I come to say, what is intelligence?
I mean, I used to go to a church, where a lot of the people were engineers and were good at what they did. Many of them were more knowledgeable than me. Some of them were math whizzes, who were valedectorians of their class. Contrast this to me, who, at an early age, got straight A+'s in all classes, but as my depression grew, I didn’t apply myself. For example, in high school physics I wouldn’t pay attention in class, and I waited till the last day to study for the finals. Yet I got a perfect score on it. On the other hand, I had a computer science class which was so easy I didn’t even bother to do the assignments, and I got a C in it.
Since I am depressed and view humans as bad people, I don’t have much motivation to become valedectorian of any class. That being said, there were some classes that I legitimately struggled in, for example I had a Calculus professor who spoke broken english and I barely understood the concepts. To this day I still dream about that class, and I have dreams where I have 20 pages of math homework I have to do in one day, which instead of doing I am partying. Yet it is not him in the dream, it is always a woman professor I feel love towards. Another class I struggled in was C++ programming, it seemed daunting and I never really applied myself, I slacked off. I am a visual learner and I often learn better when i hear things one on one, for example sometimes when I read things in a book I see ideas which have a double meaning, and I don’t know which it means so I have to ask in person. That being said, I was very antisocial and afraid of talking to people, so if there was something I didn’t understand I’d just suffer in silence without asking anyone. I was also depressed at that time and waited till the last minute to study and do homework, sometimes forgetting to do assignments altogether. I got a D+ in that class.
Back to the church thing though, in my church I was surrounded by people I was envious of for several reasons. For one, they all had relationships and girlfriends/boyfriends and I didn’t. They also had better and bigger houses than I did. But also a lot of them had engineering and math backgrounds that I was envious of. A lot of them were better at calculus and trigonometry than I was, and it made me upset. Also, some of them seemed to have a fancier English vocabulary than I did. Some of them seemed to be pros at debate and knew terms about logic I didn’t even know. But yet…all of them still had blind faith to obey a religion…They never could trump me at ethics either, I always beat them at debate at poking holes at both God’s morality, and showing gaping holes in human behavior and morality. They never won those debates, just agreed to disagree.
There is a second reason I mention my old church friends. I am 24 years old now. I have a condition, where I am unable to connect with people, and find interactions with them to be boring. The reason I mention my old church friends, is because they would say that the inability to connect with people, is not related to my intelligence. The say this because they are happy go lucky types, who enjoys the company of people and stupid social gathering activities. They say that the inabilty to connect is unrelated to intelligence. But I say different, deep down it deeply feels like it is because of my intelligence. But I cannot prove it.
So I say to you, what exactly is intelligence?