like a man they have to start smoking crack, do steroids, or take testosterone 24/7. Crack makes women ugly, and masculinity is a form of ugliness.

I realized that that is what gender is, and the gender roles are not opposite but different, kind of like a rogue and a mage. Rogues are not the opposite of mages, just different. Second, the will to power is not actually masculine, it is feminine. The reason men on average crave power more than women is clear: women inherently have sexual power given to them by being born. Men, fueled by their lack of power, denied what was given to others at an early age, obsess about power the rest of their lives. It’s like how if a kid is not allowed to eat candy at a young age, they will obsess about candy until they reach adulthood. For females they inherently have value and power, all they have to do is not be morbidly obese. Even if they are ugly they are still sexually more powerful than even a handsome male. Women naturally wear revealing clothing and stand in sexualized female poses. While playing soul calibre I also realized that Joker in batman stands in typically female poses. And this is related to the male obsession with power.

Thus begins the phenomenon of the “closeted heterosexual”. James Bond is an example of a closeted heterosexual. On the surface he appears stoic and emotionless, and he is in the closet about his heterosexuality. When around women he resorts to quiet inuendo because he must appear to not be too obvious about his (hetero)sexuality. But deep down he is obsessed with women and crazy about them. Women deep down want men to acknoledge men have no sexual power, and that women have all the sexual power. Males with extreme will to powers are usually transsexuals, because they are frustrated with the lopsided states of affairs. The life of being James Bond does not appeal to them, because logically, that is a man who always puts himself in danger in service of country in order to get favors from women. Why put yourself in danger to serve those who were born with power over you? Male to Female transsexuals want inherent value, and not have to put their life on the line to be valued. Female to male transsexuals are the opposite, and typically want to earn their value, and are also frustrated by being inherently valued by men, most female to male transexuals are not attracted to men and thus want to escape being valued by them.

Thus the attraction to women stems from inherent desire and inherent value, what you see is what you get. The attraction to men stems from women’s lust for power over men. Women want power over powerful men. If a male is not currently powerful he should at least have the will to power or a lust for power. But even more important than power, for attraction, is entertainment value. When a woman gets bored with a man that is when it all falls apart. Intellectual women do not want to be with boring simpletons, and simpleton women do not want to be with intellectuals who they cannot connect with. In this day and age, many attractive women are attracted to simpletons because they themselves are simpletons themselves, they are not full bodied women. These kind of women have sexually attractive bodies, but generally lack an attractive spirit or character. When you kiss one of these kind of simpleton women you will not feel any special kind of magic. Simpleton women are defined as women are lacking in both feminine and masculine spiritual attributes.

And this goes to my next point, gender is a physical attribute and not a fully mental one. I think many gendered behavoirs are the result of social conditioning, and that humans are largely mentally gender fluctuant. That if the king falls, a woman will quickly turn into a knight, and that if a man is not forced into a military role, he will be content with luxury. I don’t think is a such thing as a full or fully static mental gender. Body dysphmorphia and transsexualism is caused by several factors. The self-identification part of the brain may be hating the body image. Or it could be, the transsexual has a simply higher awareness, and doesn’t wish to accept their male role, aesthetically and in terms of roles and odds. Or it could be, the brain is very emotional, sensual, and sensitive, and if they have components of factors 1 and 2, this would amplify both factors of 1 and 2. The human brain is very complex and it is a mix of components and parts. When someone experiences discomfort at their own body image, that is their body-recognization part of their mind activated. Typically, the body-recognization component is in-sync with the other components, but not always. For example, I know some crossdressers who hate their male bodies, but are very masculine sounding talkers and ramble on about dry manly things, with zero conversational awareness (conversational awarenss is jester-type-feminity). It is a different component than other parts of their mind. To say that female brains are less violent and have a larger or smaller hippocampus is a simpleton thing to say. I have met many people who have told me simpleton things. I have even met transsexuals who told me what a girl is or a boy’s poses are. They would tell me that girls never made certain kinds of poses, and that these kinds of poses were very masculine. And yet, I see depictions of the girliest women making these kinds of poses, and even IRL girls making these poses, and only effete males making these poses. So there are a lot of people who don’t know what they are talking about.

