Why do people insist on being relaxed and not being serious?

As a serious, philosophical and scientific person, I often get the comment from laypeople that I should “relax and get laid” / “relax and be cool” / “stop thinking so much” / “stop taking things so seriously”.

What is there so great about not thinking or questioning things / not taking things seriously? What value is there in sailing through life? Why do people want to be this docile? This is pack mentality and it’s not something to appreciate. If we all thought like this, we would still be in the Stone Age.

I partially understand the problem though - the human brain aims to protect and conserve your energy and so it tries to have as much fun as possible and do as little effort as possible. However, I don’t think like that…

while sympathetic to the idiocy of people telling you what mood you should have
one can be serious and have a good time
and/or one can be funny for this part of the day and be serious some other part
and/or one can use humor for serious purposes
and one can be a complicated individual

Being dour can have nothing to do with seriousness, also. This may have nothing to do with you as an individual, but here we are talking in the abstract, and some people who yes, focus on deep issues, at the same time are not dealing with personal problems or are angry/afraid of engaging in a more complex way socially. They may have fears of losing control or deep distrust of other people (perhaps related to shit in childhood)

The people coming to this person may not want him or her to give up profound interests, but to engage in other kinds of interpersonal relations also.

IOW in the abstract these criticisms or invitations might also simply be love.

In your case, it may be shallow idiocy aimed at a complex person, sure. But here in the disembodied non-individual internet, when discussing this in a general way, I figure it’s good to point out that we really don’t know the situation.

And even if these rae shallow idiots, they may also almost coincidentally be carrying a good message, in this case.

Statistically, you have almost no chance of changing the world. You’re not going to be responsible for any scientific breakthroughs, or for resolving any long-standing philosophical problems or debates. So once you soak that in and accept it, then it’s easy to see why you should spend some time doing something else besides trying to convince yourself or others that you’re some kind of deep intellectual. Most people who consider themselves knowledgeable about philosophy usually do one of two things. They either become quote machines, citing things that others have said and eventually, over a rigorous enough debate resort to appealing to someone else’s authority…or, they choose a political position and advocate for it under the guise of philosophy. No one really wants to argue about whether monism or dualism is the case, or about how connections can validly be made between the abstract and the concrete. Those are philosophical things. The ones who love to debate usually have some way that they think the world should be, and in that view there’s an ingroup and an outgroup. And the purpose, or at least the desired outcome of their rhetoric is to advocate for those politics.

When you really look at what actually happens among the “serious” ones, it’s really quite boring, at little sad, and kind of silly the way most of it just ends up being a big masturbatory ego stroke for those involved.

You have a life. Live it. Don’t be a fool who sits around toying with delusions. If you want to do that, then at least know you’re doing it and do it as a hobby in your spare time. It’s important to enjoy yourself, and to take care of yourself, and to get laid. So do those things too.

So just what DO you do to relax? I would suggest that there might have to be some things even if they do not conform to the expectations of others.

Can you not find some thing[s] to do where you can be both in deep thought and relaxing at the same time? Some things are compatible ~~ like atoms and trout. :laughing:

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Marcelo Gleiser has had a passion for science and fishing since he was a boy growing up on the beaches of Rio de Janeiro. Now a world-famous theoretical physicist with hundreds of scientific articles and several books of popular science to his credit, he felt it was time to connect with nature in less theoretical ways. After seeing a fly-fishing class on the Dartmouth College green, he decided to learn to fly-fish, a hobby, he says, that teaches humility. In The Simple Beauty of the Unexpected, Gleiser travels the world to scientific conferences, fishing wherever he goes. At each stop, he ponders how in the myriad ways physics informs the act of fishing; how, in its turn, fishing serves as a lens into nature’s inner workings; and how science engages with questions of meaning and spirituality, inspiring a sense of mystery and awe of the not yet known. Personal and engaging, The Simple Beauty of the Unexpected is a scientist’s tribute to nature, an affirmation of humanity’s deep connection with and debt to Earth, and an exploration of the meaning of existence, from atom to trout to cosmos.

Sometimes we just need to [un]learn things first.

This person needs to belly laugh a few times a day to get those biological healthy chemicals repairing the body and laying out immunity charms.

Hi Wendy,

Yes, laughing is really so very good for the psyche and so is a good cleansing cry.
I think that they are both capable of tearing down those stubborn walls we build up in order not to see things differently and to change our tune on things. They also help us, allow us to see our blind spots.

