Could a elephant jack itself off? (Evolution question)

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Could a elephant jack itself off? (Evolution question)

Postby The Golden Turd » Sat Nov 26, 2016 1:49 am

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BRbBWguleQU

I don't know now, I always assumed a elephant could literally just reach under itself and jerk it a little, but it now becomes apparent it needs a clear anus, and a man fist pounding his rear to pull it off.

Why don't human males have these biological barriers? I think a elephant could literally reach his penis, but it is too complicated for them to do it. Humans can reach as well, and do it all the time.

Was there some masturbation singularity reached after the last common ancestor between elephants and humans, on the human side? What species was it that sought to do this first, and why?

Furthermore, why do we beat off other species, especially when it is this complicated? Is it alturism? Or the selfish gene?
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Re: Could a elephant jack itself off? (Evolution question)

Postby Ultimate Philosophy 1001 » Sat Nov 26, 2016 1:54 am

Guess all elephants are inherently bisexual. In order to impregnate the female, they must take it up the butt from another male.
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Re: Could a elephant jack itself off? (Evolution question)

Postby The Golden Turd » Sat Nov 26, 2016 2:12 am

A Asian male.

I did find the asian chick running with the sperm rather attractive.
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Re: Could a elephant jack itself off? (Evolution question)

Postby gib » Fri Dec 09, 2016 6:38 am

Turd Ferguson wrote:https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BRbBWguleQU


Holy fucking Jesus Christ! ^ That's an actual job?

Turd Ferguson wrote:Furthermore, why do we beat off other species, especially when it is this complicated?


No shit! Why can't they just put a mate in there with him and collect the sperm from her cunt? Or just non-invasively as possible operate on him and extract the sperm. Show him dirty pictures of naked female elephants. Anything but sticking your arm up his ass.

Did he go to college for that?
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Re: Could a elephant jack itself off? (Evolution question)

Postby The Golden Turd » Fri Dec 09, 2016 7:27 am

Yes, as a vet. I'm hoping that's an elective.
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Re: Could a elephant jack itself off? (Evolution question)

Postby -1- » Fri Jan 13, 2017 2:50 pm

Turd Ferguson wrote:A. Why don't human males have these biological barriers?
B. Furthermore, why do we beat off other species, especially when it is this complicated? Is it alturism? Or the selfish gene?

A. I think it's a sign that certain mammals (humans, apes) have a better and more powerful power of imagination. When you whack off, you need some imagination, otherwise it won't work. Elephants don't have that capacity, me reckons.
B. I don't know why other humans whack off other species. Some for science, some for breeding (agriculture, show animal creation, dog breeding, etc.) Some to entertain perverts, some to entertain thoughts.
I know why I used to beat my aunt's dog off. It was out of pure altruism. I did not have any sexual pleasure out of it. But I reckoned he did, (the dog, not my aunt), and that was good enough for me.

You had a third question: why some species develop the ability to whack off. I think it has got to do with having a survival and gene-propagation advantage of being ready to produce offspring at any time. Most mamals and birds have a mating season. They copulate only then. Some mammals like Chimpanzees and Humans, have random allowances by females for the male to produce offspring. So one has to be ready at any time, and that can't be achieved with a stagnant semen base. Because the pool of semen would literally rot in your scrotum. So you have to "flush" out the ducts once in a while, in order to stimulate brand new semen production. Therefore whackering has been invented.

Those species that don't have the whackering instinct, have to suck themselves off (dogs), or wait for a female / male to show up in a ready state, or have a different species whanker him or her off.

You asked when this ability was first introduced to a species. Answer: when the species 1. developed enough brain power to supply the necessary imagination, and 2. the "good life" started for a species, that is, a life when survival was not bound to seasonal or occasional abundance of food supply, but was constant, so females could have the luxury of carrying a pregnancy to full term without much trouble, and let the little baby sucker them and survive without bankrupting the family for needing to buy formula.
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