I think that given the right circumstances, anyone could be transsexual. It’s all about ratios in the mind. People with higher ratios of 1,2 and 3 don’t require any mental gymnastics, they inherently desire to be female. If you simply even mention the word “sex-change” to them, they will immediately obsess about it and wish it on themselves, they don’t need any kind of training, preaching, or mental gynmastics. Others are much more difficult, especially raised in the modern era of strict adherence to gender norms and shaming for stepping outside of the norms. Encouraging them to “gender-bend” will trigger intense ingrained feelings of fear and shame, ingrained at them at an early age. They will likely resist and generate a negative response.

But I want to talk about what is inherent, and what isn’t. I am a transsexual, and I have had the inherent desire for transsexual things, my drive to be beautiful was not the result of a convoluted government conspiracy, but part of my natural instinct and desire. However… Personally, I don’t think gay marriage should be made illegal, but my views on gays may offend some. Now, I fully support the people’s freedoms and choices, but watching male on male porn causes me a slight bit of mental pains, and when I see two gays kiss I feel slightly disgusted. This is my inherent bodily reflex, I am not an evil person for having an autonomous hippocampus reflex. If evil does exist, it would be the people who say I am an evil person for simply telling the truth of my inherently autonomic response. If you call me evil for saying that two men kiss makes me feel queasy, then you are an evil, manipulative kind of person. I did not say being gay was right wrong good or bad. I simply stated my automatic, bodily response that I have very little control over. But, to save my rep and reenter the politically correct club with flying colors, I will also say this…Occassionally I have seen gay porn which aroused me. I will also say, Zeus’ favorite lover was ganymede, which was an example of 2 males in love, which I think is cool. Thus I am still politically correct and you can’t ruin my life over these comments.

And this is what I mean by inherent and not inherent, morally I wish to support American liberties and freedoms such as the freedom to marry. But inherently, I don’t wish to actually attend the marriage because it makes me feel odd and queasy. And this is what I mean further, someone can be black and dislike black people, someone can be white and dislike white people. I self-identify as transsexual, but back when I was in the closet, I would wear women’s clothes in secret. But even during this time, I would see some of the older transsexuals or crossdressers, and feel weird and uncomfortable around them. This is what I meant by inherent response. In my mind, I imagined myself turning into a beautiful woman, magically. But in reality, when I saw some of these transsexuals, I just saw male-bodied persons kind of not passing into female clothing, and it made me feel disconcerted, afraid, and uncomfortable. As I grew older and more mature, this discomfort went away, but I want to explain the cause behind this.

The cause of this is because males are inherently viewed as ugly, and women are inherently viewed as a source of sexual power. Thus if a male dons the clothing of the female, it is viewed as some entity which is essentially ugly, essentially tainting the pure female essence. And thus is the source of the transsexual rage. Transsexuals are fighting a war on two fronts, a battle against their own, impenetrable ugliness (dysphoria) as well as society’s collected dysphoria against them. It is a tragedy of epic proportion.

Which goes into my original point into that I could convert anyone to transsexual. I could even convert Autsider to transsexual. If Joker could convert Harvey Dent, why couldn’t I? You see its because males are wrapped in an identity which is powered by their own testosterone, a chemical of dryness. If a male’s brain is introduce to a bit of estrogen, there is a chance it could cause a self-contained chemical reaction, and fuel itself. The human brain is quite flexible, when estrogen or testosterone is introduced, physical brain changes occur. The main ingredient though, is society, and the core of the hippocampus. You see, the reason males stay being male, is fourfold. 1. Stoicism, a sense that if someone is not around to be a strong male, society will collapse. 1. however, is partially a fallacy. Social degeneracy has little to do with one’s body appearance, and more to do with one’s intelligence. In addition, someone who is a man without a feminine side, is typically unintelligent and stupid. And someone who is a woman without a masculine side, is typically stupid also. 2. Sexual dynamics. Males are afraid of being lusted by other males, wearing women’s clothing makes them feel vunerable to other males. 3. Inherent hippocampus: If a male puts on woman’s clothes he may feel inherent disgust because of his own male ugliness (dysphoria). 4. Social condiitoning. In many environments crossdressing is shamed, thus a fear of crossdressing develops. Despite all these (1,2,3 and 4) I could convert anyone to transsexual, it is rather easy once you know how the brain works. People have an inherent dishonesty reflex, and they try to lie to me, but I see right through them, you see in some ways I know them better than they even know themselves, because they lack the drive to self-examine, and so they shroud themselves with lies. I’m not saying Autsider is a liar, I was talking about someone else. Many of these males (in-de-nile) have outrighted lied to me because they lie to themselves. But as far as Autisider goes, so, why don’t I convert them to transsexual? I don’t have the resources, time, nor do I actually care one way or the other. If Autsider wants to go his whole life hating a bunch of fictional Jews, it’s not my job to save him from his hate-filled existence, nor do I care as am somewhat of an anti-hero and his hate is rather humorous to me. And by fictional Jews I mean that the Jews he hates are a scapegoat, it is only a handful of Jews that actually run the world and banking, the vast majority of Jews are nobodies. Second there are no such thing as Jews, the Jew race does not exist, semites are actually genetically the same as Arabs, Northern africans and some Caucasians, there is no scientific evidence supporting the existence of a well-defined, Semite/Jew race. But enough of this tangent, back to my main topic.