I hope that you and that man of yours are doing well both together and separately, Wendy.

Most people are weak-minded, average or low iq. These are the ones who usually say “quit thinking so much”, “chill out”, “get a life”, etc. Because they have given-up on, or been humiliated early in life, to think for themselves. Thinking for yourself, hence Philosophy, is very rare. It requires a lot of time investment and natural curiosity not found in the average populace. It requires a rare genetic mixture.

You should count yourself blessed by The Gods to meet a philosopher, especially, face-to-face. Be prepared.

Urwrongx1000

Most people? That is not too clear a picture, is it? Just what percentage of people in the world would you say
are?

Do you think that some kind of unintended wisdom can come from these weak-minded, et cetera people of yours albeit they might word their message a bit differently but then again sometimes a cold wind on the face is what we need to wake up.

Do you not think that it is possible that we often think too much? Is it such a tragedy to try to find a little balance once in a while between thinking too, too much and letting our hair down and relaxing our mind ~~ giving our mental life a bit of freedom, feng shuing the corridors of our mind?

.

Yes, this can be possible but at the same time, it does not mean that these people are not capable of seeing when others are too obsessed with thought/thinking to the exclusion of play and fun, which is psychologically sound and healthy.

What is that rare, genetic mixture?

Lol. I will figure here that the You is the Universal you.
Be prepared. Will this be some great serendipitous moment?

Do you think that you might know a philosopher is one even before he/she speaks?

I actually agree with most of this.

Thinking which has no practical utility is a waste of time. It’s stupid when people make accusations like “You only speak about X because it affects you personally in some way”. Well yeah, duh.

Should I concern myself with purely theoretical and useless things which don’t affect real life in any way?

I think being wrong is too traumatizing for people. So they laugh it off. They play it off. They pretend to not be serious. Being a joker, a jokester, is a “get-out-jail-free” card, for being wrong. Lack of seriousness means that you can be wrong, without having to pay costs, and be embarrassed for being wrong.

But if you’re serious, then being wrong is embarrassing. It means there’s something flawed about your mind, your rationalizing, your ideas, your thoughts. It represents a disharmony, a dissonance, unsymmetrical shape, broken, fragmented.

Thus it’s very difficult for philosophers to “be right”, accurate, correct about things. Most humanity, as children, teenagers, and young adults, give up early. They throw in the towel. This is when they leave “the thinking” for others, to take up. This is a powerful point in life, because it means you stop thinking for yourself, and give your autonomy/power away to somebody else.

This leads into Politics. People give-up their power to who they feel represents themselves, and their values. However, politicians use images, and lies, to absorb that power and trust. And then politicians use that trust, to their own personal gains.

This is the reason-why-cause that Politics and Philosophy mesh well together. Except Proper Philosophy is more about objective-existence, outside politics and humanity. Politics is usually a step-down from Philosophy.

If you do Philosophy well, then it means being serious about important values and implications. This means that pseudo-philosophers, or potential-philosophers, can be wrong in very profound and fundamental ways.

Imagine if you were in a position of immense power, where literally an entire group, country, or nation (or humanity) looked up to you for advise, wisdom, and leadership. Well, you better be damn-well-certain of a few things, right? You better have your logic in order. You better be reasoned and rational. Otherwise, if you’re wrong about small things, then why aren’t you wrong about the big things too?

And people intuit this. And when authorities are wrong about small things, people become anxious and worried. Small flaws lead to bigger flaws.

Thanathots

lol. You must have been potty trained at the age of 2 months. Pauvre Bebe! :stuck_out_tongue:

Do you find or see any practical utility within, let us say, fantasy and imagination?

One may be a pragmatist but let us not throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Define what YOU mean by * practical*. One size does not fit all.

Go fuck yourself.

I am interested in serious subject matter particularly history and physics and philosophy. But only to learn and understand them not to try to change the world with them. I know that this life is temporary and that nothing ultimately matters in the grand scheme of things but while I am here I want to acquire as much knowledge
as I can. And I do it simply because it is my goal in life. It gives meaning to it in a Universe free of all meaning. Learning for the sake of learning. No more or no less

That was really quite unwarranted and therefore impractical.

I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who overcomes his enemies, for the hardest victory is victory over self.

— Aristotle