There are two kinds of feminity. One is a submissive kind of uncertainty, and the other kind of feminity is a sexual power. Female poses of type 1 emit compassion and uncertainty. Female poses of type 2. simply advertise and attract towards their own beauty. However in any true, full women they have both type 1 and type 2 femininity, swapped out depending on the occasion. Male poses shroud and cloud, shield and hide their essence. Males must acknoledge their servant status, and that they have no inherent sexual value. You can see this reflected in their stoic poses, like how muscular men advertise themselves like servant like bodygaurds, while women advertise themselves as kinds of fairies or deities. Men, when posing for the camera, appear stoic, ingrained in the social belief that their own emotions are not important, all that is important is either completing the mission, or protecting the emotions of the woman, titanic servitude, etc. Many women inherently view life as they owe men nothing, while men inherently owe them money.

Myself, spiritually I am Japanese. I have the mind of Japanese person, innovative and a soul ahead of my time. I mostly look down on society, but sometimes I even look up. Sometimes I am geniunely impressed by some talented artists.

I will end racism, but not the way You wanted me to be. If there is a God, I am the closest thing to it in the flesh. I see all the races as they are. People demand more blacks to be on TV, but this is their egos…does it really matter if a black is on TV to whore themselves to the world? A man should be content with the simple life, a woman at home and a small, quiet home. Does someone interested in filthy, vulgar rap music have even the brain to appreciate true luxury? What need does he have for worldy riches made by artisans he can barely appreciate? What need does he have to show his image to the world which is not in need of him? I see blacks for what they are, a small, quiet African tribe, wearing modest tribal outfits. I do not hate black people, and this is what I meant by ending racism. Racists have an unnatural, disease like hate of black people. Do I hate a bear in the woods? I simply see blacks as a quiet, desert tribe in Africa, there is nothing to hate. Samuel L. Jackson should not embarass himself on TV commercials anymore, he cannot sing. Watching him is just awkward, his role is Mace Windu, not a singer of songs. If a black wants to be beautiful, he should be made beautiful, via technology. Put the beautiful into that which requires beauty, put the ugly into that which requires ugliness. There is no ego. There is no fear that the white race will be annhilated. The White DNA will simply be preserved, both the beautiful and ugly, the black DNA will be saved, both the beautiful and the ugly, shows will be made without ego, the beautiful transformed and made for the beautiful role, and the ugly kept in the interest of history. If a black wants to be on TV, he will be transformed into a beautiful black, through genetic alteration, unless the show calls for ugliness. There is no judgement, no ego, only love. If a white only show of only beautiful whites is called for, the DNA will be accessed from the archives, and the show will be made. There will be no laws or rules forcing an equal ratio of blacks into the show. Neither will their be laws saying blacks are not allowed to make their own shows. I am the closest thing to God, and true Justice, you will ever see. I am the true embodiment of a soul of true compassion and Love.

Have you tried meds yet?

I take my meds.

If you can’t see TV as a bunch of whoredom for feeble egos to fill their needs, then go to a Buddhist temple and pursue meditation. Then you will see the world clearly, as I do.